Thinking of Posting my Old Poems.
@barood4money (376)
India
October 3, 2012 10:11am CST
There was a time when i was very alone. That time my broken heart was with me. That time my feelings went through my pen and became words.. Now i want to share those words. Maybe they are not so good.. I don't know whether people will like it or not.. Here is the first writing..
You'll Find Someone Else.
Age of six
He loved her so
And everyday
He'd let her know
"I love you Grace"
He'd say each day
She'd just laugh
And run away
Till one day
She turned around
And sat with him
One the playground
"I'm sorry Chris
I don't love you
You'll find someone else
Who loves you too"
High school came
They met again
They laughed about
The things back then
They began to date
And fell in love
He got the girl
That he'd dreamed of
But when college came
Everything changed
They were apart
With lives rearranged
"We'll be fine Grace"
But she had doubt
She turned and said
"It won't work out"
"I'm sorry Chris
I can't love you
You'll find someone else
Who loves you too"
In their twenties
They met again
They laughed about
The things back then
He took her hand
They began to dance
Remembering
Their old romance
Two years later
She became his wife
They'd be together
All of their life
They went on a drive
When it was no longer light
They drove down the roads
Of the starry night
The music came on
She started to sing
He whispered, "Grace
You're my everything"
But they suddenly
In one big flash
Headlights shone
As their car crashed
He saw her laying
Down on the ground
He felt his tears
Start rolling down
"Grace..." he cried
She took his hand
"I have to leave...
Please understand"
"I love you so much
It's always been true
But you'll find someone else
And you'll love again too"
"No," he cried
"It's always been you
I don't want someone else
I only want you"
And there on that street
Is where he cried
Hugging his love
As she slowly died....
3 people like this
6 responses
@flapiz (23148)
• United Kingdom
8 Oct 12
Wow! This gave me goosebumps. It actually brought me close to tears. It's a very beautiful poem.
@watersprite (168)
•
3 Oct 12
Nicely written, you've done well to keep all the lines in all the verses a similar length, in many poems I've seen the lines get longer and longer. The poem conveys the emotions very well, I do hope that the sad ending is fictional, though broken hearts can often feel this way. You've got a couple of errors I presume it's with having to re-type the thing into mylot, just another 495 posts and you can use paste, I can't wait for that, I have a number of un-published items which need constructive feedback. I would happily read more, but I believe the mylot rules state there must be a discussion topic, so just be careful how you phrase it, I'd hate to miss out on more of these.
@barood4money (376)
• India
3 Oct 12
Thanks for the compliments. And also thanks for the pointing the errors. I will make sure that it will not happen again. I will also look after the advice. Iam looking forward to read your un-published items.. :)
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
1 Nov 12
Thank you so much for sharing this touching poem with us. I was so sad while reading the last few lines. This is not an end I expect, but it was a feeling you had back to then. Yes? Anyway, I think that this is a well-written poem because it deeply moved me.
When I was young, I also wrote some poems about my feelings back then. Now my diaries are all gone and I cannot remember what exactly was written there. Now I can not find any inspiration to write another poem of mine. Thanks again for the poem and enjoy writing.
@ARIES1973 (11426)
• Legaspi, Philippines
3 Nov 12
What a lovely poem!
I'm glad i take time to read. This is really wonderful!
Have a nice day!
@riyauro (6421)
• India
3 Oct 12
well i liked it very much and i would say these days i am reading lot of poems. Just and hour ago I read another long poem like yours from another mylotter and i loved it. So I guess there are some really creative poets around here on mylot. good work. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead. 
@barood4money (376)
• India
3 Oct 12
Thank you very much for loving it. Iam not a poet. Just sometimes i write what my heart says. It will encourage me to share rest of the poems. :)
@colorfullife4all (41)
• Singapore
7 Nov 12
i love unique poems... i so love to write poems... may it short or long. poems just out of the box! :) nice one from yours... keep on posting!
