does silence ease your pain with your partner?

During our early years of being married, i always do that to my husband. I wouldn't speak to him even if i already bump at him on the doorway. Thus, the misunderstanding elongates. But not anymore, i changed because it doesn't solve the misunderstanding. Now, we would talk about it and try to do it as calm as possible. That way, we can settle the issue and be good with each other again.

Sometimes not talking after a fight helps us calm down so we can be nice to each other again. I find that my fiance calms down first. We'll be yelling and go to separate rooms for a while. Eventually he'll come to me and hug me and we'll be ok. But it doesn't always work. Sometimes we really do need to talk about the underlying problem. Being quiet and not talking about it just means it'll come up again and we'll keep fighting about it.

We are given by God the eyes to see,the ears to hear,the heart to love,the brain to think and most of all the mouth to eat and speak.You are the wife,and most men just wait for the moves done by their wives,like me,because women are good in conversation that you must be the one who should suggest to have a serious talk to your husband.If this would always what happen to your relationship you could always rewind all your future differences in a few days time.Do not let your ego becomes supreme to your feelings.Do what is supposed to do so that your problems would be solve right away. Men are just good to solve problems that supports the family,yet women are good in solving marital problems.

Sorry to say it but that is rather immature of you, you are behaving like a spoilt brat. all the best, urban

that's how i was when i and my husband just get married. i tend to keep away from him when i am angry and don't feel good about what he's doing. i would just ignore him and don't talk to him. when i am at the office, i don't answer his calls and sms, until my anger would cease. my reason for it is to avoid bigger fight and saying something that would just hurt him. but my husband would complaint about it, he said he won't understand me, or won't realize what wrong he could have done if i won't tell him about it. he would go crazy thinking what's wrong. and so lately, i tried to tell him if he's done something i don't like and he would appreciate it, sometimes he would go to explain himself and sometimes, he would ask for a sorry. i think, almost majority of us girls succumb to silent war, but i realized guys won't understand if we'll do it. they need to be told.

I wonder how it can make you feel better if you ignore him and have this cold war = bad atmosphere in your house. It might be good to focus on other things but sooner or later you have to start talking again and get closer again or? If not it's better to quite. My husband can be very childish if he can't get what he wants he walks out (saying I am leaving and will go sleep somewhere) and sooner or later he will come back and it is over (according to him). I told him that this is not my way/our way (in my culture) to handle problems. We talk about it and (try to) solve them. Taking a break is fine, saying I leave you is not. If he says that he will find his stuff outside and there is no way back.

i have been with a partner but it is not always the case for me, because i actually sometimes feel i need the silence but it does not mean i do not want to be talking with him.. but yes i agree we all need that bit of silence all right because it is not all the time we need to be chatting with each other because we also need that space between our partners. :D

it does not work all the time. it does not press out the issues that need to be discussed. how can the partner know that there is something he needs to change in order for the relationship to grow? it is not also fair to treat him with silence then not talk about it when the anger cools off. if i don't talk anymore, my husband knows i am truly, truly angry. he just leaves and lets me think about the whole thing. if i can still talk to him, it would mean that the situation is still tolerable.

There are issues between husband and wives that just cannot easily forgotten. I also tend to just be quiet instead of blabbing over and over. I mean, what is the point of he doesn't even hear what you say. Taking some quiet time helps, that way he will have time to think of what really was my point.

For me, it is better to be out spoken rather than keeping quiet. You have to tell him your feelings, your likes and dislikes. It should not be frequently. Once told, couples should try to solve it right away so it would not be repeated. I am also like you. I keep quiet because I know if I speak, things will get worse. But sometimes we need to have some love quarrels, so men should respect what you want as well. Things should not always be favorable to them. But I agree with you in ignoring him for a while and let yourself cool down. Men hates nagger wives. You are not selfish for being that way. You very well know the attitude of your husband and you know what to do. Mine is just a little suggestion.

I wanted to do that. But I just can't. I can't resist but to talk with him. Or just make the first move so we can solve the problem.