What would you do if your husband says he has an affair outside on your face???

This is only a personal opinion on the above situation. If a husband had the guts to tell his wife upfront about his affair it only shows how inconsiderate he is to her and this only sums up to total lack of respect, compassion and (although painful to accept) love. If treated this way i would rather opt to find ways be able to stand/live on my own with my kid and retain my self respect than to be with him and be treated as trash.

My husband had affair I was very sad and didn't know how to react to it or what to do. I decided I would stay in the marriage and try to work things out. The affair was over 10 years ago now and I have always felt like I made a mistake to stay with him. We don't love each other just stay married because of children. It is very sad. If my friend had this happen I would tell them to leave and make a new life with someone else.

I read all your comments on this subject. Obviously your friend is an abused woman. I don't know how you can help her. Abused women usually stay with their abusers and sometimes are severely beaten and even killed. You say he hit her, does not allow her to see her friends or wear clothes that she herself has chosen. Her husband told her to her face that he has an affair. That shows he has no respect for her, does not love her, does not care what she thinks or feels. This lady should immeditely go to a women's shelter with her child and try to rebuild her life. No money? no shelter? Does she have parents or friends that can take her in until she finds a job that will support her? From now on she should devote all her energy and will to find a way out of this marriage, but not tell him, and act normal until she is ready to leave. She could squirrel away some of the grocery money that he gives her, ask her parents and friends to give her Birthday or other Festival presents of money instead of other items but hide it in a scarf or other little present so he does not see or find it. She should make her plans, sell her jewellry if need be and then when the plans are firm leave the house when he is not here and never return. She could leave a note saying she left him for good and then file for divorce. At first she should not tell him where she is because men like him will show up with flowers and gifts and swear things will be alright. Sadly abused women will fall for it and go back into a hellish existence.

Hi! It is utterly disgusting and unfair on the part of husband to openly claim in front of his wife that he has an extra maritial affair. The wife should confront him and she should take him to task and should question him what prompted him to go for an affair outside? She should tell her hubby that she is his legally wedded wife and he has no business to have an affair outside their marriage.

i can understand your friend feeling she must be desperate she must be hopeless now it depends on your friend.. she must consult maybe with her parents, what should she done now for saving her marriage or maybe concerning her kids

If ever this would happen to me, I am not quite sure what I could be capable of doing. I will cry, of course. probably I'd even get myself drunk. However, I will talk to my husband, ask him why he did that. Now, whatever his reasons are, I don't think I can ever forgive him.

I am out the door, even if I have kids,or I'm kicking him out having the locks changed. This is totally disrespectful. If they'd rather be with someone else than me than you go ahead. We done!

I can tell y our friend what NOT to do. Do not go out and have an affair to spite him. That would only bring her down to his level. She has several choices, but some of them hang on what he wants. Does he want the marriage to stay intact? Was it a one time act that he does not intend to repeat? I don't know the laws in your country regarding divorce and support, so my advice would have to be tempered with the law. Her choices are: 1. If he asks forgiveness and assures her that it will not happen again, she can try to forget about the affair and never mmention it again. 2. She can take her child, go home and cry on Momma's shoulder. Her father and brothers will beat up hubby and tell him that he'll never see his child again. 3. Husband prefers to stay with the woman with whom he had the affair, so your friend and he work out an agreement where he will support both your friend and the child but will have no marital rights other than to see the child at predetermined times and places. his usually means divorce and needs to be drawn up by an attorney and filed with the court. 4. Your friend kills her husband, goes to jail, and her inlaws raise the child. 5. There is also the possibility of family counceling, if both parties agree. 6. Husband does not want to give up other woman. Your friend silently consents to him having a mistress to keep the family together. I did not arrange these in order of what I thought best. I just listed them as I thought of them. It doesn't matter what I think, anyway. Your friend has to make up her mind, considering what the law says. FYI: The phrase is "In her face", not "On her face". The later brings up visions of him stomping him on her face, which I'm sure she felt like he did.

This is the last thing every wife wants to hear. The worst nightmare of every woman. Well, it is better to hear the truth than staying in a relationship that is full of betrayal and cheating. The wife should file legal complain and support -that's the best thing to do.

It would be very hard to react in this kind of situation because this is one of those things I do not want to hear from my husband. I do not really know if I can still talk after hearing this but if I could, I would definitely ask him his purpose of saying or confessing that to me. Does he wants to put an end to our marriage? or he is saying this to ask for forgiveness?

I can't swear what to do when I'm in this situation. I'll just cross the bridge when I'll get there. I had an experience before. My friends told me that my husband was always seen at a cafe with a girl. According to my source, she saw him every night after going out from school. I just ignore it and didn't confront my husband. I was of the belief that if I'll see them in bed that would be the time for me to react. Years after and now at present, we're still living together and not even a single word about that was said between us.

Oh my god its heart breaking.i'm single so i don't know clearly a wife's mind.Anyway if my husband has any affair with someone then surely i'll divorce him. May be i will slap him too.because he is cheating me,Cheating wife is not a good thing.and its my opinion.

Tell him to stop it. If your husband continuous the illicit act, sue him in court.

My husband had an affair. I didn't realize what was going until after I had already left. At the time I just couldn't figure out why we were fighting so much. Then he started staying gone all night and I got suspicious. A few days later my kids started telling me about daddy's new friend. That day I went to stay with a friend. Sure enough, my neighbor called to tell me he had another woman in my house. I packed up mine and the kids clothes and left. I have to admit, I was under the impression that it would blow over and I was willing to work with him and try to recover our marriage. But after a few weeks, I realized it was truly over. Although at the time I was heart broken, I am glad I left when I did. The kids didn't need to see the arguements, the tears, and the tension. Our divorce was final in May. He married the girl in August and is expecting their first child. He says he is happy. Who knows for sure? As for me, I didn't realize how unhappy I was in our relationship, and how controlling he was, until I was out. And I am the happiest I have been in a very long time. I'm even dating! I up and left. For me, that was the right choice. But just because it worked for me, doesn't mean thats the right solution for everyone!

It must be devastating to have the whole truth thrown into her face like that. Even though her husband is being honest and upfront but still, it must be equally heartbreaking and painful when the blow was delivered. However, I believe your friend will need to realize and accept the reality that the third party's presence is concrete. She may be confused, look into the relationship to see where she had erred or even want to take the blame for whatever had happened here. From what you had posted, I could feel that she would take it that she had not done enough for this marriage and hence the failure. I think it would be good for her to come around to her senses soon to decide what she wants to do with this marriage and her children. It is obvious that women usually would take the softer stance, accept what's thrown at them and still remain in the relationship even when it is loveless. So, I believe the first thing would be for her to understand that no one is the absolute cause for this failure. Only then, will she be able to decide objectively for herself and the rest of the family especially the children. Separation is needed and when she has settled down, she will need to decide on what she needs to do to keep herself afloat. Divorce proceedings will flow by in time and by then she will need to prepare for proceedings like child custody, child support, maintenance, affidavit of assets and means. At this time, friends like you will be important for her where she will need all the moral support and advise she can get. As a friend, I hope that you will remember that you have your own limitations and you certainly do not need to be over accommodating. Learn to let her go to a marriage and family counselor when she is unable to recover from her setback and lawyer when she does not know what to do when her husband serves her the papers or better still, she serves her husband the papers.

It is very difficult to predict what would be the reaction at the time when a person might actually hear this from his/her partner. May be looking into that person's eyes I might say, "I am glad you revealed about your affair, I couldn't do that in past 1 month. I am sure now that you are in this position, you will understand my situation." I will keep noticing the changing colors on his face and see how he would react on this. My further communication would be according to what he would say and how he would judge me on it. I would give him what he would offer me.

Hi friend, sad to hear about this, surely no wife have the ability to tolerate this kind of activities, it will give a great pain in their heart, if they love their hubby sincerely. Surely i will shocked a lot while hearing about this kind of news

Hello nice meeting you, I will thanks him for that. For telling me he has an affair. Break up straight after that! Sincere long relationships should be the key point. People goes hay wire at times and if that is over and accepting then let it happen. Just bits and pieces from me. Best Regards, Carol Ng

This is never easy ,it is like shooting you at a very close range. Right there and then i will ask him to leave and be with that girl , no more discussion or arguments. So clear no more love and respect so whats use of holding.

If my husband tells me that he has an extra-marital affair, I would ask him why he was able to do it. I might have contributed to his misdeeds.Of course, this is not definitely going to be easy.I,myself, cannot tell how I will react if I were in this situation.I am pretty sure that the first thing I will ask is "why?". In your friend's case, you've mentioned that she married an abusive man. I guess, there no reason for stay in that kind of relationship. It will hard for her to accept this piece of advice.There are certain things which she has to consider before making a drastic move. Be a shoulder she can lean on and keep on supporting her until she realize that can carry through without her husband. She can also seek help from lawyer and I think she can file a polygamy case.