I'm worth waiting for

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I wrote this poem 7 years ago, when I unintentionally fell for a close friend. His gf was a close friend too, but since I've know the guy since I was young, we've got more years of friendship than the gf, whom I just met when I was in college. I was browsing my old files here on my PC and found this Word Doc entitled "wait for me" I fell for him because he was really nice and sweet that time. Only to find out (just recently) he actually had a feeling for me but can't tell me because of the "friendship" we're into. So during our sweet days of friendship, there came a time that I decided to push him away and we parted ways.. That was 2005..We always see each other on occasions and church gatherings but pretended not to see each other. Whenever he speaks to us in a group, I pretend not to hear him same as he doesn't hear me when I talk. We only talked again just last October 2011 when he asked me to do a special favor for him. So without talking about our past, I gave him a smile and said.. "sure. what is it?.. any favor you ask me, ofc I'd do it to a dear buddy like you.. i think i miss you a little" (lol)... then he answered.. please do my wedding invitation.. I have a new gf, and I got her pregnant during our 2nd month.. (aww!) But i felt nothing. I've moved on and finally we ended as friends :) Read if you have spare time. thanks =) sorry for the grammar, I was younger then.. “I'm worth waiting for” I say life is so unfair Because I love someone who doesn't care He’s been on my mind every hour, everyday And just close to him is where I want to stay I have never felt this way before And seeing him always makes me love him more 'He’s so insensitive' 'He’s such a dumb' But because of him I have become a numb My friends tell me he doesn't deserve me And that he’s just a nothing, a nobody maybe These words got stuck inside my mind Yet still I admire him with reasons I can’t find I remember all these years that passed So now I truly disagree with '1st impression never lasts' For long ago he’s just a silly friend But look at me now with heartaches so hard to mend Was it because he’s very nice? Or maybe just of his twinkling eyes? Could also be his gentle voice? That makes me say, 'He is my choice! ” Another maybe is his loving gesture That made me felt I’m a special treasure But honestly I really don’t know The innermost reason why I like him so As far as I can remember it happened really fast For just a night, how flattering it was That time he’s just my old time pal And I for him was a simple gal I just stayed with him to talk for a while But looks like I got drown with his crazy smile Next thing indeed was a history That I had even wrote on my diary I’m supposed only to comfort him Because I guess that’s his saddest night that I've ever seen I cheered him up to ease his pain Shame on me now, the one in vain At first I thought I was just confused With this feeling inside that is about to boost I said that I just pity him so bad Now falling for him was the hardest thing I had Can’t believe that liking him would be possible I think about him above almost all All the stupid favors he had asked me to do Are done at my pleasure just for him to like me too But how come I’m not treated the same? Is there something about me he is to be ashamed? Or still the reason is his former love, which still brings him back to the feelings they have? I get jealous when they’re together Although I know they are official lovers What pain it brings when they are happy Though I’m the one who teases them with a heart crying silently How joyous I am when they broke up All those following days, I laughed and laughed Then a hope grew deep inside my heart That finally in his busy life I’ll have a part Still I was treated just the same And if ever I’ll be his girl would be just a game Meaning, he is truly a fool Doesn't he know the golden rule? I tried to ignore the feeling inside When I see him comes I try to hide Still this move doesn't help a lot For I can’t resist the feeling of craving I got Another thing that bothers me again Is that if he and his ex are really insane After all the hates and the cursing words Their back to the love scene that made me bored Their back again to give me pain Yet I’m the only one who is to be blame For nobody knows what I’m going through That I get hurt to see those two Until now I promised to treat them right As sweet as possible just not to start a fight A ready-to-listen- friend to the girl I envy And for the guy I love, a comforting -dependable- martyr, a 'girlfriend wannabe' maybe I don’t know when this sacrifice would last I just want to let the heavy days move fast Maybe by that I’ll easily move on And just try to make our relationship as FRIENDS be strong Would you now agree? I was treated wrong I’m taken for granted by the one I long I have loved him so with all honesty But what happened to me now was all but a misery Now I want to be hurt no more Because I have this few words for you boy, 'I’m worth waiting for'… -but he didn't wait for me :p maybe another guy will! LOL