Would it be a good idea to adopt a child?
By Yanzalong
@yanzalong (18988)
Indonesia
September 20, 2012 9:17am CST
Although many people are married, it doesn't necessarily follow that they want children. I know many married couples in certain countries want children of their own. Some of the people I know well do not have children although they have been married for so many years. They said they wanted to have kids badly.
Do you think adopting a child will give them a solution? Will adopted children have the same attention as biological children? How would they feel when they find out they are just adopted childen?
2 people like this
10 responses
@rappeter13 (8608)
• Romania
24 Sep 12
If a couple cannot have biological children, then I think it is normal for them to adopt them. But I don't know if they can have biological children and even have them, it would be a good idea to have natural and adopted children also. I think that it is very hard not to make the other feel a bit neglected, because it is a natural impulse to love your biological child more than an adopted one. This is a very tough question and I hope I will never encounter this, I want to have my own children, because those would really mine.
@yanzalong (18988)
• Indonesia
25 Sep 12
You are right. Some parents may say they love both adopted and biological children equally. However, in reality, without parents per se knowing it, they do have preference for their biological children. Like you said it was really tough.
@rappeter13 (8608)
• Romania
25 Sep 12
I don't doubt that there are people out there who can equally love both of them, but I could never do this. Of course, I respect people who adopt children, but I couldn't do this, if I could have biological children.
@roshigo58 (4859)
• Pune, India
28 Dec 12
Definitely adopting a child will give them a concrete solution. An orphan gets a good home to live comfortably and good parents to stay with and at the same time life of these couple is colorful, happy because of a child in their life. Once you accept then it is immaterial whether biological or adopted. And if you love them, brought them up as your own child then these children don't mind that they are just adopted children.
@yanzalong (18988)
• Indonesia
29 Dec 12
I think I agree with you 100%. biological or adopted is just the same in terms of happiness, I think.
@Professor2010 (20162)
• India
23 Dec 12
Yes in my opinion if one can't have baby of his/her own for any reason, it is always advisable to go for adoption from some good/known/registered organisation.
One can adopt through some hospital too.
Thanks for sharing.
MERRY S'MAS
Cheers
@yanzalong (18988)
• Indonesia
25 Dec 12
I hear from some friends that adopting a child will bring fortune to your life.I mean adopting a child will not burden you financially.
@ARIES1973 (11426)
• Legaspi, Philippines
21 Sep 12
Hi yanzalong! I think it is a good option if the couple want to baby but were not capable of having their own. Of course for every situation there is an underlying problem but if the couple would have to work together, everything will just be fine.
My sister in law got married at the age of 30 and after several years, they was not able to have their own baby despite having consulted different doctors for help. They decided to adopt a child and so far everything is okay. The baby is already 4 years old already.
@yanzalong (18988)
• Indonesia
24 Sep 12
I heard that adopting a child will make the family have a child of their own later if they are patient and still work at it. Giving alms to the poor will also do the same. That's what I heard from people around me.
@crimsonose80 (283)
• Canada
21 Sep 12
I think it is a good idea to adopt a child..You are helping that person by giving him or her a home and by providing a good, loving family..You will treat them as if they were your own flesh and blood..Giving someone that much attention and love is such a great gift from God..
I feel that you have to be a right place mentally and emotionally before you make this kind of decision..It is a big step for any couples to forgo this kind of decision and at the same time it will be a rewarding one..
I think the adopted child should be able to understand their situation as they get older..
@yanzalong (18988)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 12
Adopting children, especially if we take the child from an orphanage, is highly commendable. I really take my hat off to them.
@jrkirsch75 (72)
• United States
25 Sep 12
In everyone's situation, it is for a different reason, and there are many concepts and different results that would occur.
I myself was adopted along with my biological sister. I had perfectly fine childhood, somehow we did learn that we were adopted, but it didn't really change certain things. Of course, I was the unwanted and I actually heard it being said TO ME. So, you do have to make sure it is what you want. The slightest comment could have some everlasting results on the adopted child.
Many families, have AWESOME experiences and others of course do not. Adopting children is VERY expensive, I know some couples, who want to so bad, but cannot afford to adopt and that is so heartbreaking, because you can see how much LOVE they have to give.
I recommend if you want to adopt, try becoming a foster parent first. It will prepare you on your emotions to someone else's child. I also recommend counseling, joining a group of adopted parents to get insight, and just really pray about it.
@yanzalong (18988)
• Indonesia
25 Sep 12
Thank for the advice my friend. I haven't thought of adopting a child but if there is an orphan aged less than a year and he or she needs caring for, I don't mind adopting them. I have never heard from else where that adopting a child is very expensive.
@kaka135 (14931)
• Malaysia
20 Sep 12
I think it's a good idea to adopt a child. There are many children who need a family, need someone to take care of, if someone wants to have children but don't/can't have their own, adopting the children is really good for the family and also the children, provided the family will treat the doped children good.
It depends on the family whether the adopted children will have the same attention, I believe the parents can do so, if they really love the children. There are no difference between children, especially if the parents bring up the children since they were young. But, I think telling the children that they are adopted is more difficult. I am thinking we shouldn't let them know when they are young, but if they know when they grow older, they may not accept the fact at the beginning, they may feel sad about this. Hence,the parents should really think about this properly before letting the children know.
@yanzalong (18988)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 12
kaka135, I agree with you. We have the same point here. If I were the parent, I would never ever let him or her know that he or she is only an adopted child.
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
20 Sep 12
I have a cousin who adopted a baby girl after 10 years of marriage and haven't got pregnant.
She adopted her husband's niece and loved the girl very much.
And, a miracle happened, after another 10 years (the adopted daughter is already 10 yrs old by that time) my cousin got pregnant.
Now my cousin's own child (a boy) is already 2 years old.
They've decided to tell their daughter about the truth.
The daughter cried of course, but said she loves her parents (my cousin and her husband) and even thankful that she was adopted and well-loved.
She doesn't want to meet her real parents (who lives in a distant province)
I guess that depends on how the parents care and show love with the adopted child.
The connection between the parents and the adopted child matters most.
@yanzalong (18988)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 12
It would have been no problem if they hadn't told the adopted child abouth the truth. I don't see any good point of telling the truth here. Actually they should have told the truth at the beginning, not after they had a baby of their own. It's only my thought, though.
@Bluebelleangel (428)
• Philippines
20 Sep 12
Hi,
For me, it all depends in every situation. If a married couple have no chance at all to become natural parents then they can choose to adopt a child they could rear as their own but if there are even bleak possibilities of having a child, adoption is never always an option. There are things to consider and of course the let downs and frustrations that comes with too much expectations. If the couple believe that they are ready, willing and able to take on the challenge of rearing a child not their own, a child they will love, cherish and treasure then there shouldn't be problem.
We all know that adoption is a serious decision between a married couple and there will be no turning back because a child's life and future is at stake here. This is a big leap for a childless couple that could make or break their family and the life of the adoptive child.
@yanzalong (18988)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 12
I guess you are very right about this, Bluebelleangel. Careful consideration should be made before they adopt a child. My wife's brother has been married for about 10 years and there is no sign of having a child of their own. I have never heard of them planning to adopt a child. Perhaps they never think of doing it.
For me, personally, adoption is acceptable. I had no kids, I would adopt one. It would be much better if there are more people in the house--not just me and my wife.
@MelanieMay (102)
• Philippines
20 Sep 12
For couples who want a child but couldn't bear one, i think adoption would be good for them. Although I think they have to be in the right place, meaning, they both have to agree that adoption would be best for them. I know some friends and kids who have been adopted and they turned out okay. When they found out they were adopted, they were able to accept it pretty well. But I would also have to say that adoption is not for everybody though.
@yanzalong (18988)
• Indonesia
20 Sep 12
Most adopted children think they are their parents' biological children. When they find out later when they grow up, I don't think they accept the fact so easily. It will hurt them in some ways.