Money matters and relationship

Philippines
September 10, 2012 12:06am CST
I believe that for two people to be compatible with one another, one of the most important factors they should agree upon is about money matters. I've seen my parents argue for so many times due to disagreements on where to allot their money. My father tends to spend more while my mother is the extreme opposite. Now, they are planning to purchase a car, but they couldn't agree on which to buy because my father obviously wanted a pricey car, while my mother wants a cheap one. Do you have the same conflicts with your partner? How do you deal with it?
1 person likes this
11 responses
• United States
10 Sep 12
To some people money plays a significant role in where the relationship stand and where it will go. I know my partner (his parents) are wealthy.. Not wealthy in the sense that they do it have to work again but through hard work they are able to live comfortably but still are currently employed to sustain that lifestyle. For this he always boasts how his Parents can do this and that and for my part I pretend that I don't hear his comments. I guess he fails to realize that it's his parent not him. I guess he doesn't realize that he could end up the complete opposite. Now that will be joke. To answe the question if money matters, I thinkit all depends on the people and if they can make it work. For me money does to matter cause money can't by u real love or tru happiness but he's all about money and getting a good job and bringing in the six figures but we still make it work between us although we have differing views. That's why he picks up the check when we eat out! Since he's the rich one lol
• Philippines
10 Sep 12
Money becomes very important when the couple is starting a family. It's the time when you have to set aside money for the household and children. When your partner wants to buy something that you don't approve of, that is when money becomes a problem. About your partner, I guess he is saying things about his parents and their financial situation to impress you. And it's so nice of him to pick up the check for you.
• Philippines
11 Sep 12
I agree. Financial stability is also my prerequisite to marriage. Unless you don't plan to have kids yet, then married couples should definitely set aside enough money for the family. LOL, he seems to be enjoying paying the check for you anyway.
• United States
10 Sep 12
Lol, I guess he is. Of course I wouldn't start a family who is not financially stable. That's a recipe for disaster. I'm not sayin the person should be bill or Donald trump rich because the family is going to have needs .nit having that stability is no way to start a family if there are plans to expand the family. Lol, he has no choice really since he's always boasting he has to. See, if he didn't then that will be mutual but that's kind of like a punishment. Lol
1 person likes this
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
11 Sep 12
We tend to just have little conflicts about money - in the past, it's been how we will buy something or how much we should save. They aren't too big, mostly because for most of our relationship, we just haven't had money to spare. We spend time a few times a year going over what our goals are and then we figure out how we can meet them. I think it is important to be financially compatible, not necessarily the same as each other but able to compromise, because money determines so much of what people's lives will be like.
• Philippines
11 Sep 12
Having conflicts about money is inevitable between married couples. A person's money isn't his alone, but belongs to the family. So how he spends the money greatly affects his spouse. I agree too about the importance of financial compatibility. You can't be exactly alike with your partner, but you should at least be able to compromise. I think it's important that both persons are able to look toward the future.
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
10 Sep 12
Money is the common problem in marriages. Especially if both are working, there seems to be hassles when one buy a lot of unnecessary things instead of saving for future and emergency cases. Buying thing also becomes a problem when couples has different tastes, ideas and opinion towards one particular thing.
• Philippines
11 Sep 12
Married couples should discuss monetary issues carefully to avoid future conflicts. I've known a couple who are both working. They've agreed that one of them would pay for the mortgage, while the other would pay for their children's tuition fee. I don't know the rest of the details, but with this arrangement, they were able to avoid conflicts.
@asyria51 (2861)
• United States
11 Sep 12
My hubby and I are pretty much on the same page when it comes to money. We prioritize where any extra money goes. Right now, we know that we need to make some house repairs so our extra money is going towards that. We drive economical cars, and we drive them until they die. Once we pay for the house repairs, we would like to take a trip for our anniversary.
• Philippines
11 Sep 12
Wow, that's what you call handling money wisely. Good thing both of you are motivated to save money. You have a common goal and you stick with it. It's easier to be frugal if you're spouse is also on the same page. Best wishes and hope you'll enjoy your anniversary trip.
• Philippines
11 Sep 12
Now that's real, a difference in taste of money spending can and will surface problems for any couple but actually there is no such thing as a "conflict-free" relationship. You are going to argue about something with your'e partner at some point be it about something to buy, an investment to make or what you want for dinner.
• Philippines
11 Sep 12
I agree that in a relationship, there is no such thing as conflict-free. What matters is how the couple handles the disagreements. I often see couples fight over money. In my opinion, it's hard to compromise in this issue especially if the couple has very different views.
• United States
10 Sep 12
I told my boyfriend (future husband *hihihihi hopefully*) that we shouldn't argue regarding money because it is just money and nothing more. We atleast talk about everything we should spend and budget and agree both sides :) Well we are happy regarding it :")
• Philippines
11 Sep 12
It's nice that you agree with your boyfriend. I also talk about money and budget with my boyfriend and am happy that we also agree on a lot of things.
@Fulltank (2882)
• Philippines
10 Sep 12
One of the common problem that a husband and wife quarrels upon is money. I too would agree to this and base on experience, something that has to do with money, there's always the possibility of long argument. I've learned to swallow my pride and sometimes (or oftentimes) just clip my wings and let the opposite side be the winner. Money (though many people will not accept it) is often times the source of major argument in a relationship.
• Philippines
10 Sep 12
It's very difficult to earn money these days. That is why money is become more of an issue than before among married couples. Problems arise when couples disagree on how to allocate their hard-earned money. Lucky for those who agree about how to spend money, but for those couples who don't often agree, they just have to compromise and reach a good enough agreement.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
10 Sep 12
Your parents seem to be like me and my husband. I am the thrifty one and my husband is my opposite. I guess this is common among couples. It is just a matter of talking it out well (Compromise) so that a good decision can be made.
• Philippines
11 Sep 12
I agree. Sometimes, it's my mom who gives in, sometimes, it's my dad. Other times, both of them compromise their own wants to reach a level where both would become happy. Most of the times, they would just ask me or my sister to choose and that is when we would get caught in the middle.
@toniganzon (72533)
• Philippines
10 Sep 12
Thank goodness i don't have such conflicts with my husband. Whenever I want to buy something expensive, i consult it with him because I trust his judgement enough on where I put my money. Even though I badly want it but he thinks it's not worth it, I have to let it go. It took us months on what car to buy before because we are that meticulous on where we put our hard earned money. It should be at a value no matter how expensive it is as long as we believe it's worth the price, we buy it.
• Philippines
10 Sep 12
Even if you may have different needs and wants with your husband, it helps if you value each other's opinion. Your husband is lucky because you clearly value his opinion more than your own wants.
@squallming (1775)
• Malaysia
10 Sep 12
I would have to agree with you that money matter can be a factor of conflict in any relationship. I have seen countless couples fought over money matters. My own parents did that too. When I get married later, I will make sure that I managed it properly so as to not have fight with my love ones over such trivial issue.
• Philippines
10 Sep 12
I remember one of my teacher tell our class that to fight for money is a very stupid thing. The teacher made a lot of sense. However, arguing about money is inevitable especially for married couples. It's impossible to just watch your spouse spending a lot of fortune on things that you know aren't important, especially if you're not really rich. It's great that you have this great resolve to manage your finances wisely with your future spouse. I am also determined to manage financial matters wisely with my future husband.
@Winike (65)
• Hungary
10 Sep 12
With my girlfriend we never argue on money , we love each other and we know that's all we need! But sometimes when i try to waste my money on stupid things she warns me.. Which is a good thing for my purse :)
• Philippines
11 Sep 12
Haha, that's good. Reminding each other about spending habits is a helpful way to stick within the budget. Nice to hear that you and your girlfriend have a wonderful relationship. Stay in love.