I should be responsible for your stupidity
By 911Ricki
@911Ricki (13588)
Canada
September 10, 2012 10:16am CST
My Mother gave my younger brother her credit card. Yep, thats right he goes and gets what he wants on her credit card.
Now she has to get gas in her car, guess who has her credit card. She calls me saying she either needs me to figure out a way to get her card or use my card.
Well Im not driving 2 hours to the city for her credit card, because my brother needs this or that when he goes to school. We would never be allowed to touch their credit card let alone use it. So since she stupidily gave it to him, she can figure it out. She has a debit card, but she doesnt have the money.
I told her I have to bring Marco for his vet checkup tomorrow, plus grab food for Max & Gizmoe. I just paid $450 for the dentist, plus $ 150 for my glasses. Im skimming it until my cheque goes through (takes a few days), and then takes a few days for VISA to process a payment. I want to make sure I have everything paid before I get there, Ive never been to this vet before so I dont want to walk in and not ahve the money.
Her gas takes about $100.00 to $150.00 and she wouldnt put a little in she would fill it all up. I cant guarentee Ill get the money either, because they dont have any.
I told her to call him, and sit waiting or call my Dad to bail her out again not my problem. Either way its would be money out of my pocket, all because she has no control over herself allowing my brother not to use her credit card.
4 people like this
13 responses
@lampar (7584)
• United States
10 Sep 12
No, you are not responsible for her stupidity, she need to call your brother up and get her credit card back from him, or just go to her big bank and withdraw the cash require to pay for her gasoline. No one should be responsible for your mother stupidity except her ownself, especially if the bill she asked you to pay is costing you hundred of dollar, it is insane and unnecessary for you to pay for her stupid action by continuing to feed your brother with her credit card, He need to get his own credit card and shouldn't be given other people credit card to pay his own expenses. Sigh! 
@much2say (55601)
• Los Angeles, California
10 Sep 12
It's not your problem, 911Ricki - totally not your problem. I can't believe your mom actually gave your brother her credit card. That was pretty foolish, wasn't it? Well, it's her card - so it's her responsibility . . . it'll be pretty interesting how much of it your brother will use. Next thing you know she'll be hitting you guys up for money to help pay for the bill. Get out of that house as soon as you can!!!!!!
1 person likes this
@carol2532001 (467)
• Jamaica
19 Sep 12
I agree with you about not helping pay for her brothers needs, just paying for general things like food, clothes, electricity, whatever every body normally uses in a home. A specific amount each month would help to take some of the pressure off her mother. You say that she does that which is very good, I did not know this as it was not mentioned here before my comment.
@carol2532001 (467)
• Jamaica
11 Sep 12
If they are living at home and working they should be helping to pay the bills. Not only will this prepare them for when they are living on their own but it will also take some of the pressure off parents that have been feeding, clothing and putting a roof over their heads all their lives. once you are an adult you should take responsibility for yourself and not expect your parents to continue doing for you what you should now be doing for yourself.
1 person likes this
@much2say (55601)
• Los Angeles, California
11 Sep 12
Well, if you know 911Ricki from her other posts, she DOES pay rent and pays for her own bills - including her own food and other stuff - while living at her parents (who also help themselves to too much of her stuff without asking). Her brother doesn't isn't particularly productive or helpful at home . . . so would it really be fair for 911Ricki to pay for any part of the bill for her mother's credit card in which her brother is now using?
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
10 Sep 12
They whine about what he doesnt do or what he does do and here they hand him their credit card. They are just thorwing themselves under the bus they cant afford any of this and they already spent $10,000 on his schooling and counting. They just bought $950 worth of textbooks today. Plus, spending $100 - $150 a day on gas so he can drive to school. It will all coome and haunt them in the future, because my brother wont give them a penny.
2 people like this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
10 Sep 12
This s their problem. It's their fault they raised him to be irresponsible.
1 person likes this
@dainy1313 (2370)
• Leon, Mexico
11 Sep 12
You are right roberten I think that if we do not control our impulse we may feel guilty and regret after then act as qe didn´t want. We are not supposed to support everyone who comes for help, even if we´d like to, it´s impossible because we have to be already responsible for our lives. But it´s the way we say the things that can help us solve the problem. Isn´t it?
Blessings
ricki&roberten... dainy
ricki&roberten... dainy @carol2532001 (467)
• Jamaica
11 Sep 12
There are times in a family that call for a lot of give and take, did she offer to refund you? Perhaps your brother was supposed to return the card and forgot or she should have gassed up before he left with the card and she forgot. I give my son my credit card to buy stuff for himself and the rest of our family, he goes grocery shopping with it and he saves me a lot of time on the road because he is able to do these things for me. My other son will borrow money from me and will return it when he can, sometimes I will borrow money from him and return it when I can. You said that your brother needed something when he went to school, I am sure if she had to cash available she would have given that to him instead of the card. I can understand that you feel very pressured because of you lack of funds and bills that you have to pay. Did you explain that to her and why you would not be able to help her? You appear to be angry that they are spending so much money on your brother, why are you angry. Do you feel that they did not spend enough on your schooling and you could have done better if they had? I think that you need to look into yourself and examine the feelings that you have for your parents and brother. I am not saying that you should have given her the money, you obviously don't have it, but why are you so angry about it?
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
11 Sep 12
I am angry because they waste their money on my younger brother, now when we were that age we had to work, slave to the point of making ourselves sick to pay our bills, and way through college yet pity party comes along and he doesnt lift a finger. Thety expect us to fork over our hard earn money to pay for his useless like rearend. I refused, and explained I got a screamed at for it, and then told to get the f*ck out. I refuse too, and especially I know they buy things they dont need then turn around expecting myself and my sister to hand them money to solve their problems. I hear it everyday, and living with a bunch of negative people constantly who think everyone owes them everything is beyond. If they would pay me back (which they wouldnt) I wouldnt mind lending it, but when I know I would be out that money even more, then they would expect more and more not going to happen.
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
11 Sep 12
Well, clearly you could not compound the problem by giving her your credit card, so really, there wasn't anything else you could do.
I think you're hitting the point where you should just stop paying attention to your parents' problems and your brother's problems. Just pay rent and save up so you can move out and have your own fridge and your own space. Because otherwise your parents will keep sucking you into their problems. And while yes, children should help their parents, this doesn't mean that your brother should get to waste their money and then they get to use yours.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Sep 12
rickie whats the deal with that you nger brother that he gets all the perks that your parents never gave the rest of y ou, is he retarded, ill mentally or physically? otherwise why not just treat him like the rest of yo u. no do n t bail her out as she gave her credit card to him willingly.let her call your dad and let them
figure it out between them,. or yell at one other or whatever.do not worry about it Ricki . d
d1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
10 Sep 12
Will she finally learn from this? The way I see it if they don't have the money either way they shouldn't hse using the credit card or letting your brother use it either. He needs to learn to fend for himself or he'll be mooching off of them forever.
I think she took a little spoiling (for her youngest son) and turned it into irresponsible parenting.
1 person likes this
@dainy1313 (2370)
• Leon, Mexico
11 Sep 12
Having a credit card is very dangerous
because we can risk to get overdue. I´d never had my son have a credit card til he be on a serious job, graduated from college. Best if he never ever uses a credit card.
I think sometimes it is not easy to say No, specially when we have a great feeling attachment to that person but if we do not settle some rules that people will be coming to ask favors always, and time comes when we ourselves need time for our own development. It is not selfishness, it´s self development. It isn´t lack of love, we need to grew as a tree in it´s own earth.
Blessings ricki... dainy
because we can risk to get overdue. I´d never had my son have a credit card til he be on a serious job, graduated from college. Best if he never ever uses a credit card.
I think sometimes it is not easy to say No, specially when we have a great feeling attachment to that person but if we do not settle some rules that people will be coming to ask favors always, and time comes when we ourselves need time for our own development. It is not selfishness, it´s self development. It isn´t lack of love, we need to grew as a tree in it´s own earth.
Blessings ricki... dainy @PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
10 Sep 12
I think your mom has an impulse control problem. She knows this us always a problem but she keeps doing it. I wouldn't bail her out either.
1 person likes this
@riyauro (6421)
• India
11 Sep 12
oh God, I don't understand why your mum is being so stupid to give her credit card to the son. People can just keep shopping till the money finishes. It is sad ya. I understand you why you would not wanna help in this situation and she has to realize her mistakes here. Don't know what your Dad had to say.. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.
@Raine38 (12250)
• United States
10 Sep 12
I agree with you on not bailing her out. It's not good for her to start thinking that it's okay to let your bro have her card and for her not to mind it because you're there to help her out anyway. No wonder your brother sounds a not irresponsible; he's getting his lessons from her. Speaking of lessons, I hope your mom learns from this.
1 person likes this
