How to tell my Grandmother...

@aejey322 (1004)
Philippines
October 2, 2012 9:11pm CST
My grandmother is already 84 years old. She was diagnosed with liver cancer early last year. But we never told her about it because she easily gets depressed even with just some simple problems. We just told her that the result of her laboratory tests is just some "old age" diagnosis. But miraculously, she's still doing fine, except for her complains on her arthritis and sometimes cannot control herself from urinating anymore (her gall bladder was actually also affected). So she wears diaper. But she still can go for a stroll at the park and even at the malls. Just this morning, my mom received a call from her cousin. Our grandma's sister in Cebu died yesterday. She was the only sister left out of her siblings because their other sister died last year. But she still has 2 brothers though... My mom immediately called me to inform me about it. And she said coincidentally our grandma called her this morning too requesting if my mom could accompany her to visit our uncle. My mom was worried because she doesn't know how to inform our grandma. I told her maybe if they arrive at my uncle's house, they can calmly open about it so she won't be shocked by the news. But it is really difficult... I know how our grandma will feel, but I hope she won't be seriously affected so she won't get depressed...
1 person likes this
7 responses
@pals101 (2010)
• Philippines
3 Oct 12
I think you need to tell her about this, eventually she will know about this. But make sure she is not having any problems in her body before telling her. Make sure she is doing well and fine, make her comfortable and explain to her briefly but in a happy way that her sister has passed away, and make the whole family is there to comfort her, in this way nothing can depressed her.. I am praying for your family good health and safety.. God Bless you all!! --Happy Mylotting--
1 person likes this
@pals101 (2010)
• Philippines
6 Oct 12
I guess who have to allow her to go, really need to see her sister's wake. I think it would be good for her, so she will not be lonely enough. Just be sure to accompany and comfort her always there.
@aimuel9 (17)
• Philippines
3 Oct 12
well,it's really difficult to tel your grandmother about it most especially to what condition she has now but you have no choice but to tel her because its her right to know about it.. tel her in a right time and in a right place where you feel that she is strong enough to accept it...
@aejey322 (1004)
• Philippines
4 Oct 12
It is actually the doctor's advise not to inform her about her cancer. Because old aged people are easily down emotionally. The doctor said just let her enjoy her remaining years normally. But he also said it will up to us if we follow his advice. But he gave some pain relievers just in case she feels pain. And we also gave her some alternative herbal medicine which eventually helped her. The last lab result, the cancer cells have not grown. I was wrong with her age. She will be turning 88 this monthend, not 84...
@shaggin (72116)
• United States
3 Oct 12
My father in law just got diagnosed with liver cancer as well. He isnt doing well at all. They have to find out where the cancer started because it spread to his liver from somewhere else. I know before the doctors couldnt figure out why he was having to get up about 10 times a night to urinate sounds now like it has something to do with the liver cancer. It has to be hard to tell your grandmother this bad news but I do think that she really does need to know so you probably shouldnt put it off. I know you arent going to from what you write but I dont know what you should do to make it easier for her. I hope she will be ok after hearing this news. You know she will be very upset but hopefully it doesnt make her health worse.
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@aejey322 (1004)
• Philippines
4 Oct 12
She already knew about the news. Good thing is, she wasn't even showing any negative reactions. Yes she was sad because she lost her sister. But she accepted it in a calm way.
@marguicha (222855)
• Chile
3 Oct 12
For me it is very important to know what is happening to my body as a part of what is happening in my whole being. That was what I told a doctor over a year ago so he made more tests than he would usually do, considering how I looked. And I had cancer and I am being treated for it. I do my part and manage my life instead of having an illness take control over me. I would tell your grandmother what she has and all the other news.
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@aejey322 (1004)
• Philippines
4 Oct 12
It will be easier if my grandmother is like you. But she isn't. And the doctor said there will be no more medications to be given except for pain relievers, because of her age. I also was wrong with what I wrote. She's already turning 88 this month, not 84...
@BabyCheetah (1911)
• Australia
3 Oct 12
Sometimes it seems ignorance is bliss but at the same time you probably feel it's wrong to keep the truth from her. It would be very hard given that she gets depressed easily and might think negatively about it. This is a tough one and I don't really want to give an opinion on what should be done. So I just hope no matter what the decision that everything will turn out well and she will be happy
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@meowchie (992)
• Philippines
3 Oct 12
I hope too.. Aside from the sickness itself, another thing that makes a person weak is depression. I had an aunt who had symptoms of cancer, but eventually after a couple of check-ups,it was not really cancer. Sad thing is she had her mind set that her sickness is cancer.. So her body doesn't go well with the medications. She can't sleep well. She keeps on crying.. So less than a year of starting the check ups, she passed away. Her body wasn't willing. I hope your Grandma won't feel much pain and hope she gets well completely :) God bless !
1 person likes this
• Canada
3 Oct 12
First of all I would like to empathize with you and your family regarding your Grandmother's diagnosis..It's really hard to tell someone about an illness that's going to affect their lives and having to live with it until she fights it off.. I understand what you're going through especially if you're grandmother is already going through the pain of losing a sister.. I would suggest getting the family get together and tell her the news ..I would be with her side and try to give her as much support as she can handle..Praying to God about it will give her hope for the future and ask for God's strength to walk with her throughout this difficult time..