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I am the youngest among 5 children. My parents always compared me to my older brother and that brought insecurities in him. They used to tell him that though he's 4 years older, i'm much smarter than him. I even remembered my father comparing our height. There was a time when I almost reached his height, but my father was wrong about that, because my brother became a very tall man when he reached his teens. I was never compared to our eldest because he was mom's favourite. I was never compared to the other two sisters as well. My brother managed his insecurities when we lost our parents because though he was not the eldest, he was given the most responsibilities. He became the father in the family at a very tender age and he realized that he had the power to control us all. Owing to how he was treated by my parents, he found a way to get back at me by making me feel inadequate, dumb and had no sense of responsibility.

hi lovellehanna im not a mother yet, but thru experience and some readings, it would affect your sons self esteem, so i think you should avoid comparing them even if its a joke. from my personal experience, when i was a kid my older cousins kept on telling me how ugly i am compare to them, so i avoid family gatherings which i know they will be present, cause whenever I am around them ill feel i wont be valued for who I am, all they will see is the traits that i lack.. so i think you must both praise them, it will make them better, more motivated, more confident, and it is a powerful form of encouragement. :)