Sometimes you just want sympathy, not an answer!

Boy-- he sounds like my previous mistake :-). My other half has only done something like that a few times, and when I pointed out to him that he was being practical, but was sounding like a jerk, he took it to heart. He was really shy when he was young, so sometimes he just doesn't realize that sympathy and honesty may not be the same thing-- and sometimes I just want sympathy. I have been guilt of lecturing too-- but only when he does the same danged thing over and over and over again. He doesn't actually lecture often-- but he is so honest it can be brutal. Keep your eyes open for an opportunity to do the same thing to him the same way, and when he whines or pouts-- tell him now he knows how you felt. Other than that, all you can do is let it go for now, or use plan B-- don't turn to him for anything like comfort, favors, rides-- and when he complains about that, tell him you will be happy to come running to him when you feel like being lectured and treated like a 2 year old. Sometimes it works-- now granted, when I used that tactic on my previous mistake, it took him 5 years to divorce me--- he said we had grown in different directions and he didn't like me anymore (yes, he used the word LIKE). Heck-- we hadn't even been in the same dimension for years! I agree-- he should have either taken you there or sympathized. Some people just don't see a situation the same way as others. If he's like that about a lot of things, he needs an attitude adjustment.

The following are generalities, and not 100% accurate for every specific individual. Yeah, this is a man thing. Men don't tell men their problems, unless they want a solution. That's the primary reason a man says anything to anyone really, is because they want a solution to the problem. If two guys are at bar, and one has a problem with his (insert anything), he will only tell the other man that problem, if he thinks that man can give him an answer as to what to do. If he does not think the other man has an answer, he won't say anything. Women, are completely different. Women want someone to listen and hear all they have to say, because for whatever reason, tell someone else about their problems makes them feel better. I personally find this insane. I have never felt even remotely better about any problem, by merely telling it to someone else. But typically, women find this to be a good release of stress and anxiety, by merely sitting with someone else, going "blaw blaw blaw blaw! BLAW BLAW!!! and I mean blaw blaw, after I said blaw blaw blaw. Can you believe blaw blaw??" No solutions, no fixes, nothing changed, but now they feel better. Again, me being a man, I can't even fathom how that works, but I've learned to accept it. Your husband is treating you the way he would another man. If a man comes to a man, and starts complaining about his allergies, the other man would suggest "hey... got get some allergy medicine if you have allergy problems." And then possibly suggest Allegra, Benadryl, Claritin, or something that has worked for him. Then, if the other man does not do what he suggested, and yet complains about his allergies again, the other would say "hey, I already told you what to do, either do it, or stop complaining." This is how a man thinks. I do the same. If a guy comes to me, complaining about such and such issue, and I tell him how to fix it, but he refuses and yet complains about it again the next day.... I'm going to react the same way. I already told you how to fix it, either do it, or shut up. Now again.... this is not how women react. Your husband doesn't understand that a girl is not the same as a guy, and he need to adjust how he responds to his wife, to how women think, and not how guys think.

Yes it's a man thing, we tend to be emotionless at times haha. I think its just the way we are, was he busy when you told him? It's generally when men are cleaning or doing something around the house we tend to come out with negative remarks, but I'm sure he loves you its just guys naturally have short fuses.

Wow this sounds so familiar it is not even funny! Lol. Most men don't think the way we do so of course they are no where near as sensitive as we are or as sympathetic as we are. I swear we have different kinds of brains than what men have. They have no feelings on how to be nice or sweet. They think too logical rather than emotional. At least if they thought emotionally sometimes it would be nice...

That is so rude I would bee so mad at my husband if he said something like that. Your husband is being very insensitive. I think you should sit down and tell him how you feel when he did this who knows he may feel bad and take you

This is my sympathy for you. But sorry it has to sound like an answer or else my post will not count for anything here in mylot. I have to make it a little bit longer and thus, it would look like an answer. As I continue to write, I realize that this is neither an answer nor sympathy because it has nothing to do with anything at all.

I´m afraid I have never been able to accept unwanted lectures from anyone (not even from my parents when I was a child). There are other ways of suggesting solutions, but the best is to offer their service so that you (the sufferer) say what it is best for you. My husband was no saint and we had some fights over these issues, but I did not let them pass.

I honestly believe that men just don't get it sometimes lol. They're programmed to give us the straight facts whereas women want opinions, sympathy, and comfort. Sometimes when we tell our guys something, all we want is for them to feel bad and comfort us, or do something nice for us. Guys don't think that way at all and their solution is to just tell us facts and not really give sympathy. For some reason they just don't understand what we want sometimes lol

That was an insensitive thing to say. I have a feeling, though, that right about now he may be sorry he said it. There are some people that just can't resist bringing up the fact that they were right in the first place and you were wrong so now suffer and don't complain to them about it. Yeah, I know the type. Unfeeling clods. Are your allergies better now? If not I hope you're feeling better, even if you didn't take the advice of your husband. And try to have a nice day, in spite of him.