Remarriage and female infanticide amongst Hindus..
By vanny
@vandana7 (100638)
India
September 24, 2012 7:44am CST
I am told the Hindu population in Pakistan has come down and so has it come down in India. I am also told that the muslim population has increased. I have a few reasons of my own which I would like to discuss.
We Hindus are not as open to remarrying - whether a widow or divorcee. Muslims marry them as second or third wife. Effectively the woman may have a child if she is in the fertile age group. The idea may be to offer her protection. But amongst Hindus it is something of a "respectability" for which we prevent our elders from remarrying. As if they dont get lonely and as if they dont need a life of their own. The primary idea behind this is of coursse saving the inheritance and ensuring fewer disputes in future. But it comes at the cost of loneliness of a loved one. How many of you all thought about that? Is it not selfishness?
Second thing is female infanticide. When there are fewer girls, men are running out of partners. Obviously, number of Hindu children would also dwindle drastically. Agreed that female infanticides are because of dowry problem. Parents fear arranging for the hefty dowries in their communities and bringing the girl up with strict old fashioned social norms. But it has helped our numbers to dwindle drastically.
So why do we blame Muslims? Or Pakistanis, when we are so selfish?
1 person likes this
17 responses
@Naseem00 (1996)
• Pakistan
25 Sep 12
I think remarriage is nowadays taking place among Hindus and perhaps the more educated classes are adopting this more than the less educated or poor classes. As for female infanticide, this is a problem which can only be overcome by educating the masses and also bringing upon cultural changes like discouraging dowry. I don't think either Hindus or Muslims should put the blame on others for their own wrong doings.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (100638)
• India
25 Sep 12
Yes I so very agree with you. There are politicians who incite hatred against the other religion saying these people were only xxxxx percent at the time of independence, and are now almot 10 or 20 more than that. And they feel it is because muslims can have more than one wife, and because Islam prohibits family planning. In the process they are asking Hindus to have more children and not accept any population control measures. Because of such call from Hindu extremists the muslim priests are also asking their people to have more kids. Nobody is concerned about the child's welfare, women's health, lack of job openings, and bleak future for children and elderly. All they are concerned about is the numbers of their religious members because that is vote bank..:( I wonder how they get the numbers of Hindus in Pakistan..lol. I would suspect such data very much. And many factors affect such data. Just as somebody pointed out people get educated and prefer to have a fewer kids, or move out of the country. Naseem it is such a pleasure interacting with non-fanatic muslim. If you are indeed the face of modern Pakistan, then we do have a way to be at peace with each other somewhere in future. God bless you.
@max8019 (15)
• India
24 Sep 12
Hi there, As you have said that its among the hindus, but its among all the Indians. But this practice has been discouraging because the government has declared it a crime. There are myths that a boy is an asset and a girl is a liability but its not true because now a days, girls are also doing all those works that a boy can do.
"Prevent These Social Evils and be A good INDIAN"
1 person likes this
@urbandekay (18278)
•
25 Sep 12
I am grieved to her female infanticide is a problem there. It is a little horrifying
all the best urban
all the best, urban@urbandekay (18278)
•
26 Sep 12
We all are; all cultures have there weak and strong points and that is why a free and frank exchange of views is of benefit. Each culture has something to teach and each something to learn.
all the best urban
@dpk262006 (58678)
• Delhi, India
24 Sep 12
Hi!
You should be offered the followings posts in Govt. based on your concerns and perceptions:
a) Women and child development Minister
b) Health & Family welfare Minister
c) Registrar General Census
d) Chairman, Minority Commission
Please check the latest census figures. hold the view that Muslims are still in Minority in India even if remarriage or polygamy is allowed in their religion.
Female infanticide is a serious problem and all need to work in this direction.
It affects the gender ratio adverserly and affects the entire generation in the long run.
@dpk262006 (58678)
• Delhi, India
24 Sep 12
pl read the as follows:
you could be one of the following :
.....
And
I hold the view ......
@vandana7 (100638)
• India
25 Sep 12
Deepu..:) Yeah Muslims are still minorities notwithstanding their multiple partners. But the concern that parties like BJP are showing since last decade or so about the variation in ratio since independence makes me wonder whether they have gone senile? Nobody is showing concerns about the child's future, women's health, or possible lack of jobs and even partners. Both Hindus and Muslims are competing even when population numbers are so high. There was a call by Vishwa Hindu Parishad's activist a few years ago asking Hindus to increase their numbers..made me think following religion without actually remembering that our gods didnt have more than 3 kids is actually a different agenda and not Hinduism.
@dupremo...I am honored that you should think so highly of me. :)
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
24 Sep 12
It is not much about religions. It is about our outlook. Even many divorced or widows dont want to remarry. That is another fact. Our laws here are flawed too - we have a divide on Hindu Marriage Act and Muslim Marriage act. When we accept more than one wife as legal for muslims we dont accept it as a legit thing as per Hindu religion. I am against this no doubt - we must have one law for all in our country.
As for female infanticide... it is deep rooted in the older segment - the orthodox ones who still believe that a male child is a must in any family. We need tutoring them and helping them come out of their shell.
I dont blame anyone but ourself... quite unlike an Indian trait where we keep blaming others even for our faults.
@Jatelo2 (166)
• Nairobi, Kenya
24 Sep 12
I must say this is an insight into the Hindu religion. I didn't know that you guys are strict Monogamous. Anyway remarriage after being left a widow at childbearing age is a recommended Christian practice.
@vandana7 (100638)
• India
25 Sep 12
Jatelo...I have to admit that dupremo has some point here..such practices are common in more uneducated and old fashioned Hindus who have been left out of the metros. Trust me however that it is a pretty huge section of population to cause concerns. Yes, women do need to be protected in some ways. So what if she is married, or divorced.
@dupremo..perhaps you could cite which Hindu remarriage of ancient times you were referring to other than the many wives Lord Sri Krishna took? We went in for monogamous system thereafter, havent we, notwithstanding our original system. And now we want Muslims to follow the suit. I find it strange that even withoug monogamous practices Pakistan is not bursting at seams with population nor is Bangladesh or for that matter many of the muslim nations. Whereas, our country is. This is essentially a competition between the two religions CULTIVATED BY THE POLITICIANS FOR ENSURING THEIR SURVIVAL.
@vandana7 (100638)
• India
25 Sep 12
@dupremo..I did not visit Pakistan, Bangladesh, or many other nations. I am also NOT INTERESTED in what UN, AI, and RC have to say.
In the kind of population we have the number of female infanticides and dowry deaths is certain a whole lot more staggering than what is happening elsewhere in the world. I am not open to diverting my attention to others problems.
It is like if my leg breaks, and I should be looking at another person's head being broken and feeling happy ..hey mine is only leg break, it is his skull that broke. Both things need equal attention I think. What I can address is my leg break and not others skull because this pains me, isn't it? :)
Dupremo..pls..even Ravan did not force himself. If he had, Sita would not have remained pure. There is difference between marrying a divorcee, marrying a widow, and marrying a woman who already has a protector. Even Sugreev marrying his brother's widow was a thing that came a bit closer to contempt and could not be called conventional widow remarriage because there is something of an incestuous stuff there.
@vandana7 (100638)
• India
25 Sep 12
"Its you and your community isn't supporting remarriage, it is doing female infanticide, it is supporting dowry, and them you claim you are Hindu. Your claim don't make you a Hindu neither this mean every Hindu is like you. Just for getting support from Jihadis, your abuse isn't going to stop."
So ..if my community is not supporting remarriage and opting for female infanticide and supporting dowry ...why is it still allowed to fill in applications as a Hindu. It should be banned from calling itself Hindu, right? :)
And honestly Dupremo..I never used the word Jihadis up there you brought it up.
I was merely saying we have bad customs we need to stop them. They are not there in our scriptures. Why do we let them become part of our customs? Surely if something is wrong and is becoming a practice of our religion, we need to keep it at bay? Your family is not the sole representative of Hinduism, and nor is mine. We are looking at things across the board. Right? Like not every muslim is a terrorist or Jihadi. :)
@maidangela7349 (1191)
•
25 Sep 12
Why is this under the religion section surely this is a cultural problem and of course it is a problem
@grandpa_lash (5225)
• Australia
26 Sep 12
Actually maidangela, anthropology considers religion to be the primary driving force in most cultures at one point or another, and in some contemporary cultures it is still the primary driver. It is religious prescriptions which underpin these practices.
Lash
@maidangela7349 (1191)
•
25 Sep 12
Why is this under the religion section surely this is a cultural problem and of course it is a problem
@cowboyofhell (3063)
• Philippines
24 Sep 12
It may be true that Muslim population increases but there's something of a negative effect in population growth. Now if the Hindus follow the case of Muslims, the question is if they can meet the growing needs of a bigger population.
@vandana7 (100638)
• India
25 Sep 12
You bring a nice point to the table. Strangely despite having been polygamous, muslim nations are not exploding at seams. The reason? There is no competition. Out here, it is competition. We need to outnumber them, so we have to have more numbers. lol. That is the attitude.
I agree that population will increase if such things undergo changes. But this you will agree with me is not a human way to reduce population, right?
@ravisivan (14079)
• India
24 Sep 12
One of the reasons for decline of Hindu population percentage -- literacy, desire to maintain the standard of living or improved living standards. Among other religions they do say abortion is a sin and hence more child birth and increased population. No politician dares to talk about this. Already there are problems based on movies also.
Remarriage among Hindus after being widowed or divorced is very much practised even today. Female infanticide is more among illiterates due to poverty and economic reasons.
Basically all the people are good. all of us should take responsibility for whatever we are doing. No one can make one unhappy if the person determines to be happy.
@vandana7 (100638)
• India
28 Sep 12
I on the other hand think politics and religion should be discussed out here. So that if there are any inconsistencies in statements of politicians and religious heads which others may not have realized are out here in open and we are not made fools again and again.
@ravisivan (14079)
• India
25 Sep 12
Vandana:
thanks for your lengthy reply. It is better not to discuss about politics and religion and especially comparing people of different religions.
My view -- thank god I have not been exposed to vagaries of Nature and life-- all the people are good. We should accept responsibility for what we are.
@rambansal (574)
• India
24 Sep 12
When population has risen to explosive state, a lower population for any reason is welcome and a rise in population is damaging interests of humanity.
Your point of remarriage is valid, but Hindu marriage act and social bias unfavorable to divorce of warring spouses and against remarriages are few problems which need be tackled. Indeed I am one suffering from these. Still I am looking for a partner though I can't marry for my inability to get the divorce I need. Going in for a live-in arrangement or an open relationship with some are my options but even these are almost impossible in our conservative society. I am also open for exporting myself for this purpose.
@vandana7 (100638)
• India
25 Sep 12
Ram Bansal ji, now live in relationship is also recognized in the country. So where is the hitch?
Yes, it is an issue that the Hindu leaders do need to look into.
As to lowering of population by preventing widow or divorcee remarriages is something I dont accept, nor do I accept that female infanticide is the right way to go about it.
It affects all of the women. Lack of women has increased lecherous behavior and led to more daring molestations of women in the country. If female infanticides continue, we might soon see a society when brothers share one wife, or there are rapes in every household. No..that is not the way I want it at all. It is a vicious cycle actually..when dowry becomes a big problem, family kills the daughter, in the process the women folk become difficult to protect and so more female children are killed. Poor are the worst sufferers.
@ravisivan (14079)
• India
24 Sep 12
yes. it is there more prevalent in certain pockets of the country among poor and illiterate people. government is taking steps to bring it down.
@samar54 (2454)
• Egypt
24 Sep 12
How parents kill their daughters? .. Muhammad, peace be upon him have spent on this inhumane practice, which was prevalent before he became a messenger of God to mankind .
In the twenty-first century there are still places in the world bury their daughters alive? ? God guide them
@Kashidanga1971 (1354)
• Bangladesh
24 Sep 12
The people who we are from third world countries are to live in a poisonous and unhealthy environment in which a male embryo in the womb cant tolerate and cant survive. As a result number of females are increasing more than males. Such kind of situation was in the pre-islamic age in middle east people in when would bury their female girls alive. Hazrat Muhammad(pbh) had stoped that crime and introduce polygamy to rehabilitate the excess number of women.
The number of females are increasing in my country too. Time was, I heard, when man would have to give dowry to woman. Due to inability to afford the dowry man would not get married and remain ever unmarried. But the situation is opposite. Govt should empower the women to handle the situation.
@vandana7 (100638)
• India
25 Sep 12
Actually, females are killed because
a. They are difficult to protect
b. They have to be given dowries for their lifetime upkeep
Not because their numbers are increasing. In fact, we now have only less than 9 women for every 10 men. So you do know that it increases other crimes such as rapes, molestations, incestuous stuff, and human trafficking.
Once the man eater gets the taste of human flesh, it no longers goes to jungles. Likewise, once men get to earn monies easy way like with dowries, they are not going to leave it for anything. At least it looks like that to me as of now.
@Angelpink (4034)
• Philippines
24 Sep 12
Good to know that these things is happening in your country. Even at present dowry is still practiced ?
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
25 Sep 12
I don't have much to say on this topic but I can't imagine killing a baby because it is a girl. I think the way marriage is done should be changed so that a dowry doesn't have to be paid. Why not just allow men and women date, grow in love and marry? If murdering an innocent baby is acceptable practice o think something is very wrong with this. I wonder if this practice will still be like this in a hundred years? Some cultures have a way of changing as the times and situations change.
@beenice2 (2967)
• Sackville, New Brunswick
24 Sep 12
I do believe that it is a matter of decision in all that, you can't blame other nationalities. I don't think it is good to stay alone for the rest of your life if you have lost your mate early in your life, it shouldn't change the inheritance case in all that. I agree to say that there is a to much of divorces and " remarrying.
@vandana7 (100638)
• India
25 Sep 12
It is not early on in life also. Quite often people lose mate later in life. And they do need somebody to make them that tea or bring some medicines. They hesitate to ask other family members, and cant if they are living alone. There is elder abuse as well. So I am for people remarrying at whichever age. It is better than becoming a child abuser.
@vidhyaprakash_2 (7116)
• India
24 Sep 12
Hi friend, now a days most of the people are changed and some Hindus are ready for remarriage, even some elders support this kind of marriages as well as support the divorce if the reason is good, however some old traditional people are also existing in this world but their count is reducing day by day
@vandana7 (100638)
• India
25 Sep 12
@dupremo..are you in a denial mode? May be it existed in old books. And may be we let bad customs creep in our customs. Please read the review of the movie called Phaniyamma that was made in 1983. I have seen a case like that within my family so that was not a stray case. Ok? My father's mother's sister was also deserted following small pox, so there were quite a few cases that I know of. If it is there in Puranas, why such different customs got away with being called part of Hindus? It is because people did not object, they did not think. We need to keep our religion pure and fresh like river water and not like a pond that has stagnated water where all washermen wash dirty clothes. Please be open to the idea. What I am saying is good for our religion and not bad.
