Free Coaching classes in the art of Negative thinking..
By vanny
@vandana7 (100249)
India
October 5, 2012 4:05pm CST
I dont believe it..you actually chose to come here..
Did you come here because you saw the word Free..
or was you curious? 
Getting down to serious business..
a. Always think others are out to get you
b. Always eat irregularly and avoid healthy food
c. Drink less water take less fluids
d. Avoid excercises like plague
e. Watch only sad movies that ensure a lot of tears
f. Look for worst outcomes in every situation and magnify them so much that you cannot see any possibility of positive outcomes
g. Fear everything, even the ant (trust me it bites)
h. Trust nobody because there is a devil in everybody, right?
i. Stop enjoying music, or other art forms. They are such deterrants to your objective.
j. Always criticize your maid, and juniors. It helps to make you feel superior, and feel bad that they are not obeying you.
k. Try to be less than honest about others virtues because if you are honest, its an indirect admission that you are not as virtuous.
l. Always compare with others who have more than you and tell yourself you've been so good, why did god not give you everything, at least as much as that person.
m. Dont fall in love. Fall in love with the idea called love.
n. Try to fight with a few. It helps. You can always spend sometime complaining about them to others.
Ok..that is enough for the day..
Hey this is a free lesson you cant expect more...
Many of those tips are tried and tested. So I can vouch they are very effective. Vandy certified.
Did you come here because you saw the word Free..
or was you curious?
Getting down to serious business..
a. Always think others are out to get you
b. Always eat irregularly and avoid healthy food
c. Drink less water take less fluids
d. Avoid excercises like plague
e. Watch only sad movies that ensure a lot of tears
f. Look for worst outcomes in every situation and magnify them so much that you cannot see any possibility of positive outcomes
g. Fear everything, even the ant (trust me it bites)
h. Trust nobody because there is a devil in everybody, right?
i. Stop enjoying music, or other art forms. They are such deterrants to your objective.
j. Always criticize your maid, and juniors. It helps to make you feel superior, and feel bad that they are not obeying you.
k. Try to be less than honest about others virtues because if you are honest, its an indirect admission that you are not as virtuous.
l. Always compare with others who have more than you and tell yourself you've been so good, why did god not give you everything, at least as much as that person.
m. Dont fall in love. Fall in love with the idea called love.
n. Try to fight with a few. It helps. You can always spend sometime complaining about them to others.
Ok..that is enough for the day..
Hey this is a free lesson you cant expect more...
Many of those tips are tried and tested. So I can vouch they are very effective. Vandy certified.2 people like this
10 responses
@allknowing (136081)
• India
6 Oct 12
"Do Opposites Attract or Do Birds of a Feather Flock Together?"
That's why I am here. Choice is yours!
From little what I know about you I can trust you when you say
Many of those tips are tried and tested. So I can vouch they are very effective.
From little what I know about you I can trust you when you say
Many of those tips are tried and tested. So I can vouch they are very effective. 1 person likes this
@vandana7 (100249)
• India
6 Oct 12
First..
"Do Opposites Attract or Do Birds of a Feather Flock Together?"
This deserves due weightage..
I am dark, you must be fair
I am poor, you must be rich
I am a crybaby, you must be a laughbaby
.....
So perhaps it is the opposites attract thing...
Now for birds of a feather stuff..
How can there be birds of a feather..I mean seriously allknowing..since you know it all..it can be birds with similar feather, but birds of a feather means something like siamese twins may be? 
lol
And finally,
If you say you trust me, and then go on to say that trust thing is not negative YOU IMPLY I AM A GOOD PERSON. 
Now for birds of a feather stuff..
How can there be birds of a feather..I mean seriously allknowing..since you know it all..it can be birds with similar feather, but birds of a feather means something like siamese twins may be? lol
And finally,
If you say you trust me, and then go on to say that trust thing is not negative YOU IMPLY I AM A GOOD PERSON. 1 person likes this
@allknowing (136081)
• India
6 Oct 12
Not everything is negative specially this one:
Trust nobody because there is a devil in everybody
1 person likes this
@allknowing (136081)
• India
6 Oct 12
There are so many other elements that could be compared not necessarily one's colour, ones wealth or even one's mood. Whatever be it, here I am responding and what more can an OP ask for! There is one thing that I am proud of and that is that I believe in myself. I do not know about you.
There is one thing that I am proud of and that is that I believe in myself. I do not know about you.1 person likes this
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
5 Oct 12
"h. Trust nobody because there is a devil in everybody, right?"
2 people like this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
6 Oct 12
Grrrr! I wonder what the purpose for ants? Yep! They do bite. At our previous house there were ant hills all over the place! Couldn't get rid of them. They even got in bed with me a few times for a midnight snack! Ouch!
2 people like this
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
6 Oct 12
I see a job opening for me somewhere
Now that you seem to have plans of opening up an Institute of your own, on this, I hope you wont mind sharing me the school where you went to learn all this... I would apply there for the post of the Head master(aka principal). Reason: I would not like to share my knowledge on these marvels and jewels but would love to gain some more for free
Now that you seem to have plans of opening up an Institute of your own, on this, I hope you wont mind sharing me the school where you went to learn all this... I would apply there for the post of the Head master(aka principal). Reason: I would not like to share my knowledge on these marvels and jewels but would love to gain some more for free1 person likes this
@grandpa_lash (5225)
• Australia
7 Oct 12
"Everything free has a price tag somewhere"
Exactly, and didn't the Russians find out quite quickly just how expensive the Free Market is?
Lash
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
6 Oct 12
Of course...
I will earn enough from that post to pay you as a student and then as my computer teachers did, you would ask me to join you and help in the classes... I am always open for teaching jobs and this is the latest in thing I suppose... your investment, your profits... my investment my salary... 
how is the deal?
how is the deal?1 person likes this
@Professor2010 (20162)
• India
6 Oct 12
Vandanaji
I will definitely join your free 
classes in December or early January, i am coming Hyderabad then
Thanks for this nice discussion, you made me smile.
I will definitely join your free classes in December or early January, i am coming Hyderabad then
Thanks for this nice discussion, you made me smile.1 person likes this
@Kalyni2011 (3496)
• India
6 Oct 12
I am also coming with him, we can attend daily, if place is near Habsiguda
Where is your home situated?; please give me your phone number via private message
Where is your home situated?; please give me your phone number via private message1 person likes this
@Kalyni2011 (3496)
• India
6 Oct 12
Please send in pm, thanks, i or hubby will call u
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
6 Oct 12
I always thought negative thinking was thinking of the worse that could happen to you, everyone hates you, God does not like you, God will not warn about things going bad if you go a certain way, you always getting the colds, you getting a disease even if one teenie weenie germ would not affect anyone else. I did not consider food choices lack of exercise a negative or eating bad food a negative. I always though it was a heart issue and not a body issue.
I like writing. It is a bit hard for me because my brain runs on overtime and when I get here, it suddenly stops.
One main negative is that adage if you can afford to buy that (fill in a luxury item) you can afford this (what others want you to do). But I d not suppose it is to do with negatives, but it does run into a negative in my mind, when I get false guilt about buying something I planned for.
@vandana7 (100249)
• India
6 Oct 12
Oh dear..this friend wants some serious stuff..
Ok..every positive has a negative aspect to it, ok? As I have quoted elsewhere, you brush your teeth, because your negative thinking tells you that if you dont, you will lose your teeth very fast. The whole point, is we have accepted those negative thoughts so much that we no longer think about them. Just because they are not thought about does not mean they do not exist.
Phew..I am sounding quite convincing isn't it?
@anurag3786 (6267)
• India
6 Oct 12
Hamm I think you have some more creative ideas. I like your some points. And it is totally free of costs. So I think many people like your discussions. Always give us some more good points.
@rambansal (574)
• India
6 Oct 12
Firstly, I love your creative idea of providing 'free' your tried and tested tips. For me, this most important tip is m. with slight modification - Don't fall in love, but rise in it.
I am a habitual fighter for my rights particularly against government officials who are fond of abridging people's rights. And I surely make a difference by my fights through complaining from the lowest to the highest level in succession.
I begin with doubting established practices, customs and traditions because these were embedded in our minds through over 1600 years of slavery after the Gupta dynasty rule over India. I wish to put an airtight lid on this period of slavery, and begin rebuilding afresh.
I have acute health-consciousness and prefer local, seasonal and most often ethnic foods and other things to live on.
And, all such thoughts and doing of mine are labelled 'positive' by me to be followed 'religiously' with my hate for all religions.
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
6 Oct 12
Thanks for the chuckle Vandy! I popped my eyes out on the word 'maid'. I'm the maid here. Not really. I'm just the chief cook and bottle washer. I love it. I couldn't pay a maid to do my dishes. My life isn't perfect, but it's mine and I love being me. My family and friends live me with my worts and all!
1 person likes this
