She just wants control that she wont have
By 911Ricki
@911Ricki (13588)
Canada
September 18, 2012 8:53pm CST
I was so annoyed with my Mother, and her behaviour, until I met up with an old coworker and she was asking me. She told me sounds like she wants control, and since she isnt getting it shes trying to ruin everything so you depend on her.
I have a christmas mug that is bigger than the average mug, I make my hot chocolate in it. The other night, I added milk which I dont normally do, and it taste bad, I didnt want to chanse it so I threw it out. Next thing I couldnt find the mug for about 3 or 4 days. She hide it away in a back cupboard, yet its MY mug (seriously I bought it), plus the everything that was in the mug.
She wont let any of us do laundry, making up excuses why we cant do it. When I pack it up to go to the laundry mat she will pry it out of my hands, and scream at me about anything and everything until I get so pissed off listening to her go on about nothing that has to do with me, I tell her to waste her time doing my laundry.
If I'm leaving to go somewhere, they've been asking where I'm going. My Dad make it sound like nothing. Oh did I say you can leave, you cant go to work or something. My Mother needs to know, and if we werent at work, where were we.
But this friend had explained it to me, and she told me to ignore them. They are denial and want control over their kids. Yet, they pretend like they dont.
The other day I asked my brother if he would ask my SIL Dad if he could average a mnortgage for a mobile home $20,000 roughly. Everything changed my parents were trying to be all nice to me.
3 people like this
8 responses
@GardenGerty (160950)
• United States
19 Sep 12
I guess I would put it a little differently. I would say that there are no clear boundaries because you are their child (even though you are an adult) but you are still living under their roof. Mentally they are not able to separate and see you as an independent adult. It amounts to basically the same thing that your friend said, though.
1 person likes this
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
19 Sep 12
That was how my mom was until I moved out. Yep she tried to be nice to keep me there, but I was like I need to grow up and learn things on my own and me being here is keeping me from doing that. Did it change when I moved a little but not a lot she still tries to control my life and even now and I am married and I'm 30 years old. Its kind of aggravating, but I hope one day she will eventually get a clue that I'm on my own I'm married and hello I'm 30, please let me make my own decisions. I know what you're going through. 
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
27 Sep 12
Your mother does sound very controlling. Hiding your mug?? I have four daughters and two of them stay with me 3 or 4 nights a week for different reasons. They do their own laundry and we share on the food. I don't touch their stuff...ever. My little 18 yr old just recently moved to Vegas which is a long long way from where we live. I miss her like crazy but would never ever try to stop her. It's too bad that your mom can't ease up. While being a mom is a way of life and relating to our kids...we are really raising them to be adults. Once they reach that stage, it gets even cooler. Then you can kick back and just be a good friend to them. Your mom should give it a try.
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
27 Sep 12
I agree, she is trying to control all of us, yet is in denial. My younger brother caan get away with murder, but my sister and I cant do anything without getting her permission. I mean we cant wash our clothes, or go somewhere without telling her. In the end none of us will talk to her when we leave, at least I know I wont be.
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
27 Sep 12
my mom was a lot like that and honestly, I looked back and was grateful. Why? She pretty much drove me to get out on my own. I was determined to get out of that house at 18 and I did. Struggle? yep but no regrets at all. I was free and once on my own, she could not tell me what to do. Oh she tried and I did always consider her advice but I had the choice of whether to take it or leave it at that point.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
19 Sep 12
oh Ricki you must get out of there and get that t rai lor the
sooner the better all the way round. Maybe your parents want that
too I do 
not know but think things would be so much better for
you.
not know but think things would be so much better for
you.
@Iriene88 (5343)
• Malaysia
19 Sep 12
Parents should show genuine care or concern towards their children.
Not to imposed control over them, this tend to make their children
violate and react abnormally too. Then the whole thing will upset
the relationship. It will be nice if parents can be like friends to
their children where they can share their thoughts and this will
allow them to trust their parents whenever they need their support
and advise. It is good that your parents have changed now.
@nidakhan001 (305)
•
20 Sep 12
hey
after reading your story it seems like its mine, seems like i don't own my life at all, but i guess they are trying to be over protective like mine and trying to be more caring. It is realy hard for parents to understranf we are big enough to handle things. You better try to let go things because they can not change ever but if you keep on thinking about it you may get frustrated and annoyed, get along with your friends, try to study more, do some research regarding any of your topic of subject. Try to stay calm by avoiding things buddy. you and me stands at the same place.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
20 Sep 12
Your parents might still be seeing you as their little daughter that is why they are still controlling over you. You can ask them to have a talk and tell them what you have in mind about your situation. It might help them understand that you are all grown up and you can decide and do things on your own.
@amycarp417 (9)
• United States
20 Sep 12
I DREAM of the day that my step-son will be have the same desire you do of being able to take care of himself! I think they need to respect that and feel proud of you for being so independent! It's a wonderful feeling to be able to provide for yourself and come and go as you please. They should try to see it that way and stop hindering you from thriving! Good luck!!!
