How to make him understand...
By cattibre
@cattibre (160)
United States
September 10, 2012 11:20pm CST
Many years ago I was a stay at home mom/housewife. I was great at the mom part, but i admit I am not the best housewife. I hate to clean or cook. Don't get me wrong, the house was not dirty just cluttered and I did cook food just not always homemade. Here is my problem though...My husband has been laid off for over a year and is now about to lose unemployment. I told him that if he would go back and finish college I would work and take care of all the bills. I did not tell him I would work, be the only one who deals with the kids, and do all the house/yard work. I have tried several ways to get him to understand that it is his job to take care of the house now, but he just won't do it. He has assigned the kids chores and I still try to catch up on everything on my day off. To make matters worse I am going to college full time too. How do I make him understand that I need his help around here? He is using his school work as an excuse not to clean. I just don't know what to do.
3 responses
@angelkarah050182 (4980)
• Philippines
12 Sep 12
Oh, tell him that you have to divide household chores. You explain to him that you can not take care of everything and he shouldn't let your children to do his work. My husband is a housekeeper. He is very responsible doing all chores without me. When I go home on the weekends, he let me rest and do all things on his own. I help him sometimes because I know he's tired doing all the work on weekdays. He's treating me like a queen. LOL. I guess your husband will be responsible enough to do his house chores.
@cattibre (160)
• United States
12 Sep 12
Sounds like your husband is awesome! I would be happy if mine just started by keeping the kitchen clean lol. I do agree that the kids should not have to do housework if he is just sitting around. I tried to explain that too him, but all he said is it doesnt hurt them, but as a mom it makes me very angry
@Raine38 (12250)
• United States
11 Sep 12
I am also a housewife/stay at home wife for over 9 months now. Prior to that, I have been working all my life until after a few years of marriage so somehow, I can understand where you're coming from on the housewife part. But since our situation in general is not the same, I guess only you can decide what is the best approach to make your husband understand that you are a team; it is not a matter of who does this before and therefore should do so still. Things change, situations change and our life changes as we try to make a living while living, if you know what I mean. Tell him you need help. If possible, list everything down, everything that needs to be done and what among these you do, and how he can actually help big time if he wants to. Maybe he's a visual person, I don't know, but it might help him see the picture if mere words won't get through him.
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
11 Sep 12
This is one of the hardest part when you are working and still do the housework as well.
I don't know what to say since we are all different.
Like what you wrote here that thu you're not the best housewife yet you managed to look after the kids and your house.
But in your situation right now- I know you're having a hard time working in an office and doing the houseworks.
Maybe you just need to tell your husband that he needs to help you.
Open up your heart,talk with him that you are not superwoman.
I guess it's just a matter of a heart to heart talk.
