What Internet means to me...at personal level..
By vanny
@vandana7 (100249)
India
October 8, 2012 5:32am CST
I know I have answered this a couple of times under myLot category.
But here I am sharing something with you that would make you sad as well as hopefully happy.
I am unmarried. I dont have kids. I dont have good set of relatives. And I have dissociated with my friends back in school and college deliberately as I saw very hard times, and I didnt want them to be pitying me. And I had quite a few differences with my colleagues because professional life often brings in certain level of jealousies. I may be an exceptional case or may be my past influenced my behavior. Whatever it may be..I WAS ALONE in the world with only my pa.
Now whenever I thought of my old age it made me very sad. Why? Because I had visited an old age home out here, and there was a lady there, desperately trying to make us (went with others) wait and chat with her for a few moments more (we'd already spent about half an hour in her room). I realized she rarely had a visitor.
It occured to me that once I get in an old age home, my situation would be no different. If I broke my leg, there would be nobody to ask me, how are you doing today. Or do you want some water? I would not have anybody to tell people out here are not treating me well. You would think it is easy to sit in front of television sets and get ready made food and feel happy with periodic medical check up. But there is more to us humans I suppose. We want to be valued, we want to be important to somebody, we want to be needed.
Internet changed that. It allowed me to make friends with people within and outside the country. So now I still have friends who would say hi, how are you doing?
When was the last time you said hi, how are you doing to somebody using Internet? Do you still think it is a formalty, or would you now be able to see it a bit differently?
(Sorry..I didnt want to start any serious discussion this month, but I just had to get it off my chest..sort of :)
5 people like this
19 responses
@jkct02 (2874)
• Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia
8 Oct 12
Hi vandana7, how are you doing today?
(It used to be a formality but I do see a difference now)
Thanks for the discussion. It got me in deep thoughts. We all need to do our part to help our society. Internet is good for connection of friendships even from afar. I know you because of the Indian electricity tariff discussion you started. You seem to have your own ways of thoughts. I try to read all your discussions.
Greetings from Malaysia!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Oct 12
hi jkct Malaysia the word always makes me picture blue sky sunshine and flowers how close am I? I am an A merican who cannot get out and travel like I wish I could but this is pretty close tis m ylot and all the people from all over the world,. good morning hugs from hatley .
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (100249)
• India
8 Oct 12
@jkct..that was touching..:)
It just takes one sentence...but it can make somebody happy. Right? :) At no cost to us..:)
And I am flattered that you should be reading my thoughts. :) Yes, I do recall we met on that topic. :)
Have a good day. :)
1 person likes this
@jkct02 (2874)
• Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia
8 Oct 12
@Hatley
You are spot on! My country has a lot of sunshine and the sky is always blue :) Here the time is close to midnight now. myLot is indeed an United Nation of sorts.
@vandana7
a small gesture could mean a big thing for someone, even if it's just a smile. How hard it is to make people happy? Some only need someone to talk to. Some only need a word of encouragement. Some only need your companionship.
I have been lucky in my life. I have almost anything I want. But I still have my sorrows and disappointments. Life can not be perfect I know. But still we have to try our best to get what we think is the best. Sometimes something is meant as a lifetime's pursue. In the end, the process of seeking it may have been the best part, even better than the prize itself.
@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
8 Oct 12
HI Vandana!
You have the solace of connecting with so many friends through internet and probably this gives you a kind of security and stability that you are not alone in this world.
Internet has undoubtedly connected us with so many people. They might be complete strangers to us in the beginning but later many of them become our good friends (perhaps as good as real life friends).
The invisible thread of bonding between on line friends could only be understood and felt by people who are blessed with on line friends. They connect with them through sites like mylot and other similar sites and a feeling of joy and happiness runs through their heart and mind. The thought - that am not alone in this world and there are many to listen to me gives a kind of flip and motivation to move ahead.
All the best. (Nonetheless, we are getting older with each passing day)
@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
8 Oct 12
I did not know that you were thinking about me, when you started the post.
I would say - Think of the ________ and _______ is there ..........
(am leaving blanks for you to fill it up)
(I have written such a long and positive response and one line comment only.
)
Let me tell you ( a secret
) that whosoever connects with Dpk, s/he just can not 'forget' Dpk in his/her life (dpk will always remain in his/her thoughts).
(am leaving blanks for you to fill it up)
(I have written such a long and positive response and one line comment only.)
Let me tell you ( a secret) that whosoever connects with Dpk, s/he just can not 'forget' Dpk in his/her life (dpk will always remain in his/her thoughts).1 person likes this
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
8 Oct 12
Hi vandana,
I can guess that you are addicted to internet. Yes it is true that internet is a media of making friendship with many men and women around the world. We feel specially me some people are very close. But they are far away from us. We can not make personal relationship with them. Yes somebody make private relationship with particular person or persons via internet. I take internet as a pleasure to pass my leisure time by chatting or written conversation with e-friends. I'm not alone. I have my family. Still I feel extra pleasure to chat with my internet friends. I think the unmarried people get more pleasure from it. Is it a supposition that you are unmarried ?
@vandana7 (100249)
• India
8 Oct 12
Yes. I am unmarried. I have got a good set of friends from both sexes. :) And a few youngsters as well. :)
I feel more confident that all I have to do is mail them, and they would try to contact somebody and help me out if I ever needed help. That is such a comforting thought.
1 person likes this
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
8 Oct 12
Dear Vandana
It is not you all alone out there. I am sure there are many more who have been blessed by the Internet. At least I am. You know me now for a while and even what I have been through... those 8 months in 2008 and then the staying at home for life and also the unemployment. I dont know how things would have been if I wasnt aware of even the Internet thing didnt exist.
Now, despite the physical fact that I stay at home, I have my boundaries of the home extended to almost all corners of the world and also have some really great friends who help me be me... and you are definitely on that list
It is not you all alone out there. I am sure there are many more who have been blessed by the Internet. At least I am. You know me now for a while and even what I have been through... those 8 months in 2008 and then the staying at home for life and also the unemployment. I dont know how things would have been if I wasnt aware of even the Internet thing didnt exist.
Now, despite the physical fact that I stay at home, I have my boundaries of the home extended to almost all corners of the world and also have some really great friends who help me be me... and you are definitely on that list1 person likes this
@vandana7 (100249)
• India
8 Oct 12
Yes..believe me sid, as long as I was working, I felt I dont need another person in my life. I went to an extent of telling one of my seniors that if they needed somebody to stay on spaceship to another constellation, I would offer my services. All I want is good food, and a few books. lol
1 person likes this
But it would have been great if you were in space... India's First Lady in space... "wow" moment for all of us
@rambansal (574)
• India
8 Oct 12
I have been on the Internet for about 6 years now and had many very close friends at different times. They actually come and go, some like storms, others like wind and yet some others like a breeze. But surely, they go some day.
Permanency to online friendship may be added through having some face-to-face contact only if the two still like each other. Internet won't serve your needs as you think. Think coolly.
I too am alone in my life in-spite of having a so-called wife (separated for 19 years now), children whom I visit occasionally but mostly like an unwanted guest. Therefore, I live in my native backward village, do some fighting with administration to provide better services to rural areas, thus satisfy my urge of social service. While online, I utilize my time to write on my 6 blogs, and now venturing into publishing eBooks. These activities provide me some fulfillment. But still...
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (100249)
• India
8 Oct 12
In a way, permanent relationships scare me. I mean, I am afraid of losing the person and feeling devastated later on in my life. That would be back to square one for me. So I am actually cut out for this multiple friends set up. Yes, of course, face to face talk will become essential. I will hopefully be able to develop a few friends from different age groups to that level. I do realize I would need youngsters in my list of friends. But now I am more optimistic than before. :)
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (100249)
• India
9 Oct 12
After a particular age, adjusting to another person is very difficult. We each develop our own individuality and habits. We may act, for a while, to fall into groove, but in the heart of heart, we know we are not comfortable in the new role. So my maturity says, if I have found a way to be happy, I would stick with the status quo rather than look for more adventure. This is because I dont want to empty my bank balance of peace and happiness and comfort and replace it with sorrow, misery, and discomfort. I already have happiness. What is missing is only that feeling of security. It seems like a bad deal to me. :)
@rambansal (574)
• India
8 Oct 12
A day full of hope and happiness is enough to compensate for a week of sorrows and frustrations. So, please reconsider why a permanent relationship scares you. It is not that bad if the two are in the same need of each other.
Life has friction too everywhere but that should not be that disappointing..
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
9 Oct 12
hi,
I know you are a sweet lotter which most of us admire and as many already said lovable soul.
We all are growing day by day and what is more important is - even if you are married, have kids, there too you are not stopping to grow dear. Ok, I am married, blessed with two kids but how do i expect that during my old age they will be by me or my husband as they too will/would have their job/family/other engagements and noone knows if we (me & husband) choose to spend time at an old age home. My Mother-in-law, aged 76, lives alone in her flat - thank god she is physically fit and active in her own activities of the temple and is independent on her own as she gts the pension. We stay in the same city. Now if she tell she's sick we are there to help her but if she did not inform me/my husband or my sis-in-laws, who is thre to ask if she need water or medicines????
I appreciate internet has gifted you some good friends but living the life as you want is more important and not living your age.
By the way, you never know, the internet may again find a good companion for you.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63594)
• United States
9 Oct 12
I have never married and part of that was to not have children. I don't like babies, especially the screaming sort. I know, a big part of that is parenting, but why even start if I might have a migraine and screaming baby?
I do know what you mean about people being alone with no friends or family to visit, but I plan to stroke out like my grandmother, but I want to be a bit older than she was.
I have only a few, but I think well selected group of friends, only one of whom dates back to elementary school and one goes back to college.
@vandana7 (100249)
• India
11 Oct 12
ElicBxn..I like kids..though not the screaming ones, but I may be able to put up with them as well. :)
But as life would have it, I dont have any.
My plan was also stroking out. lol.
In fact, I disclosed it to my friends before leaving the job. I will sit at the center of the sofa with a table in front of me with lots of things to eat. Watch tv till is became as large as sofa and couldnt move out..lol
Well, things have changed considerably since those ambitions. Now stroking out is pleasant thought but sitting in front of television set is not. :) And nor is eating as much. :)
1 person likes this
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
8 Oct 12
Hi, Vandi, A wonderful person like you can never be alone in this beautiful world. No need to feel alone.
In fact so many married people are feeling more lonely than you.
Happiness and peace comes from within you. Not from outside world.
You are an intelligent, good, brave woman who can live with and even without Internet.
We all love you Vandi.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Oct 12
hi vandy when I retired I was lonely and felt useless u nwanted u nnbeeded but I found mylot and got my computer and m onitor out of storage and then I found my godsend, Mylot. I have made tons os f ri ends and can respond and chat and help whenI can and feel'needed and not alone. here in this tiresome retirement centerits better than an old folks home and worse in somne ways as the laws are not so stringent here so the wealthy b.as.,ta,rds that own this can cut corners and not get bawled out,but forget that crap I can go to share my troubles and get some comforting words'back.,these places are not what I ever w anted to be acquainted with bu t circumstances turned my world upside down
so here I am but I have my computer so I am okeay,happy even,
I do say hi how are you doing over and over when my lotting and Vandy at least here in mylot y ou have friends who really care
about you.from hatley.
from hatley.
Yes, there is no envy, no gossiping, no dislike of anything...myLot is gr8
I wish some government authority in your parts of the world reads through this content from you and takes the owners who cut corners to task. Hugs hatley..take care.@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Oct 12
hi vandy maybe someone will some day. co uld ha ppen, my son came to see me last might and that was so good. wow.
vandy maybe someone will some day. co uld ha ppen, my son came to see me last might and that was so good. wow.
@yugasini (12893)
• Secunderabad, India
8 Oct 12
Hi Vandana Madam,
After long time I am in your discussion, if we are good to others every body must be good. Still you are helping poor people and teaching them some lessons, once I have observed this on visit to your house. This is good thing the goodness which you are doing will reflect you just like we through the bread in the water it will return with bulging, all the best have a nice day.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (136082)
• India
9 Oct 12
It is not without reason that one finds millions of surfers on the Net. Here in myLot alone there are scores, each having their own reasons. Suffice it to say, however, that people make no efforts to get back to those in the real world who might have hurt them as there are alternatives now available which was not the case in the good old days.
As for me I have culled out those who just add to my number of friends or acquaintances in the real world and do not contribute anything to my well being. It amazes me how blank some of them are compared to the quality that we find on the Net!!
We have a good infrastructure build up that helps us live our life with ease and comfort - taxi service,home delivery food if we want it that way, grocer, carpenter, electrician, plumber,tax consultant, lawyer, computer technician, tv engineer, physiotherapist, a couple of other good doctors, our staff that helps us around the house, good neighbours, a few members of our family - not all (that would be difficult to handle), a few friends and that's it.
@allknowing (136082)
• India
9 Oct 12
Dealing with these contacts is in itself an activity that keeps us on our toes. Anyway what is it that we would talk to the so called friends -may be some gossip and wanting to pour out our woes knowing fully well they will not help.
@allknowing (136082)
• India
9 Oct 12
Everything that we have built up is at individual levels. Over the years we have been dealing with these people that they are always available at short notice. We only need to phone them up. You need to develop a rapport with them and pay them whatever they ask for and promptly too. Money is what is required at a time when our own people are buried in their own problems having no time for others. When realisation dawns that family and friends cannot help you then you need to have these kind of people in your life. People who will respect you and be around when you need help.
@prashu228 (37524)
• India
8 Oct 12
"We want to be valued, we want to be important to somebody, we want to be needed". These lines are too touching and may be that's human psychology.
1 person likes this
@suni51 (3429)
• India
8 Oct 12
I suggest you to talk to Ms. Hatley for her version in case you have decided to move into an old age home. I am sure internet is available there for people who can afford to pay for that. Or you can always choose to stay in a room with twin sharing, that way the other tenant can keep a track on you to make you feel secured. I hope I helped and deserve a you know what!
@vandana7 (100249)
• India
9 Oct 12
For a long time I toyed with an idea of letting out two rooms and staying in one. Sort of paying guest arrangement. But the idea does not appeal much to me. For the sole reason monetary management is involved. If the incoming tenant manages the show and my share is predefined, I would be ok. But if I have to manage, I will not like it.
@vandana7 (100249)
• India
9 Oct 12
No..I hate keeping accounts, and I hate money related arguments blah blah..lol
If I keep only one person, it might work coz I will share the expenses equally, with some additional charges on me, because I would stay home throughout the day and therefore, there would be more power consumption, and tea consumption, and snack consumption, and telephone may be. But it also becomes dangerous to keep one nowadays. Out here, unless we know who is staying with us, it can be very dangerous. I was thinking of orphans. But asking orphans to look after me...lol
@suni51 (3429)
• India
9 Oct 12
No harm having some one for a company and why should any of you manage single handed! Just do it either on share basis or separately. But you sure have some one for company and safety of your house while you go out. I have rented out my upper story to a bachelor who is from Assam, a manager in a star hotel. He looks after my house and being a hotel management graduate knows how to cook as well. You will be surprised to know that he even cooked for us in his kitchen when we came back from Bangalore in April this year.
@Raine38 (12250)
• United States
8 Oct 12
Its okay, as humans we have to fulfill for our need to socialize and be needed. Thank goodness for internet, we can reach out to as many people as we want even from far away. Sharing of pictures, letters, even videos has become easy and fast. In this modern time, we can get our social fix very easily.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
14 Nov 12
Yes, personally that is why I feel the internet, and especially being a member here is important for so many people. It helps give us someone we can talk too and communicate with even when we feel like others around us do not even care. It helps take away our longing for companionship as well. Maybe there are days we wish for something more, but at least we all have our friends we can count on in here.
@quanquanzhang (504)
• China
9 Oct 12
do you like writting diary?i like ,i think the internet is like my diary,or it is better than diary,because there are more friends in it,i can see different views which let me open,i find the world is big and my troubles are usual,we have ways to solve it ,so i will feel relax,i like the internet,good luck!
@kimilawini (111)
• Philippines
9 Oct 12
Being human entails us being social animals as well.. We can't live alone, all the more die alone.. I'd like you to see things differently especially when someone drops by and asks you how was your day. Be thankful because even if others may just consider it a habit (having to ask everyone how their day was), it's still a good sign that you are part of their habit. You are part of their lives. And their lives won't be complete if a part of their routine was missed. :) You are never alone, you have good people everywhere waiting for your appreciation. When you finally meet a friend who shares their completeness with you, believe me you will find yourself complete too..:)
@creativedigital (110)
• United States
9 Oct 12
I think the internet and the social part of connecting with other people online is very important in this day and age. I know the internet has changed my life greatly... it is a big part of my social connections, it gives me a way to stay connected with a few family members, it gives me an outlet to gain information and learn new things, and it does make for a way to make income too. I just started mylot site not long ago and I really would like to make some friends here... i do have other sites that i have friends that i do ask them frequently almost daily how are you doing today? Im happy the internet gives you that social piece to your real life it does the same for me too.
@shashank210307 (115)
• India
13 Nov 12
yea you are quite right about this nobody here like to spend his life lonely, some people spend his life from the toughts of that people who was not alive but this is not the good way to compelete whole life............so social networking site which connected by internet helps all of us to far from loneliness.........in today's life internet plays a very important role for us.........so keep connecting
