Why wouldn't you give the child a better chance?
By AidaLily
@AidaLily (1450)
United States
September 28, 2012 10:54am CST
It is been a while since I actually posted a full rant, but things happen and people just need to get them off their chest.
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Why on earth would you keep a child you can't take care of if the child's other parent is fully capable of taking care of the child?! I mean how selfish can someone be to not give the child a chance at a decent future.
I understand you have friends and family to tell you that you are the best parent in the world and that the child is better off with you because you are a fantastic person when they are around.
However, the reality of the situation is much different. You can't keep a job and it has nothing to do with a failing economy. It is because you believe you are entitled to cussing out your boss, checking out girls starting at the age of 13, making inappropriate comments about how much you would like to "bang" your under 18 co-workers at the restaurants and fast food places you worked at, you stopped working hard to maintain your job, and every job you have had... minus working for your parents and a shop that closed down in five months for violations....You have gotten fired from.
It is almost October and you haven't had a job since April! The child has lost weight, but because he does get exercise the bit of muscle he has is making up for that.
You can't run out of state because you share custody with his mother and even if you have physical you can not leave without her permission and let's face it, as jealous as you are that she didn't want to be some subservient woman that you could force yourself on constantly, the child would have been better off with her.
Now you haven't paid your rent, you still have no job, and your landlord wants to evict you for non-payment. Your family that can pay for you lives in New York and while other family will help you out, they want you to be a man and make it on your own. They have responsibilities and such as well rather than constantly paying for you. You know the child isn't better off with you and you know what the right thing to do is, but are you that egotistical to not care?
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Is it wrong to feel sorry for the child going through this?
1 person likes this
6 responses
@SinfulRose (3527)
• Davao, Philippines
29 Sep 12
Is this guy for real?!
Slash foster homes, let the child be taken care of by the grandparents. As much as possible let someone a relative of the child to take care of the child. No kid can take care of another child especially if the kid responsible is irresponsible.
Slash foster homes, let the child be taken care of by the grandparents. As much as possible let someone a relative of the child to take care of the child. No kid can take care of another child especially if the kid responsible is irresponsible.@AidaLily (1450)
• United States
29 Sep 12
His stepmother doesn't believe in helping him anymore, but his father takes her money even though they can't afford it to help his son. His actual mother had passed when he was 17 years old. Sadly, this guy is for real. It is kind of shocking because I always give people the benefit of the doubt when you meet them and all, but yeah I would expect someone older than me to be more responsible.
1 person likes this
@SinfulRose (3527)
• Davao, Philippines
29 Sep 12
I can understand the reasons of his stepmom but I can also understand the need of his father to give him money--for his kid. How did you come to know this guy?
I can't see his reasons why he is irresponsible. I just hope that the kid can be saved from the suffering.
@AidaLily (1450)
• United States
29 Sep 12
He was part of a group of people that I worked with at the call center. It was a fundraising firm, and he seemed like a great guy when all the co-workers got together to go out. One of those social people who starts up random conversations when everyone is relaxing after work. He was an enthusiastic fundraiser before he got fired for telling off a donator for not donating to the cause again.
1 person likes this
@silverfox09 (4708)
• United States
29 Sep 12
it is sad that a child have to live through all that and even a foster home is not best . People grow up in foster care get a lot of abuse and that is even more sad .
That person sound like a lowlife and should never be allow to have children , some people or just popping out children and not thinking . I think those people are cruel. A lot of older people , friends and family will encourage others to have children even when they see you are clearly not ready . I dont even think some married couple should jump into having a child until they are more stable .
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
28 Sep 12
Hi AidaLily, The child's welfare is what's important here and he/she should be with the parent who can best care for her/him. It is really just as simple as that. Relationships don't always work out and it doesn't mean that one person is better than another but they are incompatible. No parent should let jealousy or pride or anything for that matter, keep them from doing what's best for the child. Blessings.
@celticeagle (168256)
• Boise, Idaho
28 Sep 12
It is very sad how some parents treat their kids and their ex's. The ex may not have been the perfect partner but who is to say they aren't a good parent. And they are the other half of the equation. People's egos get in the way and they have to save face,doesn't matter if it means the child goes by the way side or not. People use kids as pawns all the time. It is horrible and will hurt them in the long run. And leave the child with all kinds of issues. Why would it be wrong to feel sorry for a child that is going through something like this? That is just nuts.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
29 Sep 12
I can't speak for this parent at all because I would never be the person that would do something like that to my child if I was in a situation where I was separated from their father. If I knew that I was not able to adequately provide for them, then I would allow them to spend the majority of their time with their other parent. The reason that I would do this is because of the fact that I am a mother and as a part of being a mother I think that it is my responsibility to look out for the well being of my children at all times, and that does mean acknowledging that I am not able to fulfill their best interests.
@jrkirsch75 (72)
• United States
29 Sep 12
This is a hard subject for me. My situation isn't the same, but I've realized that many parent/s that have the children, shouldn't, and that those that should have the system has taken or tricked them into signing them away.
I'm honestly surprised that the authorities haven't taken the child from him. It would probably help the child, if the mother, asked the courts to look into it. The courts then could assign an advocate to the child, that is neither for the father or the mother, but to decide what is the best situation for the child.
These have been used before, you just don't hear it happening to often. It is worth the try. Also, have folks that aren't associate to the mother, write what they observe in the household or attitude of both the father and child. Like the man's bosses and landlord, and possibly family members.
I know a few father's with custody of their children and they are doing an AWESOME job, yet it is difficult for many courts to give father's physical custody. There has to be major problems ussually for the mother not to get them. If this is how the guy is, then how did he get custody. Sounds to me like he really needs a wake-up call on how to be a man and a RESPONSIBLE parent.
I will pray for this child and hopefully the situation and circumstances will get better for him/her to be able to grow health, loved, and in a safe and happy environment without too many hazards to his mind for when he grows up.
