Twenty years and it ended just like that?
By smiling_ja
@smiling_ja (261)
Philippines
October 1, 2012 10:16am CST
My best friend and I fell apart during our teenage years. She had me chose between our old friends and the new ones I made during my active days of community services. I tried to explain to her that I value our friendship as well as the new ones I had and that she can join us and nothing will change, she'll never be left out but she had that resolve. We ended up not speaking to each other, since I was busy with organizations, I eventually left her be.
It's been 15 years since we had a fall off and in moments like this, I reminisce all the good old days likewise the differences that set us apart. I'm quite saddened, twenty years I've nurtured our special bond and just for that petty issue she's given up on us. I wonder if sometimes she still recalls about us..I tried getting through to her but now nobody knows where she lives.
Having a best friend means a lot to me even though at these years in my life, I can cope having no one. It is still best to have someone talk about each others interest, each others worries, joys of parenthood and trivial things that only two good friends see eye to eye with each other.
Right? What do you say?
1 person likes this
8 responses
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
2 Oct 12
It is such an unhappy thought of not having your best friend beside you. I wouldn't want the same thing to happen with me. You had a petty disagreement that cause your friendship to end. I hope you don't get mad at me saying that she was selfish that time of not wanting you to be with others other than her. If she really treated you as her best friend, it would never have take you 15 years to be apart.
We can only miss the good times from the past, but you deserve to find a much better friend than her.
@smiling_ja (261)
• Philippines
2 Oct 12
Hi, I guess so..and hopefully I will be able to move on from that bitter experience and stop missing her. I know I've been a good friend and I deserve someone who'll compliment with my personality.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
3 Oct 12
Exactly! You should not worry about people who do not treasure the friendship that you have offered them.
@natliegleb (5175)
• India
2 Oct 12
that is so hurting and i am sure it must take a toll on you,why dont you just go down to the extent of speaking to that person eye to eye rather than phone call.to let the person know that you still feel a lot for them
@smiling_ja (261)
• Philippines
2 Oct 12
Wish I could natliegleb but I can't find her..very sad though coz it's gonna be the end of the year and I wish to reconcile with all of those dear to me that I've hurt of who are not happy with me.
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
1 Oct 12
I am sorry to hear that, I know you value friendship so much, this friend is not meant to be together with you through thick and thin, and I wonder if she was thinking about you sometimes? Twenty years is a long way have come, maybe she has changed to a different person, not as easy to get with. 
@smiling_ja (261)
• Philippines
2 Oct 12
Way back I also used to think that she doesn't deserve my friendship, but as the years go by, I can't help sometimes and wish to be reunited with her.
@GemmaR (8517)
•
1 Oct 12
It is horrible when we fall apart from friends who we have been close with for a long time. I had a friend for ten years, and then she stopped talking to me because of a complete misunderstanding at college one time. She refused to talk to me after that, and basically threw away many years of friendship over something that didn't even happen because she misunderstood something that I had said. You just have to move on and give your attentions to somebody who is worth your time, rather than somebody who just doesn't deserve it.
@smiling_ja (261)
• Philippines
2 Oct 12
I know this search is futile, but I still hope I'll find her but up to a certain period of time only.
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
1 Oct 12
Well that sucks that your friendship ended like that. It sounds maybe more like she was jealous or felt you weren't spending as much time together because of your new friends. But either way, I think that she should have not just dropped off like that and just tell you how she felt. Maybe it wasn't meant to be or maybe it was just yalls friendship just waining away. If your friendship is true and meant to be then, your friendship will get back together. That's how I look at it. I would keep trying to get in contact with her though. As some have said though, yes you miss her but does she miss you. Most likely she probably does. I had a really good friendship as well and I miss her sometimes too and I have even tried to get in contact with her and nothing. So I miss her, but I just move on. But it is good to have best friends, I kind of feel like I'm losing mine because we all are in different areas and now have our own lives and we don't hang as much. We talk every now and then and that's about it.
@smiling_ja (261)
• Philippines
2 Oct 12
Isn't it good meeting new friends and enjoying new activities together? At that time that's how I wanted her to realize, well maybe I was kinda hopeful that time. But anyway, sometimes I feel 20 years were long enough for us so we just have to seek new faces and new acquaintances.
@HomeBase (1153)
• United States
1 Oct 12
I understand where your friend is coming from, because if a person feels jealous about someone else getting close to you but they are supposed to be the best friend, that can cause problems. Sometimes, a best friend does not want to share you with someone else. They feel like if you don't care enough to want to spend one on one time with them, then you do not like them as much as they like you.
I think that best friends are really important because you can talk to them comfortably about all kinds of things. You two understand each other. That being said though, I know that even though it is a best friend, they are not going to be perfect, they will let you down in some kind of way.
A human being will always let you down because there is no way that they can be perfect, that is why I like to lean on prayer. God never lets us down, for those of us that believe on Him.
I know it can be hard when a friend that we have had for a long time is no longer in our lives. It feels like something is missing.
Maybe you will eventually find her on facebook, or maybe you two will run into each other one day, just keep praying for her.
@smiling_ja (261)
• Philippines
2 Oct 12
I tried every means of finding her in facebook but she has no account, I've asked around the place where we came from but no one was able to tell me.
Maybe I took for granted her feelings way back that is why I am doing all efforts to find her so we can talk like two mature people and kiss and make up. That would be a great meeting for us.
@riyauro (6421)
• India
1 Oct 12
Wow so many years of friendship. i think when she did not give is a go when you were ready to accept her, then it is better that whatever happens, happens for good. I can understand you missing her but does she miss you the same way?? Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.
@bdfreelancer (518)
•
3 Oct 12
I understand quite well when someone you like as one of the best friends or simply as the best friend and then they become distant because of misunderstanding or other reasons. If someone you like so much so and then they become no longer a friend it is really sad. But life is not always straightforward. What is the point of feeling for someone who is not feeling the same way as you? I would not feel sorry for a friend who would fall out with me because of their own faults. I would only become friends with them again if they would feel sorry and really wanted to be friends again.
