Move out or stay at parents house
By niairen01
@niairen01 (1018)
Philippines
October 11, 2012 12:35am CST
I know in most countries, there are different situations. LIke in the US, a friend told me that in US "Independence" is really BIG there. So commonly, when a teen turns 18, they move out of their parents house and live on their own. While here in my country, even if we turned 20 or 30, whether or not we have a job, we still live at our parents house.. YUP! there are also cases that even if a person gets married, they still live with their parents.
As for my point of view, being raised as who I am. I think it depends. I want to experience independence but at the same time I want to live as close as possible with my parents. When I graduated in college (20 yrs old) I was left alone at our house. I enjoyed solitude and freedom... but I also miss my mom and my brother soooooo much that I drive all the from the city to the province to see them every weekends.
So if I have a choice, I would choose to have freedom as well as seeing my parents most of the time. So I guess, I want a set up where I have a place of my own.. and my parents are my neighbors... (yup, that sound stupid! LOL!!!!) ^___^
5 people like this
39 responses
@DHADHU128 (85)
• India
12 Oct 12
Those people who wants to be free and independent keeping parents away don't understand whats love is and whats responsibility. Actually that is not their fault it depends upon how they grew up, how their parents took care and raised them, depends upon their circle of relatives,friends,neighbours,mental and physical health etc;etc; They don't understand as this is a very sensitive and can't explain kind of issue. They only understand when they face it like when they get old, their children leave them like they left their parents, when they get ill and nobody around them to love and help. All these people will cry definitely at a certain point no mater how bold and independent they look who participated in disussion here. Never forget, if u love your parents and take care of them till the end, your children will do the same otherwise suffer thats it....
1 person likes this
@stringer321 (5644)
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
12 Oct 12
Every word you said should be set in stone.
I see how my father is not friendly with his family, he doesn't always go to visit his mother, nor his brothers and sisters. In fact he is not talking with one of them.
My mother, on the other hand, is so friendly with her brother and sister and her mother, and her aunts and uncles. This is so inspiring me. They are all so loving and caring for each other.
I am thinking about doing the same to my father, when I will leave the house, I won't need to help him in whatever he wants. He will need to start thinking what's important in life : being a hard worker or being nice. My mother I will always love and help her.
@prashu228 (37524)
• India
12 Oct 12
hi, yes that's not common in our country too, but times are changing, so some are going out to be independent, but maximum, as per the present day situations , most of them are preferring to live with parents too, anyways the final decision depends on the young people and also the family basis, how attached they are with the family and other things, not at all a problem.
1 person likes this
@stringer321 (5644)
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
12 Oct 12
You are right, I agree with every word you say, especially about how attached is the person to his family.
I started recently to have anger against my father. He gave me some tasks that were sound simple, but, turned out to be a lot harder and longer.
Today, I'm so much want to find a job and get out of my house as fast as I can.
I am ready to work with anything. I know it will not be economic to pay rent and all that money is like burned. Still, I need my peace of mind like air now.
For me, living with the parents doesn't worth the tension and the stress.
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
11 Oct 12
Here, it is normal to stay with your parents until you're finished school and gotten a job. Most people are on their own by about 24 though.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
11 Oct 12
I guess we're just really close to our parents unlike those of the other countries. We have close-family-ties and even to our relatives that we wouldn't feel "at home" if we're far from them.
This doesn't mean that you're not independent though. You still make your own decisions and you somehow take the position of your parents in terms of decision-making eventually. I might be living with my parents, but I am the one continuing the payment of the bills, so it makes me "own" the house.
Afterall, we go out and live with other people so that we can save up from all the bills, why not just stay with the parents and share with them? Not to mention that the house I live in is most accessible to the place I work.
Have a great mylot experience ahead!
1 person likes this
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
11 Oct 12
HI,
Never ever treat parents as hurdle in independence/freedom. If you are under parents at whatever age you be, you get all the love and care which noone else can provide you, even your parents-in-law. Going away from parents for a while teaches you about your own responsibilities and tasks to we become more sincere when we are away from home.
@Raine38 (12250)
• United States
11 Oct 12
I moved out of my parents' house when I was 23. Back then, I am already more than a year in my work, have been promoted and given a raise and therefore I can already take on the more crucial expenses that entails with "independence". For me, independence is more than having the financial capability to pay your own way; it is also a mind set wherein you are mature enough and capable enough to make your own decisions and stand by it. I reached the part wherein I can fight for what I want and stand for my decisions, but I wasn't earning enough then. Once I had these two, I become more confident that my parents can't do anything to sway me.
While I also like to be near my parents, my moving out took me so far away-to another country as a matter of fact. But they do understand that I need to do this for myself.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Nov 12
hi I live in C alifo rnia in the US and yes we do move out once we are adults but that does not mean we are not close to our families and parents because we
are;this is our American custom. we are always welcome to come home if we have problems but we value our independence which is not really a bad thing, we grow
up and mature faster then those who stay with parents til they are in their 'thirties. also we always remain in contact with our parents always.
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
16 Oct 12
It depend on the situation I think? Because if you have your own way to enjoy life and need more freedom that's good enough.
It's not good for children being always dependent on their parents. What you need to do or always remember that being independent is a sort of life to do anything you want in life. Everything on this earth has a limit and don't followed others that when they successful enough. They forget their relatives and never visited them when everything goes as they please...
Always remember the hardship of our parents and don't forget to stay as humble as they taught as being a good person to live freely as others wishes to be...
@stanley777 (9402)
• Philippines
27 Oct 12
I think that is good. If you want privacy then you can set up your own home, but since you always miss your family, you can just live near them..
I think it is a very good deal.. You can stay a few blocks away from them.
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@emerillus (467)
• Philippines
11 Oct 12
hi niairen01!
I like the setting wherein we can still live with our parents as long as we remain single. It's just our way, we Filipinos have close-knit family ties. It's better this way, at least for me, if I'm single because I want to take care of my siblings and parents and help around the house and the expenses. Now that I'm married I still worry a little about my family and visit them as often as I can. I couldn't bear not to see them for many days.
1 person likes this
@asliah (11137)
• Philippines
22 Nov 12
hi,
here in our country some of couple choose to move out to their parent house and there are also wanted to stay to there parents house,but if i could have a chance to be married i think i will like to stay in my parents house so that i can also be with them.
@samson1 (738)
• Jamaica
16 Oct 12
True, you are a practicing independent person; with a great sense of family. Happy for you: as from an early age, your parents/family had set you on the correct path to be economically, emotionally, and through your educational prowess.., financially independent! Hence, leaving your parents home at the time that you did was never a challenging experience for you at all.
I hope you continue to spread the same message with your offsprings.., should you consider to have children. Best wishes.
@Ivy_Bubbles (169)
•
11 Oct 12
That's actually a good idea. You can have the best of both world. Be independent and at the same time be close to your parents. When I lived in another city a few years back I also get homesick every time, I go home whenever I feel like it. It is really hard to be away from your family especially in a culture that has a closely knit family ties.
1 person likes this
@puiuioandaniel (182)
• Romania
22 Nov 12
The age at we move alone is different and I think that this thing will appear when I feel this. For example, I left my parents house for going to the college at 18. Also, I miss my parents and my stuff, my friends, my activities. I changed my life style and I think that I grew up. I'm sure that after I graduate, I will moving again to another country and it's more difficult. So, I think that moving on happens at the course of our lifes, indifferent what we want.
@GardenGerty (159754)
• United States
15 Oct 12
Not all teens move out at 18 in the US. Some do, but generally they go to college. I went to college, away from my home state, then when I came back home my parents owned two houses next to each other. I only slept at the second one, I still ate and did laundry etc. at my parent's house. My son went to college at 19, for only one year. He came back, lived at home a while, then got married. He paid me a little rent to help with the bills, I still did the cooking. He got divorced, he came back home and has been here almost four years. He is getting married again, and they have a house. My daughter moved in and out a lot, she lived with a group of young people in Chicago as a mission trip, she had a job in the state of Washington, she lived some in the college dorm, then two years she lived with me. She got married, lived in town a while and now lives very far away. I chose to live away from my family,when in college and also after I got married, but I loved them, and loved to visit.
@artemeis (4194)
• China
13 Oct 12
I think there's no such thing as a rule of the thumb on one's decision to move out or to stay with one's parents here. Also, moving out is not solely about independent because one can still live with one's parents and still be independent at the same time.
I simply believe in being sensible and considerate when making decisions to stay or move out of our parent's home. Sometimes we cannot just consider moving simply because the great majority is doing so, without considering other legitimate factors like who and how are we to take care of one's parents as age and health catches up with them. This is a rampant problem especially for single child families where parents are often left to fend for themselves when they come of age as their children leave them to work in other states or marriage.
I understand that sometimes living under one roof may not be conducive if the house is incapable of housing its occupants comfortably due to the lack of floor space. As such, moving out is inevitable but we still can either have parents or we ourselves find and move into the same residential area so that proper care and contact can be maintained.
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
13 Oct 12
It is nice that you get along with your parents that well. I moved away from my parent's house to work in the city as soon as I graduated from high school. There was no work for a female in our farming community. After I married, I went where my husband's work took us, but I would have liked to have lived near family. Phone calls and e-mails are not a good substitute for a hug.
@ifa225 (14464)
• Indonesia
14 Oct 12
If you are still single
I guess it would be better for you to stay at your parents house
If you are married and you have a baby..then it would be better to stay in your parents house
If you have a baby and you go to work, you still have your parents who will take care your baby even tough you don't have a nanny or you can't afford to hire a nanny
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@Canellita (12029)
• United States
14 Oct 12
There are plenty of people in the U.S. who live with their parents well into adulthood. Some even continue to live with their parents into their 40s and 50s. Almost no one at 18 has the money to move out and get their own place unless they have been working and saving for a very long time. The only young people who would even consider moving out that early are those who have very bad home lives and feel the need to get away from their families.
@rooftop (110)
• Malaysia
14 Oct 12
When I was a teenager i wanted to move away from my parents. Yes I wanted freedom and independence like most youngsters who moved away from home. But as time goes by...I got married and had kids. It was very costly to have babysitters for three kids. Luckily I was living in the same area as my parents. I send my kids over there. My mom was pleased to help me out with her grandchildren. Now I am taking care of one of my two granchildren! Thinking back living with parents aren't that bad. As a parent I would like my children around ..
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