Friends who only exist if they needed something from you.
By jaraan
@jaraan (193)
Philippines
September 24, 2012 3:57am CST
I do have a lot of friends who only exist if they needed something from me. I don't know if I can still call them friends or just ignore them. When I was sick and when there are times I needed them the most they just ignored me and some make different reasons not helping out.
A few years ago I had this financial dilemma paying huge amount of money paying my Son's hospital bill and the business is also in to a downfall and a lot of my friends are keeping away from me. Fortunately this year has been good to me and regained my business back, paid my bank debts, gained new friends and some of my old friends now appears!
Speaking about my old friends, Do you think that I can still call them friends?
1 person likes this
19 responses
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
24 Sep 12
Actually, there are also relatives who sometimes just show up or call you whenever they need something from you. I mean, I really hate it most especially when it is already late at night and I am being rushed to do the favor. Sometimes it hurts me coz this particular relative is just constantly asking help for his son. I don't have issues in helping others. What I hate about her is when I try to call her on her cellphone or text her and ask something, she doesn't return my call or reply back.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
25 Sep 12
You can actually say no to anyone. But sometimes, maybe because of my nature, I provide help in any way I can possible most especially when it comes to the needs of the kids. I know that my relative who keeps on asking favors for his son is really not capable of helping his son with his school work.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
25 Sep 12
My sister in law and I would often refer that relative as "USER-friendly". ![](/Content/images/emotes/lol.gif)
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@Canellita (12029)
• United States
30 Oct 12
There are many different kinds of friends. Only people who support you when you have difficulty are true friends. The other people you describe are not really friends; you can call them casual acquaintances, people whom you know, people who used to be your friends, but true friends stand by you at difficult times, even if only to inquire how you are and wish you well.
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@Canellita (12029)
• United States
31 Oct 12
Congratulations on your new career! You'll be meeting all manner of new people now. Do you go to networking events with other agents?
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@Cutie18f (9551)
• Philippines
11 Nov 12
They are called "fair weather" friends and I'd rather not have any friend than have many who only come to me when I'm well. These are opportunists and I don't want their friendship. In order to avoid being a hypocrite, I would rather not entertain them at all and give them a dose of their own medicine. Ignore them.
@ardoy0731 (7308)
• Philippines
24 Sep 12
There are lots of people like that.
Some friends and even relatives act like that, they are with you when they needed something or need you yet they are fone when we are in need.They are some who say things against you in your back yet so nice when they are with you.
It is really easy to know and gain friends yet true friends are really ahed to find and keep especially that will be a friend now matter what happened.
@ARIES1973 (11426)
• Legaspi, Philippines
24 Sep 12
Hi jaraan! We cannot really control how other people would react on our situation. They can do anything without considering our feelings. They can decide if they are willing to help us in times of need or not, and we cannot do about it. They can change their attitudes and characters all of a sudden, we have no control over them.
But we have control over ourselves. We can do what we want. We can do what pleases us. So my advice is for you to weigh things for yourself. Think which decision would make you happy. Whatever it is, they cannot do anything also. If you think that their chance of showing you the true friend in them is over, then, you can decide not to accept them anymore.
Have a nice day!
@Raine38 (12250)
• United States
24 Sep 12
They can hardly be called as friends, given their track record. You will be far off better without these kind of people in your life. It's nice to hear that you are finally back on your feet now, and it is even more nice that you have found some new, real friends.
@jaraan (193)
• Philippines
25 Sep 12
Yes, I'm back on track. I hope this will keep on for long now because I do have some issues about my health too and Hospital fees are too expensive.. I earned some new friends now but surely some of them are also like the old ones. Too early to know at the moment.
@liguoping (179)
•
25 Sep 12
I have two "friends" like you mentioned above,but i have left them,in fact they are not my friends,in my opinion,as for friends,we should help each other actively,especially when in danger or destitute,we can help each other actively,but the fact is just on the contrary,when they need help,they asked me to help,but when i wanted to borrow a little money from them,they refused euphemistically,and i know they had money at that time,and my request is no problem for them,so i left them from then on.so i think you should left your "friends",just as what i did.
@nhieleiko (109)
• Philippines
25 Sep 12
Based on your story, I don't think that they can be called friends. They are just user-friendly. If they need something that you can give them, then, that is the time they act as a friend. I have some user-friends too. Well, we cannot judge them personally because it feels like we are the ones who will be negative.
@babyeve (1048)
• Seychelles
25 Sep 12
Yes I must admit that these kind of friends thinks that they just come and go in your life as if the own you. I call them 'Friends of good times'. When you are sick it's the only time you can identify true friends. When you tell them that you don't have cash when they asked you go out with them, they simply say OK. But when you ask them to go out, they expect you say 'It's OK, it's my treat'. Hell no!!! Much more, some of them when they see you traveling, they all come back to you and treat you as a princess or prince. What a shame!!!
Jaraan, please don't call them friends, because they do not deserve it.
@MelanieMay (102)
• Philippines
24 Sep 12
Well, friends are supposed to be one of the things in life that makes you feel good. And if you can still call those old friends of yours "friends" and feel good at the same time, then I suggest you continue and nurture your friendship. If they make you feel resentful that they didn't help you out when you needed them, then maybe it's time to avoid them. Either way, the most important thing to consider is how you feel about it. :)
@jaraan (193)
• Philippines
24 Sep 12
Avoiding them, I just did a couple of hours ago.. and I felt really good about it.. Now is the time to ignore them and focus on families and friends who truly loves me unconditionally.
Really, I feel better turning them down now.. I guess this is my time now. LOL. I just want them how it feels.
@quanquanzhang (504)
• China
24 Sep 12
if i were you,i could't still call them friends,being friends,we need to help each others,inculd material and spiritual,we make friends because it make us happy,if it make you trouble,i think there is no need to make friends with them.
@BadWolf (37)
• Australia
24 Sep 12
I would say not. Friends are supposed to be there when you need them. I had people like that and I just got rid of them, amazing how much you realize you don't need them once thier gone. If you now have better friends I would just stick with them.
This also reminds me of that class of friend that you get who only care as long as its all about them. They annoy me so much, everytime you talk to them the conversation has to be about them or they just get bored and stop listening.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
24 Sep 12
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@lifes97 (884)
• United Arab Emirates
25 Sep 12
hi there, do you treally thing that those are friends, i think since you ask this question that means you knwo its answer and you do not like the answer i guess, am i right, i mean friends will always be with you not only at the time they needs soemthing and then disappear and i think in this time there is no close people or friends for real i mean maybe some good people but real friends there are not and not sure why that is happening in these days really not nice things not
@vidhyaprakash_2 (7116)
• India
24 Sep 12
Hi friend, this kind of fake friends are quite common to every one, this kind of persons are not deserved for our friendship, just keep distance from them. We can find our real friend while we are in trouble
@iBizkut (80)
• United States
25 Sep 12
Ugh no. Those people are not you're friends. Even if they couldn't help you they should have been there as support for you and helped find you some kind of program that could have helped. But since they just up and disappeared means they are just associates. They seem like they take more than they can give. Especially since you have a child you shouldn't be around people like that. Forget and let them go(:
@gtashok (6)
• India
25 Sep 12
Yes, this is very true. I too have come across friends who are actually opportunists. They cannot be called friends. Only a true friend will accept you for what you are and stand by you at all times. Friends who disppear when you really need them cannot be friends at all. This is true with some relatives, too. There is a saying that goes something like - "in prosperity your friends know you and in adversity, you know your friends." So the real test of friendship is in adversity. But as we know, this world is full of all types of people and we need to just move on even though it hurts a lot at times.
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