Attention all men: Is it a macho thing not to visit a doctor immediately?
By vanny
@vandana7 (100531)
India
September 23, 2012 11:41pm CST
I mean ..my father underwent two cataract operations recently..May and July to be precise. Ok?
Then..last week to day his eye became red shot and there was some swelling and some tears dropping as well..
In his situation I would would have rushed to the doctor immediately notwithstanding the fact that the surgeon had mentioned that everything is just fine with his eye and he is progressing well and that next visit should only be after an year. That was in the last week of August.
So last Monday pa's eye was bad, and he did nothing about it. Tuesday he said he felt slightly better. Since I cant know how it feels I presumed he was fine. Wednesday the house was silent..it rarely is. TV is usually on. Thursday he felt perturbed and still didnt go to the doctor. So what does vandy do? Starts nagging. Do you know why women nag? That is why.
Anyway I got yelled at and I cried and still nagged and again yelled at..finally on Saturday he went to the doctor. This time the junior doctor again said everything was fine..(excuse me..he got the best operation package available in the country and still has blurred vision). Anyway, he has given some drops. He thinks its allergy. He wants dad to see the doctor after one month of this eye drops course. So religiously, I am again doing the eye drops routine. Makes me wonder why did it take my father from Monday to Saturday for visiting a physician.
My friend ..the guy with insane sense of humor ..says its macho thing. I wont understand. You bet I didnt. This time it was not anywhere near humor..
What do you think? Do you men also behave like this?
2 people like this
6 responses
@richnai2 (104)
• Thailand
24 Sep 12
Hi my vandy!
I can not talk for your father or other men...only me. As you know I believe in self healing (usually works) but if it came to my eyes I would definitely go to the doctor immediately. I can handle pain quite well but when it comes to losing my sight, no way will I chance it.
@richnai2 (104)
• Thailand
25 Sep 12
My dearest vandy,
Without your love the flowers could never bloom,
The stars would not come out at night,
Everyday would be a rampage of storm and lightning,
And I would sit here, staring at a blank and dim computer screen...
The hard drive frozen for untold millenniums...
But alas, our sacred love could never last...or even begin...
Because at the time of our first and most immanent moment...you would pause...
and say,
Who the hell is Thomas?
LOLOL....you know I love you! Hope your father is doing well!
@dpk262006 (58678)
• Delhi, India
24 Sep 12
Hi Vandy!
I can not understand the concept of so called macho thing that a male does not want to visit a Doctor. If one is ill, he is supposed to go to Doctor else his condition may worsen. Some men are scared of going to a Doctor because they apprehend that another disease may not be detected by the Doctor.
Hope your father is better now. (All you nagging and yelling was in order, as you had no other option).
@vandana7 (100531)
• India
24 Sep 12
I am so glad some men do seem to use their common sense..lol
As to nagging and yelling sequence you got it wrong I think..
First I nagged
Then dad yelled
Then I cried
Then he yelled
Then after some time I again nagged
then again dad yelled
Life goes on...lol
@dpk262006 (58678)
• Delhi, India
24 Sep 12
Thanks for correcting me (I thought you did all the nagging and yelling
)
)
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
24 Sep 12
#vandana:
if at all I had a teacher who could explain me the way you did here...
@maygodblessu44 (7336)
• India
9 Oct 12
Hello my friend vandana7 Ji,
Well, my both eyes under went similar cataract operations in the year 2002 and 2003 respectively and till date no such problems. Same Doctor operated similatr operations for my hubby's elder brother and his wife (both eyes) They never had any such problems. In Feb 2012, my hubby underwent similar operation by same Doctor and my hubby has not reported any such things, I think you must take your father to some other Doctor immediatelt, before it turns to any un-toward thing. Eyes should be taken serious. Please overlook taht joke by your friend.
May God bless You and have a great time 
@vandana7 (100531)
• India
9 Oct 12
My father is very very tough to talk to MGB. :) If I say lets do this, he wont unless he wants to. He is capable of making a big noise about it, shouting and all that (I join the show at such times), or just ignoring suggestions. He is 78 and I often tell him he is lucky he doesnt have a son. If he had one, the daughter in law would have tied him and dumped him in a room. lol. Well, that is how tough it is to tackle him..hope you are getting the picture.
He doesnt listen. He was alarmed a few days later and he went. Doctor gave him some medication. I regularly administer it. Two more weeks to go. My question is, he ia a grown up. He knows he has been recently operated. If there is any problem he should be consulting the surgeon. Isn't it? If he was my child it would not have been an issue. He is my father, if I dominate him, it looks and feels bad culturally. At such times I do turn to a few friends seeking their advice because my blood pressure starts playing havoc. My friend merely tried to calm me I suppose.
It took this old man 3 days (2.5 days) to go to doctor. He now says the sight is not as good as it was on the day I was operated. lol
@Fulltank (2882)
• Philippines
24 Sep 12
Nope, not at all. But most men I knew (including me) sometimes tend to behave like it. I think its because men will intend not to go to the doctor unless we cannot endure the pain anymore. i considered it as an stereotype thing when men does this. Not considering the fact that its the people around them are getting more tense in seeing them suffering.
@vandana7 (100531)
• India
24 Sep 12
You said it.."unless we cannot endure the pain anymore"..meaning it is the macho thing..
Yes, it is true, we get so worked up. He is 78. He still doesnt want to leave his two wheeler. Imagine going on two wheeler in Indian traffic with impaired vision. When he does not return by five I start getting nervous imagining all sorts of things. Yesterday he went for sugar test in the morning. It took him an hour to be called in so much was the rush. And I felt he must be in some accident or something. I got so worked up that my maid eventually suggested that I call him up and ask him to get some chillies for cooking. If I call him up otherwise he can yell even from the diagnostic center and might do anything rash if I ask how he is. That bad. lol
But honestly, it is natural for us to get worried. Do you also yell at your loved ones who feel concerned about you?
Yes, it is true, we get so worked up. He is 78. He still doesnt want to leave his two wheeler. Imagine going on two wheeler in Indian traffic with impaired vision. When he does not return by five I start getting nervous imagining all sorts of things. Yesterday he went for sugar test in the morning. It took him an hour to be called in so much was the rush. And I felt he must be in some accident or something. I got so worked up that my maid eventually suggested that I call him up and ask him to get some chillies for cooking. If I call him up otherwise he can yell even from the diagnostic center and might do anything rash if I ask how he is. That bad. lol
But honestly, it is natural for us to get worried. Do you also yell at your loved ones who feel concerned about you?
@urbandekay (18278)
•
24 Sep 12
"unless we cannot endure the pain anymore"..meaning it is the macho thing
Actually, it implies stoicism not machismo
all the best urban
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
24 Sep 12
Hi vandana
Not a macho thing but I can see a connection...
Gradually you start believing that doctors in India are there for money only not for their patients and if you have internet and do a lot of reading you start to believe(and also many a times it is correct too) that you know more than your doctors... (some confident might relate this confidence with machoism).
But yes, after the surgery, your pa should not have waited for so long as it is not before 6 months that the eyes get completely well after the cataract surgery (at least this is what doctors told my brother's mil when she had this surgery).
).
But yes, after the surgery, your pa should not have waited for so long as it is not before 6 months that the eyes get completely well after the cataract surgery (at least this is what doctors told my brother's mil when she had this surgery).@vandana7 (100531)
• India
24 Sep 12
the sids ..I opted for best package do you know why? I thought there is only two of us. I can also die before him. So if I am no more, he should be able to walk up to the loo instead of others grumbling at him if he has to be looked after. At 78 luckily he still can get it done right. At 88 it will be difficult to get it right, right? So best package it had to be. And here he is, not going to the doctor. He simply doesnt understand these concerns sids. It gets on my nerves so much. I dont know if I am dominating or not. But I do think I am right 90 percent of the time.
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
24 Sep 12
I have a very sad haunting story here. My late grandfather will not go to see the doctors when I felt he should have. And by the time he agreed, the next morning never came. This is only regret that I have in my past life that I could not get him to the doctors when there was time.
I am happy that you could and you did. But dear, we are all humans and we all have some ego- we never care to see what bad can happen because we are not accustomed to seeing the bad and ugly only until it happens. Maybe Pa too never felt similar that his delaying might worsen the situation and probably even now as nothing much severe happened, he believes the same and hence you get more chances to yell and he gets his chances...
I dont know about all the other 90% but I am sure that you are right here... health is important and one should not neglect it
