The Relationship Among University Classmates
@winniemariposa (255)
China
September 21, 2012 11:42pm CST
Recently, I am always in low spirit because of the complication in classmates relationship. For instance, it really irritates me because no matter when we discuss a problem in groups, my viewpoints and adivce will be ignored throughoutly. That bothers me for a long time, for I do not know why.
Besides that, I always think I do not have common topics with them, so I feel embarassed everytime we stay together. I have read that staying alone all the time will easily lead to be a loner, but I geniunely don't know how to get along with those classmates.
What can I do to change the situation?
3 responses
@BadWolf (37)
• Australia
22 Sep 12
If you don't have common topics then it sounds like there is no real point to fostering a relationship with theses people. Is there a particular reason why you want to be their friend?
I do know that any loneliness you feel now will only be intensified if you try to be friends with people who don't care about you/have nothing in common with you. It's like being alone in a crowd and just frustrating having to wonder why they treat you differently.
My advice would be to find some people you do have something in common with. But if you want these particular people then I would say you will have to make an effort to appease them and force yourself to like what they like. Personally, I would rather be alone then force myself to change for others.
@winniemariposa (255)
• China
22 Sep 12
They are my classmates,so inevitably we have to work together sometimes to finish our homework. It is hard to separate with them completely although I do not have anything to talk to them. When we have to discuss, I can hardly step in the topic. Maybe I am not confident enough to express my thoughts out loud.
@BadWolf (37)
• Australia
22 Sep 12
I thought the problem was that you guys didn't have stuff in common? But I guess if it's just a confidence issue then all you can really do is try and speak up, not a lot of help I know. But on the plus side at least all of life isn't classes. In your other classes do you have any trouble or just this one? because if it's just this one then it may be them and not you.
@winniemariposa (255)
• China
22 Sep 12
Thank you for your advice, I know it is hard for me to integrate into the collective immediately. To some degree, it is a lack of confidence. I beleive that we can develop our confidence in many ways, and I will have a try.
@nancyfancy (61)
• China
28 Sep 12
Actually,we expect more from college classmates.Undeniably,there were really pure friendships.But most people are pursuing their own profits and ignored other people's feeling.Be calm honey,this is a ordinary problem during college life.
@helenworry (71)
•
26 Sep 12
I have the same problem with you.I am not very outgoing and I don't like playing jocks.Sometimes I don't know how to communicate with them ,because they always don't adopt my suggestions.In my opinion, the fist step we can do is to change our character,we need to be more outgoing.Next we need to find the same topics to discuss.I hope we can change our embrassed situation.
@winniemariposa (255)
• China
26 Sep 12
So I believe that it is very important to improve our confidence. If we are confident enough, we can be more outgoing and won't afraid of speaking out loud. I think those self-centered persons will have a lesson to teach them how to be humble one day, and the lesson may be very expensive.
