How Do I Get the Right Girl to Find Me?
@mythociate (21432)
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
October 2, 2012 8:25am CST
In another discussion, I wrote: "... 'what you want' never comes to you like you know it's supposed to, but 'going out and getting it' more-often-than-not gets you accused of robbery & -abuse & -the like."
It's the curse of all 'guys like I am,' who are straight guys "waiting" for the right girl to find them.
Oh, I tried 'going out & getting it' once or twice; but--as I don't have 'a car' or 'a substantial-enough-for-two-or-three income' or the like--I then focused so much upon the girl-of-interest that I became more a creepy, stalker-ish bother than -a passionate love-interest.
I suppose this is the main reason men 'focus on career'---to make women happy (narrowing that focus to only one woman ASAP). But this (writing advice for FREE, taking a share of the ad-revenue) is what I want to do! How can I make this income 'substantial-enough-for-two-or-three'?
(I know that looks more like a "make money"- or "make extra money"-question, but I do it all for "love!" 
)
I guess I need to be married and THEN get a substantially-paying career, but what girl is 'clear-minded'-enough to reason that--since I was killed-&-maimed (pictures too graphic for even-me!) and yet have survived this long--I will surely be able to build a fortune for her?... which I give to her when she shares it with me
Where does one find such a girl?
)
I guess I need to be married and THEN get a substantially-paying career, but what girl is 'clear-minded'-enough to reason that--since I was killed-&-maimed (pictures too graphic for even-me!) and yet have survived this long--I will surely be able to build a fortune for her?... which I give to her when she shares it with me
Where does one find such a girl?3 people like this
17 responses
@mythociate (21432)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
25 Oct 12
"Bloody well roight" ... was Supertramp Austrailian?
@mythociate (21432)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
24 Oct 12
I think the saying is 'you can't see the forest because of the trees.' I.e. I may not be able to look at the bigger picture until I get my mind off 'little things.'
@GemmaR (8517)
•
2 Oct 12
One of the things that you have to remember is that if you're spending too much time looking for the right person then you probably won't be able to do so. You really need to be able to relax and just go about your life as you normally would. If you do this then you would find that you may find somebody when you least expect it. I didn't have a partner for a long time, but then as soon as I stopped looking for one, he came along just as a friend at first but then it turned into something more, which is something that I am very glad about.
1 person likes this
@mythociate (21432)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
2 Oct 12
Good advice. Hopeless, but good 
(And--as my patron-saint is St. Jude, the saint of hopeless causes--you'd think I'da known that!)
(And--as my patron-saint is St. Jude, the saint of hopeless causes--you'd think I'da known that!)
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
3 Oct 12
Well, it's hard to find a girl that love us in what we have. Most of the girls today are being materialistic and always looking for good thing and money.
But I am sure you can find the right girl in your heart. Because I believe there is still good girl that not consider money to get marriage...or to have a relationship that last forever.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
3 Oct 12
Most girls are materialistic? How about most men? Egocentric, grabbing around, wanting a woman to pay for everything, be a good house, free housekeeper and working full time! I have been in many countries, lived their as well and I only met men too lazy to work, just spending most time of the day sitting under a tree or in a pub, drinking and complaining, where women and children work.
1 person likes this
@mythociate (21432)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
4 Oct 12
Wanting women and children (who are free to do the work) to do all the work? Sounds more "opportunistic" than "materialistic."
And women are naturally more-attracted to guys with lots of 'power' (part of that's "money" but--at least in Oklahoma City--that also includes "the power to get you from 'point A' to 'point B' in a hurry"). Even if I do meet anyone who cares for me, there'll always be plenty of guys with lots of power who will take her away with a little wink 
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
4 Oct 12
I'd have to agree with WakeupKitty, there were a lot of lazy men depending on their ladies to do most of the things. Working moms as we call them. They need to go to work outside, and even they're tired they still manage to attend to their hubby and children's needs.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
3 Oct 12
You don't need to tire yourself searching for the right person for you. It will just come at the right time. As I would always say, "Don't look for love. Let love find you.".
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
4 Oct 12
I think you would want a person because of who you are and not because of what you have, right? A person who can love you no matter what state you are in is the one that you can be sure of staying with you. Material things could be "plus points" for you but a person you deserve is one that can love you more than anything in the world.
@mythociate (21432)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
24 Oct 12
Yeah, I'm not sure that's how it works. 'How it works' is, the person I deserve (who deserves me) is someone that's 'used-to living with my problems.'
@mythociate (21432)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
4 Oct 12
Maybe that saying works for most people, but I need some extra help to catch up with most people---something to make up for 'the extra charisma "having a car" and "having a well-paying job" and "having the ability to run, dance, balance over unsteady terrain etc." brings.'
(Most people--including myself, years ago--take that kinda stuff for "granted." But a sweet girl will 'flock to one with that charisma like a moth to a flame' before she'll even slow down for long enough to see that I'm not really worth it without giving more than she can give.)
@crimsonose80 (283)
• Canada
2 Oct 12
Hi..I would suggest to take your time and try not to rush it..I find that if you wait and try not to push the matter then it will come to you..The more you try, the harder it is to find that perfect girl for you, because you are trying too hard..Try to build frienships first before you try dating them..
I would suggest to continue to do the things that you enjoy doing. Try to have as much as you can and enjoy other peoples' company without having a girl by your side..Try to build frienships first with a female friend before you start dating.
I understand what you're going through..A lot of us wants to find their soul-mate and as long as the desire is there then it will come to you..Praying about it helps also..God gives the desires of your heart..
There is always that pressure to have a career so that we can earn more money in order to provide for a family some day..
As long as you work hard and not be dependent on others then money shouldn't be that much of a factor.. If she loves you for who you are regardless how much money you make then you picked the right woman for you..
@mythociate (21432)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
2 Oct 12
Praying doesn't bring things; it only helps make you more-aware of how to get them and/or -helps other people see that their help is needed. (God--you remember--"knows what you pray for even before you ask it.")
And I AM dependent ... unemployable due to brain-injury. Which also keeps me from doing all the things I enjoy (as--in Oklahoma City--going anywhere means 'using an automobile,' which I will never do).
@mythociate (21432)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
4 Oct 12
No, God provides BEFORE you ask. 'Your asking' just confirms TO YOURSELF (and to other humans) that you think you know what you need, and gets-you to start looking for it (or something to fill the same need) & -those who love you to start looking for what can fill your need (or whatever you're asking for).
And if anything can 'fix' my brain-injury, it depends on ME to accept it and possibly -to do what's necessary (probably more 'therapy' ... therapy cures EVERYTHING! 
)
)@crimsonose80 (283)
• Canada
3 Oct 12
God does know your desires even before you ask them...I've been to bible studies so i have some knowledge in that..He's not going to give it to you if you don't ask.."Ask and you shall receive"...
I'm so sorry for the bad things that had happened to you. I hope there will be a miracle for you to fix your brain injury and fix your confidence again..
@leeandrew (1225)
• Philippines
4 Oct 12
When I was young I used to dream or imagine of mr. right for me. I used to fantasized reason I love to watch romantic movies and read roman novels. But when I get older and got crushes my younger dreams became a bit different as well. Then I got boy friends and they were totally different from what I was dreaming of and hoping for.
Until when I reach the age of 25 I finally got serious and that was the time I prayed earnestly about my life time partner. Then God id indeed answers prayers and now I live with my beloved husband.
I think prayer is the answer to get the right person for someone looking for one.
@mythociate (21432)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
4 Oct 12
No, your prayer hypnotized you into seeing the world with hopeful eyes. YOUR HOPE was the power that answered that little prayer there.
"Some of God's greatest gifts ... are Unanswered Prayers." --Garth Brooks song
@macdingolinger (10386)
• United States
2 Oct 12
Maybe there are actually some girls out there who while they know there is a need for money, understand that there is more to a relationship than that. Perhaps there is at least one woman in the world that would marry for love...instead!
However, I do understand your concerns as one should provide for their household. I started out on penny sites and make a decent living writing online content now. It's about finding connections.. keep working you will get there.
@mythociate (21432)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
2 Oct 12
Cool! 
I'll go to your profile & see if I can subscribe to any of your stuff.
I'll go to your profile & see if I can subscribe to any of your stuff.
@mythociate (21432)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
4 Oct 12
I think I explained what happens when I try to 'see the one right in front of me': 'I tried 'going out & getting it' once or twice; but--as I don't have 'a car' or 'a substantial-enough-for-two-or-three income' or the like--I then focused so much upon the girl-of-interest that I became more a creepy, stalker-ish bother than -a passionate love-interest.'
It seems to me that someone with 'all those things' could so-easily steal the girl away from me that I have to be sure to almost-constantly remind her that it's ME who needs her! 
@acrossnation (773)
• Malaysia
3 Oct 12
Hi mythociate, all men needs a career for their own good as a men you know. Those live on love and fresh air was so yesterday even if the girl aggrees her family might not. We got to work to be succeed and multi tasking job is in with the technologies available . How would you give surerity that someone's daughter will be in the safe hands when there is none on your side. I dont agree that one have to do something to some extend like finding money to make the women happy and that focus is so weak that you might lost your reasons if it turn out to be otherwise. Have you ever give a thought what if you met someone of a rich family, so what is the value of money you intend to supply her
@mythociate (21432)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
4 Oct 12
Where did you read that I intend to supply money?
@natliegleb (5175)
• India
2 Oct 12
its all about timing and you need to wait for her to find you ,just be patient and all things will shape out quite easily.they will come searching for you
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
4 Oct 12
Financial security is one of the things that girls looks for nowadays. But I must say, not all girls are like that. Some girls may have that on their list, but when our hearts take over... it wouldn't matter if you are rich or poor, with a stable job or not... with a good or bad past. You just have to be cool and wait for the right one... neither you or her will do the searching... someone will come along one day. Best of luck.
@squallming (1775)
• Malaysia
4 Oct 12
I met some girls and dated some of them. I would say that girls would always look for guys that meet several criteria. As most girls are good future planner, they would like to make sure that their life would turn out to be something sweet and special. I must say that you can first start with two things. They are the career that you mentioned yourself and the way you approach people. That includes how you communicate and show genuine interest in having a serious relationship. Good luck there mate.
@Angelpink (4034)
• Philippines
3 Oct 12
I am on my way ..just wait sir !!! LOL ..joke ! I believe there is really one for you , just wait. You may find it in very unexpected place , so never mind chasing her , she will come in God's time.
@mythociate (21432)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
4 Oct 12
If she's waiting in an unexpected place, she'll probably never see me; because I only go out to one or two or three or four EXPECTED places.
@carloscourtney (17)
• United States
3 Oct 12
My opinion for you bro, is that you should just chill, lay back, and relax a bit. Dont worry so much about finding a girl, and this in-turn will be the way you actually get one. My opinion is that girls have a 6th sense that lets them know when someone is desperate and that is an immediate turn off. not to say that you are desperate, but if when you meet a nice girl, all you can think about is if shell be your girlfriend, then you basically just turned her off. Just be yourself, dont think about it, and the right girl will turn up sooner or later.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
2 Oct 12
Believe it or not there is woman who will love you as is. She won't look at your wallet but your character.She will already have her own money Besides, you do not deserve a golddigger! She won't see you as a stalker but attentive. Why? Because she seeks that attention. And as long as you don't mind her earning more money than you then it will be fine. The only thing you can do is get out there. Do the hobbies you are passionate about. She maybe there too.
@jahernandezrivas (11288)
• United States
2 Oct 12
Well I am sure you will find the right one it just takes time so all I can I really say is hang in there and good luck to you. Hope you will find the right one soon.
@riyauro (6421)
• India
2 Oct 12
There are some girls who do not look at the money but the heart and it is though very rare but they do exist. I tell you when I met my hubby, he was nothing and because of me he has changed alot and tells me all the time that he wants to live for me. Everyone's day comes and if you are poor today, you will be rich tomorrow as no one has seen the future. So just relax and be alert. maybe that girl is somewhere around you and you can't see her. look around and be cool, you will find her. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead
