Note of Warning. Beware of Romance Scammers
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
United States
September 16, 2012 11:21am CST
I am on other sites and have made many friends through them. My friends are from all over the world. In fact, I met my husband through one of them. Mind you, he lived locally.
Recently I have been allowed 2 different men to become my "friend" on Facebook. Harmless, or so I thought at first. The first one hit on me during our first and only chat. Once you read my profile you know I am married. So that put me automatically on the defense. He went on to say how I was the one he had been searching for as he had been widowed 3 years.
I looked at his connections and found that there were only a few and they were all women. One was a mutual "friend" of mine. I told this man that I was married and he kept coming back with things like we could get to know each other and live happily for the rest of our lives. "Delete" that was over in a flash.
I sent a message to the one "friend" that we had in common and asked her if she had talked to him. She indeed talks to him regularly and he said the same things to her. Bells were going off at that time and the red flag went up. I then told her that he sounded like a person who was scamming something. Little did I know I was right!
The next day I read an article in "Allure" magazine. It went into detail about romance scammers on the internet who use sites such at Facebook to connect with women or men and worm their way into their hearts and wallets. They scam them out of money.
Today I was approached by another man who fell into the same patterns. He did not come on quickly with the "we were made for each other" tactic. However his responses were not clear and not quick either. In the article in "Allure" they elaborated on how the scammer will use a photo he/she has gotten off the web and use it in their profile. They find a handful of victims and focus on a few. Then they will try to get them to the point where they ask them for money for various reasons.
Here is a link to an article I found on Squidoo that tells more. I hope that none of my friends or family falls for this scam. http://www.squidoo.com/scamsoftheheart
Be safe, be aware.
5 people like this
17 responses
@fishtiger58 (29820)
• Momence, Illinois
13 Dec 15
That is just sick and creepy.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
13 Dec 15
Sadly this is still happening today. I posted this 3 years ago and still have been getting friend requests from these scammers. I don't even acknowledge them. I hope that those that connect with them realize they are predators long before they can do any damage to their emotions and finances.
1 person likes this
@fishtiger58 (29820)
• Momence, Illinois
13 Dec 15
@ElusiveButterfly Must be really lonely people who fall victim to this sort of scam. I can't imagine sending money to anyone but my kids.
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
18 Sep 12
Sadly many do not recover their losses.
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
17 Sep 12
I wish some of these people would just get a legitimate job and quit using others for quick cash. But I bet many are successful....I do know a gal who fell for something like this...he even sent her an engagement ring....and she believed him!!!! She hadn't even met him when she accepted the ring!
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
18 Sep 12
Wow. That was a foolish move on her part. Sometimes we are tricked by the affairs of the heart. We need to listen to our heads and not our heart.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
18 Sep 12
Just like you, I was one of those people that did meet my husband through the internet and we've been together for close to twelve years now. However, before I met my husband I'd met another man that did live locally, but he was one of those scam artists. He was the kind of person that would tell you that he loved you and spend a lot of time with you, but he prayed on women that had little confidence and would work his way into your wallet and rob you blind. I've honestly never recovered from this after thirteen years. It really did ruin all trust that I had for people.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
20 Sep 12
Once bitten twice shy as the saying goes. We need to be aware of those who would use us like a throw rug. But, we also need to realize that there are more people that are good than those who are not.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
16 Sep 12
I have experienced the same for more than a couple of times. These people think that we are so naive to fall into their trap. It really made me mad when these guys started on their "I wanna be with you for the rest of my life" tactic. DUH?!!! Why would I even fall for that? And yes, have checked on their profiles and all they have are women and they do not even have their own pictures on the profile. One I accidentally saw through surfing a picture of an international model and claimed it as him. 
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
17 Sep 12
In the article I read in Allure, there were pics of our military men being used. I encountered one today and began asking him questions that he couldn't answer. Weasel.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
17 Sep 12
These kind of people do not have anything to do and are not doing anything good at all. So they try to look for victims over the internet hoping to extract money from them eventually. The nerve of these people!
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160949)
• United States
16 Sep 12
The world can be a scary place, and some people, instead of feeling warned, would feel foolishly flattered by this kind of approach. I am sure you post is helping others if they have not thought it out for themselves.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
17 Sep 12
I was surprised to see that the woman did not delete him from her list. I tried.
@patgalca (18391)
• Orangeville, Ontario
16 Sep 12
I write on Triond to make a little extra money. I am constantly getting messages from members saying "Hello Dear, I would like to be your friend." It's actually quite creepy to me. I completely ignore those messages and don't even friend back anyone who follows my writing. That's not the nature of Triond, but I have friended back many members and checked out their profiles first. I'm very picky about who I friend back. I don't want to encourage a "relationship". We are there to support each other in our writing. Those creepy messages turn me off.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
17 Sep 12
You are one of the smarter ones. Unfortunately so many fall prey to these predators.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
16 Sep 12
It is very sad what gones on now a days with this. Some of the phishiest emails I get sometimes just alike, about romance or something of the such. I've not had anyone on facebook try to do that thankfully.
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
16 Sep 12
Thanks for this useful information. I had never heard of this ruse and am happy that you were alert so that you were not scammed at all. I will pass this on to my daughter and other young people in my life so that they too are warned. There seems to be no end to these scammers who have no sense of shame
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
17 Sep 12
They take advantage of people. There are men also who fall victim to this as well.
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
16 Sep 12
I have heard of romance scammers! They pour on the charm,reel you in and then run off with your money! These scammers come across as to good to be true and they aren't! All types of people fall for the scamming casanovas!! I personally don't know anyone who has. I know enough not to fall for that crap! I am on Facebook but not any of those other social/dating sites. On Facebook I pick my friends careful. If I don't know you you will not be my friend. If you are a person I know but don't like you are not going to be my friend either! I am one of the smart ones!
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
17 Sep 12
Good for you! I even tried to warn one of my connections and she still chose to keep him as a "friend" despite my warnings.
@bjc66bjc (6730)
• United States
16 Sep 12
Oh yes sthose scammers have been around for a long time it
just that fB is a new connection for them...Thats why I always
said never accept people that you don't as your fiends...
I never understood how aor why people NEED that many friends.
who does that...people can only scam you one when they fall
into the flim flam/scam...by knowing yourself and realizing
there are all kinds of people in the world,,,Never give in to
the unknown and never let greed come into play...
Being safe/aware is a message....
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
17 Sep 12
I have many friends. I actually went through my friend list and found that they are all people I actually know or who are connected or related to those I do know.
@soraya452 (127)
•
16 Sep 12
I've read so much about this type of thing, and I too have been sent friends requests by strange men. But I never accept them. You have to be careful who you trust these days, especially online. You can never be too careful.
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
16 Sep 12
I test the waters when I accept a request, but will quickly delete them if I get bad vibes.
@arielpaige (257)
• United States
16 Sep 12
this is exactly why you should never give money to someone online!! no matter how long you've been talking to them! and even if you know them in real life, if they need money, and you wanna give it to them, don't do it some crazy way online like through Facebook! If my friend needed money, I'd text them, or whatever, and arrange some other way to give them money, not through Facebook, etc, and I would NEVER do it if I didn't personally know the person! Crazy crazy things happening in the world these days.....
And I've had my experience with a creeper trying to sound like we were supposed to be together, and he was from some strange country, barely spoke English, and I blocked him right after the conversation got weird. So, I can understand what it's like to have strangers talk like that. Maybe he was a scammer, I don't know. But it was a few years ago, and it's very possible he could have been..... crazy world these days....
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
16 Sep 12
They often use a cell phone when they talk to you and have technological gadgets to alter their voice. Some use quotes they find on the internet and copy and paste them to chat. They are weasels.
@KrauseHome (36447)
• United States
25 Sep 12
Personally I have been approached by these type of people from time to time as well on there, as well as received SCAMS from other sites out there as well. The problem is they are looking for the LONELY people out there who will fall for these type of things and then strike while the other is not looking and then the other will wonder how they never seen it coming. Personally I wish there was a way to catch them, and make them PAY for their slimy ways.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
30 Sep 12
Some time ago I watched a video about romance scammers on Youtube. It was about a woman from the Singapore who met a man on an online dating site. He told her that he was an American diplomat living in London and they started chatting and exchanging emails. After some time the man asked her to help him transfer some money. The woman had to pay one fee after another, but she was in love in the man and continued to pay the money. She still didn't manage to transfer the money and eventually she realized that something was wrong. she reported it to the police and they found out that the man had lied to her and he was actually a scammer from Nigaria and not a diplomat from London.
The romance scams have become quite common today. Unfortunately many people become victims of those scams. They think that they have found the love of their life but the man that they have found is only in love with their wallet. I get lots of messages from those scammers, but I just delete them.
1 person likes this
@kryptkillor (6)
•
18 Sep 12
Yea i normally accept friends that i know to facebook. Not anyone personally.
