Marriages That Last Forever

I object to "wife has to behave well and tactfully" and "epitome of patience and true faithfulness". For starters, people rarely behave badly. Like you have expectations from your wife, she too has some from you. If you dont fulfil her expectations, dont expect her to stop living and put her needs and desires into a steel trunk that can be thrown in some river somewhere. You are not the only person who is important here. People lose patience when subjected to too much of deprivation. I think the cards should have been laid on the table at the time of fixing the alliance. Usually, nature is not discussed and assessed. People in our societies only look at the quantum of dowry the girl is likely to bring and jump into deal. Of course, there is a possibility that you have not taken any dowry. If so, I apologize, it was just a general statement. I earn this much, I have this much responsibility, and based on my present situation, I think it would take us this much time to build a home, and this much time to buy you some gold. I would want you to join me to earn some since I truly cant afford a family of four. And yes, my parents are important, and so are my brother and sisters. I would not - repeat - would not take your side at any time as without family support, neither me nor you can survive. And if anything worse happens, kids would need somebody to turn to. Not that families support, but there is a probability. So do you find these things acceptable. Cut and dry. Oh no, at the time of marriage such things are not discussed. Are they? They ask about which movies you like, which is your favorite color, which is your favorite fruit..who is your favorite actor. When men are not practical then it is hard for women to be tactful. You have to admit, you are no Adonis or Aamir Khan that your wife would just be satisfied with your looks. Frankly, it hurt. Because we women know how difficult it is to tackle some species of men at home, in whichever relationship.

Patience and faithfulness is the key here I think. People of my greatmother's generation never divorced and would not think of such a thing. Now days divorce is an everyday occurence. If people got to know eachother better before marriage and went into it more seriously then there would not be a need to divorce.

Sukumar! You are going to be beaten black and blue in this discussion because you have stressed on the woman's behaviour to be the vital ingredient for success in a marriage.We are living in a world of women's liberation.Much as I agree with you [because the husband is automatically assigned a superior role in our patriarchal system and because he is treated as the captain of the ship of marriage ]because I am middle aged and of the old school of thought that stressed on the higher tolerance , patience and equanimity of the woman ,I believe that these lofty sentiments do not work in the modern era;this is why many marriages fail.

ahhh... no... I think the way a good marriage survives is if both partners are also their spouses best friends. I've seen that where my mother used to live. Lots of long term marriages with both partners also being in like as well as in love - so to speak. Now, the roomie's folks have been married for 53 years and I have no idea why she puts up with him, I'd've been so out of there years ago... Then again, there's probably loads of good reasons I've never married.

I wish more young people thought like you. The world would be a much better place.

I believe that the reason that there are so very many marriages that fail is actually because of the fact that the members of a couple are not able to effectively and openly communicate with each other. My parents had a relationship that lasted for what I believe would have been forever had my father not passed away when my parents had only been married for almost nineteen years. I saw in them that they rarely fought and when they did, they never went to bed angry. This is something that I am trying to do with my own marriage and I do think it is something that is making our marriage stronger than most other marriages today.

Surely not the wife only!? In order for a marriage to be successful, the husband needs to behave well and tactfully, too. It is just as important for the man to be faithful to his wife as it is for a woman to be faithful to her husband. I do hope that is what you meant to say :-)

Oh please explain the golden rules! may be that is why I got divorced? I think my husband did not know the golden rules! he was not exactly the epitome of patience and did not behave tactfully.

The problem with marriage is that the person in engage into particular contract. Partner should know and respect the divinity of marriage to avoid such things to happen.

Marriages that last are hard to find. I think both just need to get along well. It is not up for either to keep more of their half of the marriage going well. If only the wife is "behaving" as you put it then what does that mean? The male can just go do whatever he wants and us women just have to take it?

I must say that the line "the wife has to behave well" is a little sexist isn't it. Now if you look at it like that shouldn't the man provide for the woman and make sure she is happy. Well, I have news for you, I am the bread winner in my family and am putting my husband through college while he is the student/house husband. I think both parties must be willing to work toward the marriage. It is not something to be taken lightly. I know in my marriage we respect each other and treat each other as best friends. If either of us wants go somewhere we will call and ask (out of respect, not for permission) to make sure there are no other plans. Too often instead of dating for a lengthy amount of time people will just decide to get married and then find out that they are not a match...then comes divorce. Most people today treat marriage as people used to treat dating, just break up and move on to the next.

It takes two to make a marriage work, three really because God has to be a factor in that relationship. You say a wife has to behave well, I wish you would define behave well. A man has to behave well also. I weren't raised to be tactful. I was raised to tell the truth and stand up for myself. Marriage is 50-50, I pull my weight and he's going to pull his. When my son was small I had a business, I ran a store, but it was in front of our home. I cooked, cleaned, took care of my son and took care of 30 head of dogs and 200 chickens. My husband worked. I am my own person and have my own mind. My husband don't dictate to me and I don't dictate to him. My husband is retired now, he's disabled. I'm not working at present either, but I am going to school to get my degree. We're still together because he respects me and I respect him. I met my husband when I was 18, I had just graduated high school. He was 31. We dated 2 years and were married. We've been married 30 years. I'm 51 and he's 63. A marriage takes love, mutual respect, God and faithfulness. If you have that a marriage can withstand most any trial it goes through.

I have very high hopes in marriage. That once you get married, you two become one and you are united by Christ.

being married is a tough situation especially if it concern and other parties involved like having kids.Its great to have someone to share your life based on true love,compassion and respect.For my opinion these are the 3 keys to have a love lasting marriage.

I am not married yet... but i think it is true that the couple's endurance should be able to withstand any test of love, trust, and vow. I believe though that if you truly love the person, no matter what... no matter how you were tempted, no matter what you go through, you will hold the person's hand and not want him or her to be away from you. Love is not only a feeling, it is a decision, and when you decide you should stand by it regardless.

Marriage is a bicycle for two. We keep paddling the wheels regardless of the condition of road. Marriage can only survive when two people are compatible and respect their marriage vows. Most marriages aren't smooth sailing. The bumps, hills and valleys rises and falls are the common obstacles that we encountered but they helped us grow. The point is to stay together and grow, not separate and sulk. A lot of patience is needed to have a long lasting marriage. Jumping out of a moving car isn't wise and healthy. Stay seated and enjoy the ride.

i have seen so many marriages which last for significant amount of time,its all about finding good partners and sharing life,adjusting mainly also earnestly

Hi, during the journey of marriage, both partners are expected to agree, accept and love unconditionally to write the success stories... Oh, thanks for giving credit to the wife here...lol. these days we lack patience and get easily furious on our partners whenever we are in a bad mood...

You can determine a successful marriage when that couple both grow old happily together. And the best foundation to any relationship to last forever is when you invite God to be in the center of your relationship. If you have that then everything would follow. If you fear God above all you can be faithful to your partner.