Today My Life Begins

Funny, last night, I wast typing up an answer to your post when suddenly it all went pitch black. So, the fates decided for me to stop working and get some sleep. I will try to recreate what could have been my long answer. I don't think I have heard those songs, but I will find them. I love music, I love songs and when people say this is a good song, I go and find it and that's why my computers are filled with songs to the brim! Well, 2012 is probably the worst year in my life, and some of my heartaches I have posted in other discussions. But, I would really like to start my life anew and so leave these things behind - or at least the pain it caused me (us - my entire family). In February, my brother tried to take his life by drinking poison. In March, the saddest thing in my life happened - my dad passed away in a car accident. That is by far the most painful thing for me. And then a few weeks after, we had to travel back to another city (the city where I actually live in) because we had a flower shop and all the tenants were being evicted. We had no other place to set up business in. A few days after that my brother had a life threatening disease and it was really dangerous considering what his body went through in February. Then, sometime in June, I went back to having 2 jobs, and there was an opportunity for me to apply for a permanent post in my night job (because I preferred this to my day job, but can't quit the day job because my night job is not really stable unless I get a permanent post), but I got rejected. So, I am waiting for another chance, but management is taking a long time deciding. And then just last week, somebody stole our tricycle (a motorcyle with a side car, maybe like Thailand's tuktuk, but the passenger is by the side, not behind) RIGHT IN OUR GARAGE! On after another the heartaches kept piling up. And, even when there were no problems in sight, I felt the pain of the loss. Everyday, I miss my dad. And I just don't know when the pain will go away. Sometimes, I think that the other problems are welcome, because they distract me from my grief. But, I get spent emotionally and mentally, as I am already spent physically having two jobs. I want to give up either, but, I can't because I have financial goals, and so near accomplishing them. That's the reason for that other post. Sorry, I got so carried away.

Thank you for listening. I have never said them out aloud to anyone, well, I have posted some of them in one discussion that I made, but with all my emotions I've said them here. I know the pain will still be there, they say it won't be completely gone, but the fact that I said them all here made me feel a bit lighter. I feel privileged, too, because you share those things with me. And inspired, because I would like now, too, to spend my energy into helping others, too, instead of wallowing in on my pain. And this is what I am thankful for MyLot for, because it has given me friends whom I do not see, but who I feel are sincere when they say they understand. I have another post, sadder, where I vented out all my sadness and sweet friends came comforting, too. I will never trade these for anything in the world. I am sure as days pass, you would realize and feel that the incidents of 2012 happened only to make you stronger - I feel another song coming up ~ Stronger by Kelly Clarkson "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger..." And she is so right!

Glad that we met at Mylot. cannot say much but one small thing - in case you need a lot to say out (I know it acts like a healer) and dont find anyone - search for me at MyLot... I will be there as long as they dont throw me out And yes, what doesnt kill you does make you stronger. I have a dialoge from some movie (The Beach) of Leonardo De Caprio - I will Not Die Today - and I add my words after it - so I am and will be alive.

Yeah, music inspires a lot of people. It is a healer of our soul. I hope you have a wonderful, music-filled day today!

I think I've heard that song one time, and I agree. We just go on and do what we need to do anyway. I will see if I have that song in my collection and will search for it if I don't.

I remember your song, Standing Outside the Fire. I think I made another discussion about songs that move us and you mentioned that. And the reason why you like that song. I am not familiar with your other songs, but, I will surely find them and listen to them! The lines are beautiful!

Thanks, and I wish for better days for you, too. I hope that everyone has better days from now on, and a better disposition in life, so that when the worse days come, we are prepared for it. Someday, I wish I could hear some of those traditional south Indian songs. I love listening to songs from other countries, especially from other Asian countries.

That's right. Praise songs not only give you happiness, but joy. What are your favorite songs?

Yes, I hope it can inspire you, too, as it has inspired me. If you listen to the whole song, it could really boost you. I hope that things will turn around for you and be better.