Why I don't want kids!!!

Hi, after reading your post i feel you will make a good mother for sure. well if you think that there are lots of children in the world then yes but you have to have your own in sometime. Only you not having a baby will not solve the problem. It is like taking out a glass of water from the ocean does not make any difference to the Ocean. So just concentrate on your life, what you want in your life because all this problems will be and we have no time to think of others at this time. having one baby will be great for you. Oh when it comes to labor pain, that you can avoid also by choosing operation and it is not big one. I forgot how to spell the word it is like cizarian baby (don't know the right spelling ).. my cousins have gone for that. so think about it again. you might want one now ..Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.

every woman has the right to decide to be a mother or not. it's good that you already know that you don't want to be a mother. you're not alone in this matter. my stepmother didn't have any kids. my sisters and i are her only "kids". my husband's aunt decided she didn't want any kids when she was young. to this day, still doesn't and she's married! one of my best friends, she doesn't want kids and we're in our 40's. so stand firm in your beliefs. let no one tell you that you need to be a mother if you're not wanting to be one. you're not alone

I can understand your various concerns you have but don't you think it is way too early to determine and predict the future here? I think you should take things one step at a time, starting with yourself and your own life. I do not know if you had considered having children when you decided to get married and if this not wanting to have a child is mutual. Not meaning to pry, but I don't you think you entered marriage solely for the purpose of companionship alone. Even if it is, I think you should consider children to be involved in this area one where one of you might not live it up and having a child will see to it that there will be someone to look after one of you. I know old age is about planning and some other argument that does not need a child but you need to agree with me that it would be better that your child could be present eventually in the name of family. Having a child and giving birth can be terrifying but I can assure you that it is not that overwhelming considering that our parents have and most of all your mother has gone through it. I am sure she did have some of your considerations but the difference is that she took it into her stride, have you and brought you up to what you are today. So like her, I encourage you to take it into your stride and let the child come naturally. The only consideration for you here would be your age to have a normal and healthy baby because it is a fact that above 30 women having babies will face certain complications.

Sometimes you don't feel it right, but then you do it anyway. And then in the end your world becomes better. Risks are risks. There are smaller ones that we take every day. Then there are bigger ones that we take once in a while. Smaller risks don't yield high profit, bigger ones do. They change your life for good. But aren't we taking enough risks already? Every time we cross the street, we run the risk of getting run over by a truck. Risks are there. Life is full of them. Listen to yourself. You sound very caring and sensible to me. You are being cautious. You are wondering if you'd be a good mother. You have already become a mother, can't you see? All that a good mother has, you have. I think it's time.

That's a terrible judgmental thing for the doctor to say! I also did not want children and I made that choice permanent when I was in my twenties (tubal ligation). I am 61 now and never regretted my decision. The ol' maternal instinct just never kicked in with me. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate kids and I think babies can be so cute, but I love the fact that I can give them back when I'm done. I remember when I made my decision, the doc just had me sign a release which he held for 30 days. He said if I hadn't changed my mind after a month, he would tie the tubes. I had to have a co-signer and since I wasn't married at the time, I got my mother to sign. She just said, "Are you sure you want to do this? You won't regret it later?" I told her yes, I was positively sure. Thirty days later I made the appointment and it was a done deal. Do not let anyone influence or pressure you into doing something that you don't want or feel is right. Only YOU know what is right for you. No one else can or has the right to tell you how to live YOUR life.

Hello. I once thought I can never be a mother because like you I have so much fear with pain and giving birth takes a lot of pain. Well, God allowed me to be a mother by blessing us with a baby. Knowing a baby is inside my tummy changes my view about motherhood. Suddenly, I am a different woman and suddenly I love to be a mom. I forgot about the pain and during the day I gave birth I felt no pain. My doctor said, I am her only patient who doesn't cry or shout during labor but sadly, they had to do a C-section since my baby is not coming out even 2-3 hours of pushing. I was totally blank at that moment and all I can feel is the excitement of seeing my son. My son changes everything in us. But for you, I think you will be a good mother. Don't be pressured, if it's yours, it will be yours.

Wow! You pretty much have the same list as me. I have a few things that are a little different from one of them, but I do agree with what you are saying. I feel as if society is forcing women to have children, and I don't want to have any because I love my single life. I love not having someone to worry about. I am enough of a worry wort as it is, and children would just add more fuel to the fire. I love children, but I just can't see having any of my own.

Listen to your heart and don't do it...just don't be pressured into doing something that you KNOW you do not want to do. I always knew from an early age that I wanted kids. I had 4 of them...2 were birth control surprises but because of who I am, I dealt with it...no regrets at all. I raised them on my own...not something I set out to do but because it was my choice to have them, I accepted that responsibilty. On the flip side, I have a cousin who is amazing with kids. She actually is a doctor at St. Judes. She never had a desire to have her own children but had an experience similar to yours where she second-guessed her own choices in life. I told her not to pay a bit of attention. Every kid needs that person who is amazing with kids that is not overwhelmed being a parent themselves in their life. For me, I had an aunt who was just unbelievable with kids. I so loved it when she would babysit. She taught young kids and all the kids loved her so much. Everyone said she would be a great mom and yet she never wanted to be a mom. Ya know what? If she were a mom...she would not have been that memorable person in so many kids' lives. Don't listen to your doctor on this one...ok?

Well I don't think anyone should be pressured to do something against his will or conscience. As for me when I feel something is not right, nobody could ever pressure me to do that. But having kids is not one of those things that I really don't like. While it is true that when I was still single I also had some fears about the pain of childbirth it was not that great to discourage me from thinking of having my own kids one day soon. When I got married, and finally got pregnant there would be times I'd be overwhelmed with the thought of the pain of childbirth and the responsibilities that go with it. How would I be able to cope was one of my questions. Honestly, I was just as terrified at childbirth. I was afraid that would be too painful for me to bear. But my faith helped me a lot. I prayed hard and God gave me the grace to overcome all the worries and fears. When finally I was at the delivery room... I was just praying through and through and with that... God gave me the strength and endurance to bear it all. And not only that....hearing the cry of my newborn was an experience unforgettable. I discovered all the pains are nothing as compared to the joy of hearing that the baby that came from your own womb came out alive and well. It was very rewarding! Entering into the new stage of life brought gladness into my heart, some kind of gladness only a mother could feel. While, indeed, being a mother is not easy and in fact the hardest profession ever, I have no regrets at all. My baby is worth it all. Even all through the pains and hardships of caring and nurturing that child... I would say, I am the happiest mother of all. There is nothing like the joy motherhood brings.Children are a heritage from God and I am glad I have a share of that heritage.

there are so many reasons and they are concrete and elaborate and you have made up your mind,i feel its correct

I kind of feel the same way about having kids. I'm terrified of childbirth but I love babies. Sometimes, I think of having a kid my own. It doesn't matter if it's my flesh and blood or adopted. Not now though, of course, but someday. I'm still young; I have my whole life ahead of me.