Have you found yourself.??? ....What does this exactly mean?
By apsara60
@apsara60 (6610)
Israel
September 24, 2012 3:32am CST
Hi friends....
I have been hearing these words a lot now a days. People say, we have to go out in the world to find ourselves....what does this mean.....I got educated, I got married, I had children , I brought up my children, they are big now and can look after themselves.... and I am still a working women continuing with my job.....so have I found myself....lol.....but I was never lost, so how to find myself.....:)) just joking....but seriously can someone tell me what exactly means "to find oneself" How will I know that I have found myself.
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8 responses
@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
24 Sep 12
Hi aps!
Good post!
I understand that 'to find oneself' has some philosophical meaning. It would broadly mean to understand your own self and nature and to understand your sub-conscious mind.
Our sub conscious mind is store house of all the information and experiences which we gather through out our life. We need to know where we are ultimately heading. Are we heading towards the God, who is the supreme power or we are just caught in this worldly affairs (moh maya).
We need to understand that our spirits are entrapped in our bodies and we just have to find that. Our body is not even our own, it is a God's gift to us and our body structure keeps changing every year.
When we would 'come to know' our inner-self, all worldly affairs/things will become inconsequential for us. I know it is easier said than done, yet we need to 'find ourselves'.
One of the best way to find ourselves is 'meditation'. When we mediate we go inside us and gradually tune our mind to a situation called 'thoughtlessness' (when no thoughts are coming).
You could try doing the meditation and see the results yourself.
All the best.
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@apsara60 (6610)
• Israel
25 Sep 12
Hello Deepak,
Your reply is something that I have been reading and hearing from many people. But for me it is very complicated to understand how to look at my inner-self. when I try to look inside me I can only look inside my clothes where I don't see anything new or to see inside my skin at different organs, which I don't even want to see.. I can never meditate as I am always restless and cannot free my mind from thinking. One of the preachers of meditation said that one can be happy if he does not worry about anything as nothing is yours , everything is passing phase and will leave you one day and go away. It is easy to say, but when we are bound with our family and children with love and emotions, then it is not easy to accept this fact. This preacher is an unmarried lady so I don't think she understands what are emotional attachments that make a strong family and why a mother is always worried about her children. Right
Thanks for your reply and have a nice day.
@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
25 Sep 12
I knew that it was going to be a complicated response/suggestions.
You know which clothes you are wearing. You know about your physic and body. You have to look inside you - and you need to ask 'who you are' and 'what for you are here in this world'. (Hope am sounding like a Preacher)
As you mediate thoughts will surely come in your mind (including worries). You can not stop those thoughts from entering your mind. Initially, these thoughts will disturb you, however gradually (with practice) you may reach a situation of 'thoughtlessness'. You need a quite and calm place to mediate, where there is no disturbance. In the early morning hours when each one is sleeping you could 'mediate', if possible (say on a holiday).
It is true - everything is a 'passing phase' and time runs so fast that you never come to know how soon a day has ended. Like-wise everything will pass and we will become old..............lol!
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@autumndreamer (3185)
• Philippines
25 Sep 12
You have found yourself once you have finally realized what it is you want to do and become in your life. What is your job? Do you enjoy it? Do you love doing it? Has it ever came into your mind that you desire other job or career? Are you fulfilling you passion and interests? Do you see yourself doing what you're doing now in a lifetime? Based on what you said, I think there was no need for you to find yourself since you said yourself that you were never lost. I am having that problem. I don't know what to do with my life. I don't know where I am going. I actually don't know what I am going to do next after college graduation or if I am ever going to graduate. I don't know where I should be and what's my place in the world. That's what means I am still finding myself until now.
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@apsara60 (6610)
• Israel
27 Sep 12
hello autumndreamer, It is good that you don't know yet what you have to do, because this means you still have chance to think and decide and make right choices. As for me I am what other people made me. Even my marriage was not my own decision and I did not mind it until I was 40 plus and mother of two children. as I was not intellegent and mature when I was of your age. Now if I think about what I wanted in life.....I cannot go back...I have played my cards....hope will have better chance in next life to find myself.
@apsara60 (6610)
• Israel
30 Sep 12
Hello autumndreamer, what I meant to say is that you know, we grow fast physically, but we mature slowly with age. It is always good to take decisions when you are matured and understanding.Look at me now....I keep blaming others, but if I had taken decisions myself,I would not regret so much as it would have been my own mistakes.
As about what I wanted..., I wanted a taller husband...(but my this hubby is very good natured, even if not very tall) I wanted a career (but I am doing some kind of job and I am quiet comfortable with it) I wanted lot of money (well I am now in big debt, but money is common problem)...so I think you are right , I should not complain. . I wish you best of luck and I am sure you will soon achieve your goals. Thanks.
@autumndreamer (3185)
• Philippines
27 Sep 12
I don't think it's good that I'm still finding myself. I think this is a really long journey. I don't want to find that something that's missing when I am already old. I want to know what it is now why I am still young so that I can pursue it. I feel like you don't have regrets in the things you've done in your life and in the path you went. I feel happy for you because it seems like there's nothing else missing in your life even when you said you now thought about it. Can I ask you, what is it really you wanted in your life if you're not what you are today?
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@apsara60 (6610)
• Israel
25 Sep 12
hi kalav56,
How are you. As per your reply, I think I am still far from finding myself. In fact I never lived for myself till today.....I am just living for others and only that keeps me happy but also worried all the time. No I am not bored at all because I have no time to be bored......always busy..but still I am confused....don't feel that I exactly know what I want.. Thanks for your reply.
@kedralynn (980)
• United States
25 Sep 12
It's good that you are content and was never really lost to begin with! Wish I could say the same. I was horribly lost growing up. I was diagnosed as being bipolar but really had no idea what that meant for me. I made a lot of bad choices and did some things I'm not proud of. Somewhere along the way, I figured out how to handle my condition and set my life on a better path. And I suppose that means I found myself. Tho at 29, I consider myself still a work in progress ;)
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@apsara60 (6610)
• Israel
25 Sep 12
Dear kedralynn, I did feel sorry to hear about the sad side of your life, but I feel proud of you now to see you as a brave girl who fought her weakness and is now guiding her life to the right direction. Every one makes some wrong choices in life, but to accept our mistakes and correct them is something that you did. I think you are right when you say that you have found yourself. That really gives me some idea about what finding oneself is. I wish you all the best for future and may you be always happy for rest of your life.
Thanks for sharing and participating and helping me. Have a nice day.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
24 Sep 12
I guess, when there comes a point in your life that you are already contented and happy, it's that time when you can say that.
Me, i finally found myself just after being married to my husband for 16 years.. My husband and i had a big problem and that's was the time when we talked over what we both want with our married life and was able to be finally "married" in the real sense of the word.
I found out from my husband and child that they just like a simple life with some comforts. Thus, i went down to that and found out that indeed one can be happy even when life is simple. What is important is that the family is intact and comfortable.
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@apsara60 (6610)
• Israel
24 Sep 12
Hello SIMPLYD....I am really happy for you.....but as for me...
I think I cannot say that I am content and happy, because I am always worried, worried about my children even though they are fine....I just cannot stop worrying. Besides I do have financial problems too.....Big ones
and the most important, family intact is missing now a days as children have changed attitude now that they are big........internally I am very much disturbed, so this means I surely have not found myself yet....
Simplyd...I think I am understanding the meaning now.....we can say we have found ourselves when we are content at heart with no worries on mind....right..... though I am far from it , but now at least I will work in right direction to achieve this.......thanks a lot.
@apsara60 (6610)
• Israel
24 Sep 12
You have guessed right friend, the bitter fact that you and your husband have digested is becoming difficult for me to swallow... the day I will learn to live happily in my own world, I think I will find myself...but don't know when that will happen..... Thanks again dear and have a nice day.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
24 Sep 12
We have one child and she's 22 now, studying medicine in Manila. She would come home when it's vacation.
Though the semestral break will be next month, as early as now she told us she can't come home because they have activities for the student council so she has to be always on call there.
Fine, i have come to terms with that already. I do feel lonely about it, but have to accept it that a few more years and she may finally leave us to have her own job there. So, me and my husband just have to be content of speaking to her on skype or the cellphone.
We don't want to be saddened by that. I think we are just readying ourselves now. And that is what we call, "we have finally found ourselves".
As to financial problems, we do have some too, but with God's help we overcome it.
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@invictus_bart (6)
•
25 Sep 12
To find oneself is to attain True happiness is found when yourspiritual needs are accomplished.It is not based on wealth or power.it is based on your moral and social responsibilities.
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@apsara60 (6610)
• Israel
25 Sep 12
Hello invictus_bart........I agree with you that achieving true happiness is based on our moral and social responsibilities and that includes our responsibility towards our family, our children and obviously if they are happy then we are.This is the reason why I am always worried. We are worried about people whom we love and our happiness is depended on their happiness and that is why it is a long way till we find ourself happy and content.....so I just hope that some day I will be able to say that yes I have found myself.Thanks for your nice reply.
@biztech101 (78)
• Malaysia
24 Sep 12
Hello aspara..
I think that the meaning of finding yourself is..
finding your own identity..
this is because how could you find your another self(duhhh)
your identity is an important characteristics for yourself..
without it you are no one..
when you found it..anything will be possible as you know what you want..not because of other people..it is for yourself
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@apsara60 (6610)
• Israel
24 Sep 12
Hello biztech... Yes I think I have started to understand the meaning. It is like when you stand in the crowd and if someone calls your name you know it is you. Similarly when you are known to the world with your own separate characters and personality,you can say that you have made your place in this world.
Thanks for your help and reply.
@iBizkut (80)
• United States
24 Sep 12
To learn what our purpose is in life. To learn what our skills are. To learn our emotions and how we feel about life. To be lost and not found ourselves is that feeling we have no purpose in the world.
Sounds like you did. Got married and had children. Now you're still working you have a purpose if you feel like you do(:
I'm still in the lost process I'm married and have children but my career hasn't taken off because I have many skills but I don't know if they fit for a career that I can carry on :P
Hope this helped(:
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@apsara60 (6610)
• Israel
24 Sep 12
Thanks iBizkut for trying to help me. I do understand you. But we don't come to this world with our own wish.....so who sets our purpose....how will we know our purpose, we are just taking the life as it comes....it is confusing.....anyway.......I wish you best of luck with your career and hope you will get what you want and then you will also feel that you have found yourself.... Thanks for your reply.