Did you let yourself go after you got married?

LOL! Oh, I can relate to the comfort thing - and granted I had a period in my life that I wasn't practicing many healthy habits but I remember going to the doctor and getting on the scale and it freaked me out. Weighing 12 lbs more than you usually do isn't a huge deal to most people but it was for me... I had been super lazy from the time my daughter was born until she was 2. The thing is, I realized aside from potential health problems and a lower metabolism, I needed to show healthy habits to my kids and make sure I taught healthy habits to my toddler. I've taken in a lot of comments over the years from people... many of them thinking it doesn't matter if you don't care, people who stopped trying to take a shower because of kids, stopped even wearing real clothes... I swore I would NEVER be one of those people. It's not necessary to lose yourself because you are busy and have a family, if anything you should want to be the best version of yourself you can be for them. Kudos to you for working out or making healthy changes, you will be happier for your efforts

Thanks for the support really appreciated

I don't care if I am 80 years old either, I still want to be me, and I care about myself lol. I won't let time steal from me what matters, nor the attitudes of other people.

I think this is wonderful! It also shows your children how to love and cherish your spouse, which is something they need to see in action or they won't know how to choose someone who will love them or how to love them back. I think many of us have that 'aha' moment where we saw where we were and where we were headed if we didn't step back and make some changes. The sad thing is that some people have that moment but then they don't do anything. Others of us have that moment and right then and there resolve we HAVE to do something about it. Mine didn't have much to do with my relationship, just the fact that I had too many unhealthy habits and I wasn't moving, and lack of exercise and lack of goals was not a good way to teach my kids lol. I love how my daughter will tell people 'my mommy runs. I run too'. She tells people 'I play soccer and basketball. I do karate. I dance.' I'm pretty proud of her, she will try anything. One time when my husband was running on the treadmill she asked him if he was trying to be like Jake (her friend's dad lol). I got a kick out of it - Jake runs a lot like I do and he does a lot of racing with me.

I totally agree! People need to put themselves in the other person's shoes once in awhile. While your spouse may love you dearly and may NEVER say 'would you mind not wearing sweats once in awhile', perhaps they would LIKE you to not wear sweats once in awhile.... LOL! I don't like dressing up but I still like wearing real clothes and truthfully it's nicer to go out into the world looking nice than it is to go out looking like you are hung over and just crawled out of bed! It doesn't even take very long, just a shower and about 15 min on top of it.

I think about this a lot, not just because I SEE how often it happens around me but because so many people are sad, depressed, and needing things in their relationships that they are not getting. I think people aren't asking, they aren't communicating, and they aren't doing anything to become better people themselves or caring about themselves. Why should someone else care about you when it's obvious you don't even care about yourself? Even if people won't express it in those words, I know that is a factor in relationship breakdowns. We are all attracted to attractive people, positive people, kind people. People who have slacked off and stopped being those things no longer have anything to bring to a relationship and they turn into a drain on it. I see a lot of people posting in here saying 'well it doesn't really matter because we're already married'... read that statement over again. Does it matter to you? If you WEREN'T married, would it matter? Why is there a difference? There shouldn't be! There's a difference between being so comfortable with someone that you don't have to put on a show but yet you still want to be beautiful for them and for yourself as well. Also, from a health standpoint, you don't want to start experiencing preventable health problems because you have 'stopped caring'. I think that's extremely selfish to do that and then get sick or die on your spouse much younger than necessary lol. People should also look at how preventable chronic illnesses can affect their relationships with their kids, how it can strain their jobs and incapacitate them in other ways. A lot of people are afraid of confrontation or arguing, but when there's something that needs to be said, it needs to be said or resentment will build up and cause more stress and anger in any relationship.

That's what people use as excuses, but bottom line if you really care, you will find time. We all make appointments that we have to keep. If you make an appointment every day for an hour to destress yourself - go to a workout class, run, dance, whatever - or an hour to take a long bath, a nap, a walk, to lie on the grass while the kids play at the park, to read a book or call a friend - such a reward for such a small amount of time. Even people who work a lot can make time - take a walk or a run on your lunch break - or do it right after work, keep your gym bag or shoes in the car. If you can't because you have to pick up kids right away, go for a walk with the family after dinner. Small changes, over time can add up into something big!

You sound balanced and aware of the problem . I think even if I hadn't gotten back into competitive running, I would still run and work out - for my sanity, not just for fun trips and PRs. When you have goals it's also easier to make other changes - like eating better. I remember times when my husband and I sat around and ate a lot of cookies and ice cream lol. That's not to say we never sit around and eat cookies and ice cream - we do occasionally but that's more the treat than the norm. He works out too . I think I am the worst about REGULARLY getting hair cuts but I don't believe in that every 6 weeks thing. I have long hair which takes me about 15 minutes to do if I'm going to do it, otherwise I do the ponytail or messy bun for working out. Just take care of yourselves no matter your comfort level, that will ensure you both have long happy lives together!