Can You Forgive if You Still Remember?

Once a cheater, quite often a cheater again... when it comes to forgiving and forgetting, while you never truly forget, as someone else pointed out you let go of the anger, pain and betrayal-- and if you're smart, you let go of that person as well. You can forgive almost anything, and you can let go of anger, pain and other negative feelings-- but to continue in a relationship with someone who has proven themselves to be fundamentally untrustworthy and disrespectful is foolish. There are plenty of decent people in the world who believe in treating their partner with respect and being honest-- why waste time with one that doesn't?

hello bro, Forgiving doesn't always mean forgetting. There is no way to forget a painful experience that hurt the person so badly. Remembering doesn't also mean he/she haven't forgiven the person who caused his/her pain. Remembering the situation is to remind him/her not to commit the same mistake again. Remembering the experience or the person doesn't also mean that he/she was not able to moved one. From my own experience, I was cheated/betrayed. I have forgiven my ex, but it doesn't mean I have forgotten what he did. There are times that I cannot avoid remembering what he did and relate it to other people who faced same situation- to make the person understand. What matters most is the inner peace. I am happy with my life, I have peace of mind. I can face the world and tell my story without pain because there is no hatred inside of me.

I can never forgive Without a proper apology given right away Or the proper revenge. " For some reason they can't fix it."? No , he ruined it! The best way for her to have that happily ever after is to go home and pack a bag and leave. Never speak to him ever again.Anything else that needs to be done maybe against the law! The main thing is to Never be with this cheater and to find a good man. The best way to do that is to know her worth and find a guy who can appreciate her. That is where the happily ever after lies.

After any breakup it's hard, but after a break up because of cheating it's even harder. The one who was cheated on begins to have all these emotions and second guessing themselves etc. The only thing the girl can do is go through the emotions and know that she is much better then the one who cheated her. Afterall she is now free and can do as she pleases, no restraints because of a relationship. Of course all of this is much easier said then it is done. The only thing I could do to advise a person in this situation is to listen to music, to write out their emotions and to face the problem if they can. If they can they should face the one who broke their heart and let them know how it made them feel. Even if they never send a letter, hit the enter button to let the IM go through, or call or text, they should write out their feelings as if they are telling the one who hurt them.

Well this kind of situation is still somewhat a recent memory for me. Boy broke up with girl because of long distance relationship, girl keeps visiting him in his country, boy agrees that they would only be in a relationship if she visits him and that they are physically together. 3 months after their breakup, boy finds out he likes me because we share a lot of the spiritual stuff and many other things. After 5 months, I was all set and had ticket ready to go on a vacation to his place. Suddenly ex-gf sends a text message to boy to tell him she would visit him again, she says she will go with her mom as the latter has a job interview and girl will try to go to school in the boy's country. Turns out girl keeps changing her mind as the original intention of the girl is to give their relationship another try. Boy's dilemma is he couldn't tell her about me, he wants to see me first before he sees the ex-gf. BS, isn't it? After I see him for 2 weeks, I move to another area in the city to explore more places and mainly because girl already arrived. For 2 weeks girl was so disillusioned he was a good boyfriend. I eventually spilled the beans about his cheating, I wrote a message to her. She replied to me saying she wished I had told her sooner and that it sucks that she would be raising her child - his first born - on her own. I did not know she was pregnant, I had even suspected I could be pregnant but luckily I wasn't. Boy gets mad at me for telling her the truth - the truth he had no balls to admit to her, I haven't talked to him for 6 months. Now girl is 8 months pregnant and still single. Messy, isn't it? Lol. I still remember a lot and every time I remember I just pray for the person who had played me and that girl.

Based on your scenario, I guess the best remedy is to preoccupy her mind with something of interest, so the memory that lingers would diminish in time. Erasing such memories is quite hard, and it should come from within, i guess she has to believe that life goes on and change has to be caused by self motivation.

i have been cheated on by my last boyfriend. he was the first person to have ever done that to me, and i hope he is the last and i never get to feel that worst feeling ever again. It took me a lot of days, and months to be able to forgive him, and find that one thing in me that would give him that. I think i have forgiven the person... but i can not forget the whole thing. i coped up with the whole thing but still am disturbed at some thoughts of another woman, or cheating, or anything related to unfaithfulness. So right now, i forgave the person but could not forget the things that was done to me so we'd never be able to fix it already - not anymore and we might as well just stay friends or be enemies.

We shoukld forgive and forget. If we still want them to give them another chance that means what they've done is already forgiven and we should move on. It was already over so thinking about it all the time is just a bad thing for the relationship. We have to learn to trust that person again. If we can't then we should let them go. The relationship won't have any good future anymore. Happy mylotting.

Yes I think that it is possible to forgive but still remember. I mean there is the saying you can forgive, but never forget. Forgiveness is something that can help the other move on from what has happened to them. But you always have that memory in the back of your mind of what that person has done wrong to them.

You will remember the regrettable things in your life as well as the joys of your life. Forgiveness is a oart of the healing process that we go through in life. Just because we can remember does not mean that we can't forgive.

You can always forgive but not forget:-)

Firstly, I am not an expert but allow me to share my thoughts. Since human beings are born with a brain that captures memories, it is normal for us not to forget and unfortunately even the bad memories. And you are right, bad memories make our life miserable, thus unable to make us happy. And again you are right that to make her life normal again, she needs to forgive. Forgiving is entirely different from forgetting. One can never forget, but one can definitely regret and simply accept that it happened. When you learn to accept it, you will also learn to detach hatred from your heart. And since you have unloaded some heavy but useless baggages, then you will feel light and learn to be happy again.

I already experience that kind of situation. I thought majority of us can relate on this.Well,there are lot of ways on how she can forget. First, she just need to think the bad things about the guy from his physical appearance, his bad attitudes and to his bad habits. Think all about his turn offs, there, you will realize, he is not that valuable to keep.Next thing to do is to go out with friends,in that way she will not get use to think a lot about her heartaches with the guy because her attention is already on her friends. I think that two advice are effective.;-)

I am not expert on this matter, but, you have to forget in order to forgive. As long as you keep on remembering all those things which had brought you pain, you would always keep remembering the hurt, betrayal, and all the feelings that goes with it. I guess I would say just forget all about it, move on with your life. Leave the past behind. Easier said than done, but as they say, time heals all wounds. Learn to forget.

I don´t understand. Did she break up or not with the boy? If he did, I would not accept him again, but she can be happy with someone else. She doesn´t have to do anything. She will forget him when she finds someone else a lot better.

I just on question:Have this boy and girl still love each other? If the answer is yes,I think this girl should forgive the boy,in my mind,I think lover will apart only for one reason,and that is"they do not love each other enough".

Hey,as time passes we slowly forgets what happened.its so normal.if God hadnot given this we could go insane by remembering everything.although she remember that the boy ditched her but as time will pass it will be easy her to forgive.just let time pass and the wound will heal.and she will be able to forgive.have a good day.

Nope, if you are still remembering it, you have not forgive. If you say you have forgiven someone and thus you are still reminiscing about what happened, then you must realised that you have not been able to forgive that person completely. However, you must bear in mind that forgiveness take time and one should never be in a rush to do it. Better take your time and do it fully rather than doing it partially. With God everything is possible although it might take a while to really see the logic behind it.

It doesn't have to be about a bad break-up; it can be many other scenarios as well, where bottom line, you end up hurt, sad, disappointed, and maybe vengeful a little bit. If we're honest with ourselves, these are the automatic human responses to such situations, especially where you're the 'victim'. Some might even say, it's natural. But I also believe that if we (or this girl) want to move on and be happy, then we have to forgive. In my definition, forgiveness means letting go of the anger, hatred, vengeful,harmful and other negative emotions inside you. It would be good if you can forget, but I don't believe forgiveness has anything to do with forgetting. I hope this helps :)

Yes. I can forgive someone even though someone has done a mistake for me. There is no benefit for us to hate someone.