I'm soon to be a first time mother, any advice or wisdom to share? :)
By Dianax3
@Dianax3 (48)
United States
October 3, 2012 9:41am CST
I'm 18 years old yes young but please don't judge me based on that. I will be 19 when I have my daughter. I picked out her name. It's going to be Daniella Maya :) I'm so happy and excited, I want to be the best mother I could ever be to her. She truly is the best thing to happen to me. I just feel this glow from within, so much love for someone I havent even had in my arms
1 person likes this
11 responses
@kemak28 (724)
• United States
3 Oct 12
Congrats to you and what a pretty name!! It's hard to explain the feeling you will have that first time holding your daughter. For me it was wonderful and unlike anything I have experienced and everyday with her is so special. My daughter is now 17 months old and it's been so fun watching her grow. When are you due?
@kemak28 (724)
• United States
3 Oct 12
Her name is Carly. December isn't too far off I'm sure you are excited!! The only advice I can give you is to just try to have patience through some of the rough times when the baby will be crying or you might be lacking on some sleep...it will pass as they get older and get easier. I tended to sometimes stress when I was going on not a lot of sleep but it got better. If others offer you help take them up on it. My mother in law was very helpful during the early months and I am very grateful. Just enjoy every moment because they grow up so quickly. I also bought a book for her first year that I filled out month by month its nice and you put in a picture of them each month. Its a nice thing to look back on and something nice for your daughter to have one day. If you want the name of the book let me know, I got it on amazon.com.
@kemak28 (724)
• United States
3 Oct 12
Thanks.. I have always loved the name : ) The book is called My baby book: a keepsake journal for the baby's first year. It's by Amy Krouse Rosenthal. I also bought another one by her called the birthday book that is similar and you fill out for each of their birthdays. They're like $10 on Amazon.com
@kaka135 (14931)
• Malaysia
3 Oct 12
Hi Dianax3,
Congratulations on your baby! It'll be really great and wonderful when you hold your baby. I always imagined my baby sleeping next to me when I was pregnant, and after he was born, he really slept beside me, and I kept looking at him. The feeling was so nice! It' hard to explain the feeling, but mothers will surely understand and feel that.
I always think it's mother's responsibilities to fulfill the baby's need, though some said that you might spoil the baby, but why not? My second baby is 3 month old now, and I always carry her whenever she needs me to. She doesn't sleep well in the day time, and she sleeps well when I am carrying her, and hence I always carry her in order to make her sleep well. Babies need lots of sleep, and I think I am doing the right thing, though people around me are too concern about me, saying that I will spoil her that way, and it makes me suffer. I don't feel suffering at all, and I really enjoy it. Of course, if my baby can sleep on the bed by herself well, I'll put her on the bed. I don't carry her 24 hours a day, but as long as she needs me, I will do so.
I always have this in my mind - the baby, the child will not be at your side forever, he will grow up, he will soon leave you and have his own life. So, when you can hold him with you, do so, do it with your love. That's why I don't mind spending all my time with my children, as others said I'm too "suffering". Spending time with children is really wonderful, and I really enjoy that.
Sometimes, there may be too many comments around you. But, as you are the mother, you know your child well, so do always listen to yourself more.
Enjoy your motherhood!
@kaka135 (14931)
• Malaysia
3 Oct 12
Well, regarding to the crying part, I always believe baby cries for a reason. You just need to find out what his need is, whether he is hungry, sleepy, he just peed or pooed, he is not feeling well, or he just needs you to carry him for comfort and security. Baby is insecure because he was suddenly brought to the outside world, without any protection around him, hence he always needs comfort.
Some people would say, let him cry and he will get used to it, otherwise if you always carry him, he will always cry and make you carry him. I've read that when the baby get used to "you not carry him", hence he doesn't cry anymore, that is because he already gives up, he knows you are not going to carry him, he actually feels hurt already, he has no confidence on you anymore.
Also, baby always cry when he is tired and sleepy. Kid is like that too. Some people also said, since the baby is so tired, why not just sleep, why cry? I've also read that, baby can't fall asleep easily. They are tired, but can't sleep, can you imagine how discomfort he is? Hence, he cry. So, I always think it's our responsibility to make him feel comfort, and bring him to sleep well. Some adults can't fall asleep when they are tired too, they understand how suffering it is, so why can't we understand the babies?
Some people said I spoil my kids, but I don't think so, I think I am just doing something which I think a mother should do - to protect my kids, and let them feel secured and comfortable. 
@Dianax3 (48)
• United States
3 Oct 12
Thank you so much that was really good advice. I completely agree with you my sister lets her daughter cry it out and I just want to grab her. I say whatever works for your family do. But I too personally cant just let her cry for an hour. And I just can't wait to hold her. And awww thats so true one day my little one aint going to be so little and she going to want to make her life. These are the moments to cherish thanks for your input I will not take for granted the time I have with her.
1 person likes this
@Dianax3 (48)
• United States
3 Oct 12
I really love your views their very insightful that is so true why would the baby cry for absolutely no reason. That's so sad but I can see that, if you are not comforting your baby how they would give up eventually not counting on you for comfort. I think your a very good mother, I hope I can be a good mother to but your very wise and i appreciate you writing all this it really helps.
@bretay61 (722)
• United States
3 Oct 12
Unfortunately kids don't come with manuals.So its a trial and error process.Follow your gut instinct and you will be fine.I had my 1st one at 15 the 2nd at 17 and 21 for the 3rd.Enjoy the years when they are small,because they grow up so fast.My oldest daughter has 2 daughters ages 11 and almost 8.And holding your daughter for the 1st time is an awarding experience.You will feel that special bond.Unconditional love.Good luck and enjoy your little one.
@powerpuffgirls (627)
• Philippines
4 Oct 12
The way you express yourself in this discussion gives me positive goosebumps feeling. You are truly happy of what has been given to you and that is really into it and that is a nice thought :)
I am still not in the stage of having my own baby and a mother stage but I think the feeling of having your own blood running in your soon to be baby is really something to look after at. The way you describe your feelings, I feel it while reading. :) So I think I will feel the same to as what you felt ^^
CONGRATULATIONS by the way on achieving a new chapter of your life :) Just keep a positive outlook in life and you will be a great mother to her :)
@powerpuffgirls (627)
• Philippines
4 Oct 12
Wow~ you thinking that way will sure make your baby happy ^u^ You will definitely be a great mother to her/him :)
@jajangCSG (3)
•
4 Oct 12
you will be the best mother ,just relaxing to adapted ,throw out bad reasson
@emerillus (467)
• Philippines
5 Oct 12
Hi Dianax3! Such a nice name for your baby.
I must admit at first I was so scared when I held my baby for the first time. But after several minutes I feel instantly connected to him, no doubt. All I can say is just enjoy your baby while she is still little, they grow up so fast! I do enjoy watching my baby grow up and taking note of his milestones, like crawling, teething, etc. I suggest you take pictures of your baby through each milestone, or even every month and putting the pictures in an album, like what I did. It's fun and a very nice gift perhaps when she grows old enough to appreciate it. Have a happy journey through parenting!
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
5 Oct 12
I don't have a kid yet but I've heard that the happiness may overflow that you'll burst into tears.
@kris3rdE (156)
• Philippines
3 Oct 12
hi Dianax!
Congrats! Daniella Maya is a nice name. Seeing and holding my newborn gave me different emotions. Proud, Happy, Love, Excited and Scared all at the same time. Spend quality time with your daughter because they grow up so fast.
Welcome to motherhood!
@Dianax3 (48)
• United States
3 Oct 12
Thank you so much. I feel like i would feel mixed emotions like I think I'd be in awe that I delivered a life like woah women are so amazing. I applaud all you mothers who do it day and out and do the extra effort to be good mothers there to many people who take the easy way out, nothing in lifes easy but its alays worth it in the end.
@ebony_77 (42)
• United States
13 Oct 12
I was you when I had my first daughter. She came so quick I didnt have time to prepare, but it was the greatest feeling having her. It was hard for me raising her because i was homeless. but I raised her. She is now 18 and graduating high school. I wouldnt trade her for the world. What i will tell you is its not going to be easy, you will make mistakes but don't worry about it and don't beat yourself up. learn from them. I hope the father of your baby will be there to help you. Love on your baby, Don't argue in front of your baby because it can sense something is wrong. Don't let everybody hold your baby, don't let them spoil it, or it will be worse for you. Congradulations and I wish you well.
@Traycee (34)
• United States
5 Oct 12
What a beautiful name you have chosen for your little princess! I can FEEL your happiness from within. It is a pure joy to have your firstborn. My first was a girl also, she was absolutely beautiful, head full of hair. Some advice, make sure you go to school and have a career so you can raise your baby. Don't ever depend on anybody else. I'm sure you will have alot of help, but, try to do as much as you can to make your and your baby's life wonderful! You will end up being PROUD of yourself!! I wish you the very best!
