I dont want to take divorce :(
@kaileshturkar (38)
India
October 5, 2012 4:52pm CST
Hi,
Recently i got married with a beautiful girl, now she is my wife. Because of some misunderstanding between us and our family now she want to be divorce with me. I am more interested to solve the issue with discussion. However she is not interested to talk to me feeling SAD for my and my life. I am not able to understand what to do now.
9 responses
@ravisivan (14079)
• India
8 Oct 12
wHEN YOUR marriage took place? Why so suddenly girl wants divorce.
what are the reasons stated by her asking for divorce? Is it due to your habits or the problem is with your family people? if you give some details may be i can think of suggesting some ways.
@ravisivan (14079)
• India
8 Oct 12
kailesh:
I am now in Canada. Yesterday night I was thinking about your case only. sorry. Is the girl employed? What is the status of two families? Is your father employed?Were you living with parents or in a separate house? What is her educational qualification and what is her value system--respecting elders, belief in god. ?
@kaileshturkar (38)
• India
8 Oct 12
We got married on 23rd april 2012. She was good and trusted me previously when she was with me. Now she is with her parents and her parents were lying about me and my parents each and every time. and after that she was asking me for divorce but i don't want divorce
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
6 Oct 12
In my opinion, I think that you should give her time to think things through. Most of the time, people just say things out of anger was she angry when she said she wanted a divorce. I say just let her thinks things through and then try to talk to her again and try to reason things out. Ask her why she is so upset. And take it from there. Ask her what you can do to fix this and tell her how much you love her.
@ravisivan (14079)
• India
9 Oct 12
kailesh:
What is the truth of your life you have in mind? is it 24/7 time for office and no time for family. this no girl can agree. otherwise what is it?
@kaileshturkar (38)
• India
7 Oct 12
Hi Trisha,
I agree with you opinion that if people are in anger so you should have to give time to think but if any1 have misunderstanding so it will be better that we can discuss about the issue. And she already know that how much I LOVE HER she knows that very well now she is not able to accept the truth of our life. :'(
@GemmaR (8517)
•
6 Oct 12
If you don't want to end your marriage, then I don't think that there is any way that she can make you do so because you need to sign the papers willingly. I think that she owes it to you to talk alone without the pressure of her family so that you would be able do discuss any issues that you might have had. If then you find that she doesn't want to be with you anymore then there is little else that you can do about it and it might be for the best for the two of you if you just signed the papers so that you could both get on with your lives again.
@kaileshturkar (38)
• India
7 Oct 12
Hi GemmaR,
I dont want to end this because she have my respect and she have a very special place in my life that she knows already. However because of unnecessary thoughts on her mind she want this i am trying to convey her to think properly before act its all about our life, our future. Her parents have problem with my parents when she was with me everything was alright with us but now its like hell for me.
@venkataraman_vc (5293)
• Chennai, India
6 Oct 12
Do the family elders, yours and hers, know the situation? If not, both of you tell your problems to them and let them do the talking.
It's quite normal that this kind of misunderstanding develops in the early stage. Normally it takes 2 or 3 years to settle down. I mean, that's period it takes for both of you to understand each other.
I think your family elders will handle the situation well. Just tell one of your closest elder member of the family whom you think will handle it carefully, when he/she is private.
@ravisivan (14079)
• India
9 Oct 12
kailesh:
First you must change your mind that your parents are only interested in helping you two. Her parents are also interested in helping their daughter/inlaw also. develop confidence. if a girl gets message that her husband is totally not agreeing for participation/suggestion of her parents she will be agitated. she was brought up by them for 22/24 years. think. do not think i am finding fault with you only.
@kaileshturkar (38)
• India
7 Oct 12
Hi Venkatraman,
Our family members knows about the all situation. And she thinks that I am involving my parents in all maters however I respect my parents and her parents too. I am the only SON of my parents I don't have brother or sister, from my childhood I am not tacking any decision without them that's why i was involved my parents and they gave em a proper guidance.
Her parents were also involving in our life but the difference of the involvement of our parents are my parents were trying to helping me and my wife both to make a proper suitable decision without hamper any relationship and what her parents were guiding her that was hampering the relation not even between us even the relation with my parents also.
:'(
@simonelee (2715)
• China
6 Oct 12
How long you've been together if you don't mind? If very recent maybe your in a "adjustment period". Give time to understand each other differences and privacy( even you're living in one roof). If your In-Laws affect your relationship then it's time to move to other place/city to start your own life as married couple. Have a vacation and bring back those sweet actions when you're still girlfriend/boyfriend, don't force your partner to discuss the issue, just wait or look for timing. In-laws love to criticize your partner's flaws. It's their nature.
@kaileshturkar (38)
• India
7 Oct 12
Hi Simonelee,
I wont mind, I wont mind to tell you because i am here to discuss with you to take a proper decision to save our relationship without hampering the life of our elders.
Well she is my wife now and we got married on 23rd April 2012. There is no in-laws between us. Just our parents.
@Manasha (2735)
• Pondicherry, India
6 Oct 12
Based on my experiences as I have seen a lot of such incidents I can save your life. First leave her alone for some time so that she can come to a conclusion about her life. Never ever persuade her to live with you because later she can blame you for any silly thing.However, tell her about the good and bad things of the life. If she is not ready to listen better leave her as she likes. Wait for some time till she comes to live with you (don't go to her house for discussion). If none of the above things work,better divorce her so that you can lead a happy life. I have seen many people who are facing many hardships in their life after compromising many things. So,don't compromise for the sake .
@kaileshturkar (38)
• India
7 Oct 12
Hi Manasha,
Not agreed, I haven't did anything till now to save our relationship.
@lacieice (2060)
• United States
5 Oct 12
You don't really give a lot a details, so it's hard to understand exactly what the problem is. For one thing, family should have nothing to do with your relationship, but I guess both of you have allowed them to have too much influence on your lives.
@spazz435 (322)
• United States
6 Oct 12
It depends on the issue. If it is an issue to where it involves you deceiving her and you were hiding stuff from her before you got married. Then it would probably be best if you got a divorce. You could try to talk to her about it, but good luck trying to talk to her. If it was an issue that wasn't that big of a deal, something simple, then you should keep trying to talk to her because ruining a marriage isn't worth it if its not that bad.
@kaileshturkar (38)
• India
7 Oct 12
Hi Spazz,
I am trying to talk to her each and every movement of my life. But she is not interested to talk to me, I am calling her again and again if i am in the office or at home.
@rs1982 (99)
• United States
5 Oct 12
Oh..that is sad. Is it too big a misunderstanding? Maybe you should mail her. Try to talk through a common friend. It is sad when one wants to work it out and the other doesn't. See if she will talk to a friend and say why she is so upset..maybe you could work on it then...if you truly love her, leave no stone unturned to get her back in your life..
