I wish I could spend more time with my kids...
@kelly_berry79 (23)
Philippines
September 28, 2012 5:21am CST
I'm a single mother and I have 2 sons. One is 13, the other is 11. It's very difficult for me to play the role of a father and a mother at the same time. I wish I could just stay at home and focus on being a full-time mother, but I can't. Aside from a mother's daily routine, I have to work part-time and do business so that our financial needs will be met. I wish I could spend more time with my kids.. go out and have fun.. watch movies, go camping, have picnics on weekends, but... (sigh) Well.. I guess this is life.
2 people like this
7 responses
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
28 Sep 12
Sometimes, even if we don't want to, we need to sacrifice some things. Being a single parent is really hard. Your kids are grown up and they can understand your situation. Just constantly talk to them when you have the time and tell them that all these sacrifices are for their future.
1 person likes this
@kelly_berry79 (23)
• Philippines
28 Sep 12
I'm not sure if they can understand my situation. There are times that they just want me to stay home and be with them. But when things go wrong, I just feel like it's better for me to go and work in a far place for their future. However, my heart breaks just thinking about that.
1 person likes this
@ajithlal (14716)
• India
29 Sep 12
I hope you can find some solution for your problem and find more time for your children. I think most probably you can try spending more time during the vacation with your friends and during holidays and hope you might be able to find good job where you can spend more time with your children. 
@blinjk (617)
• United States
28 Sep 12
I think you should find some time to have rest and be with your kids even on Sundays.Time is so fast and they grow so fast.As a parent,no matter how busy we are,we should always have time for them in order to keep a strong bond to them.Happy mylotting.
1 person likes this
@kelly_berry79 (23)
• Philippines
28 Sep 12
You're right. Thanks for reminding me that kids grow so fast and when they become grown-ups, I may just regret not spending more time with them while they are young. I'm trying to keep Sundays for them, at least.
1 person likes this
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
28 Sep 12
Hello Kelly and welcome to myLot. Being a full time single parent is really difficult. I was one too and I worked full time. I had 4 kids at that time too.. Kids that age want you home but if they have been on their own for some time they don't want you telling them what to do They become very independent. I know Mine did. Maybe the three of you can find a book you all like and read it together every evening or pay some card or board game before they go to bed. It will give you some bonding time. Think about other things that the three of you can do at home on the spur of the moment.
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
1 Oct 12
Kelly I know about the being tired too. I worked in a food packaging plant so was also tired. When I got home I would take 5 or 10 minutes of setting in the car to transition from work to home. As soon as I was in the door the kids would hit me with all their needs news and wants. That short time made all the difference in the world. Get you sons to help with supper and you help also with the clean up you will be not only teaching them to cook but be spending time with them. Sure your tired but it will be worth it.
@kelly_berry79 (23)
• Philippines
1 Oct 12
Hi! I'm glad to meet someone who has gone through the same experience like mine. I always feel tired when I get home from work and I just don't have more energy to do other things. But I think you're right. My elder son is trying to avoid me most of the time, maybe because I was away when he was younger, while my younger son is always trying to seek my attention. He always asks me to play chess with him or do a lot of things for him. I get so stressed everyday, but knowing I have children depending on me and waiting for me, I think I shouldn't be neglecting them just because I'm working.
1 person likes this
@bloodbinds (7)
•
29 Sep 12
I understand where you are coming from, and though spending time with your sons is important, it's also important for them to see you working to provide a life for them, a roof over their heads and food on the table! And if you spent all your time being a full time mum then you wouldn't be able to afford to actually take them anywhere and do anything with them! It's all about finding the right balance - work and play! You sound like a great mother and you should be proud of what you're doing for your kids!
@kelly_berry79 (23)
• Philippines
1 Oct 12
Thanks for the compliment. Yeah. I'm trying to balance everything these days. I always tell them that I won't be a good mother if I just stay home but couldn't provide their needs. I hope that the changes I made would somehow work for the better.
@kelly_berry79 (23)
• Philippines
1 Oct 12
Yes, I will. I'm trying to spend more time with them at least on Sundays.
@GemmaR (8517)
•
28 Sep 12
I think that a lot of people wish that they could spend more time with their children, but unfortunately this is not always something that can be easily achieved. One thing that you could do would be to try and save up some cash so that you could take more time off work. We have recently started thinking about everything that we spend, and we have found that if we buy different brands of food then we can save up the money that we need to be able to go on days out as a family, which is a wonderful thing to be able to do.
@kelly_berry79 (23)
• Philippines
1 Oct 12
I think you're right. I'm actually trying to save some amount so I can just start my own business. At least with that, I'll be able to manage my work and time according to my own preference. It may take some time, but I guess that's the best solution to my problem. Thanks for your advice.
