Reflections & Updates from Opal...

The fact that you are able to post this topic goes to show you are better off than so many who do not even have a computer nor the knowledge on how to use it. The day you start counting your blessings that will be the happiest day of your life. I do it all the time. One needs to develop this ability Opal and that done you will look forward to the day that is before you. Good Luck.

Its nice to see you here...and we all hope you turn out with good results in the end. I turn 62 this next summer. So far it hasn't bothered me with the exception of my legs giving me a bunch of grief. I don't think too much into the future..and I certainly don't have regrets about the past. I have tried alot of things in my life...not all successful by any means...but I am glad I had the courage to try so many different things..right now I am just trying to figure out how I can retire soon. Hopefully some of my schemes will turn out! Good luck again sweetie....

A very happy 60th to you my friend, I have had tests in the past to find out what exactly is wrong with me and they have come back inclusive, it is so damn frustrating, I was referred to several different specialists, all came back not being able to pinpoint the problem, I had tests, operations, intimate checks the lot, but still nothing, in the end the GP suggested it was all in my head! But it wasn't, finally I got a doctor who understand, it's anxiety on top of my depression. I am scared to look back my dear friend because when I look back I see this happy guy of 27 who had his own place, single, had a job and had barrel loads of confidence. Then after two abusive relationships I am a mess, a complete and utter mess, on antidepressants, panic attacks, and seeing a therapist once a week. I don't even look forward any more, the way I cope with life, is live for today, today matters not tomorrow or yesterday, today. Sending you a virtual hug and thank you so much for being a dear friend to me.

I think anytime that you are scared about your health, you start thinking that way. I hope the next tests go better and everything turns out ok. Sorry that your mom is not doing well. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! My birthday is on Sunday, and I too will be 60. Age is simply a number and a state of mind. If you let yourself feel old, you will be old. New Year's Eve in 2000 I stated to my Mom that it was going to be our year. My Mom started falling constantly and was losing weight and was rapidly sliding down hill. May of 2000 she went into the hospital and on July 13 at 5:50 a.m. she passed away. It was a horrible year. I also was in horrible health and the doctors weren't able to figure out what was causing the problem. It wasn't until this year that the problem was [i]FINALLY[/u] figured out. I hate to tell you the number of times I was disappointed by the medical profession, including late last year when a doctor told me that the pain I was experiencing was from....constipation!!! That means that I had been constipated for a minimum of 15 years! It's a wonder I didn't explode!!! I tried to not let it get to me, but it did. Christmas 2000 was the worst I had ever had. In 2001 I got a hold of myself and decided that I wasn't going to let things get to me. It wasn't easy, but I managed to get my life back on track. I will pray that your condition will improve itself before you need to go through the hell of surgery again. Hug your Mom and let her know how much you love her. Every day that Mom was in the hospital I would tell her that I love her and would hug her and be there for her. It was important not only for her but for me. When she passed, I knew she went away knowing how much I loved her and cared for her. I had the peace of mind of knowing that I not only took care of her while we lived together but while she was in the hospital. I also knew that when she went she went with a sense of peace. The last 18 hours she fought like crazy to survive, not for herself but for me. She had the intense drive to take care of her daughter and she wouldn't go without knowing that I was going to be alright. It didn't dawn on me until 10:30 that night that she was fighting to stay because of me. I stood beside her bed, holding her hand, and lied through my teeth. I told her that I would be okay and things would be fine. I told her that I could take care of myself and the dogs without problems. I went on to say that it was okay for her to leave me and continue her journey to the other side. I was lying through my teeth and was crying through the whole thing (so was the nurses and the room mate and her daughter), but she drifted deeper into her coma and wasn't as restless. It was at that point that I was so thankful that each day was started with an "I love you" and a hug, and it ended with the same actions. Love your Mom, take care of her the best you can, let her know how much you care about her and thank her for all she has done for you. Put her in God's hands, as a human there isn't too much you can do about your Mom's problems. Worrying about her so much isn't doing you any good either.

I know what you mean as far as age and reflection goes. I will turn 61 in November. I know what it is like to reflect back and wish you had done so many things differently. The wake-up call is YOU CAN'T GO BACK. But you can go forward in better frame of mind and do better. My reflections are over how I mothered a bi-polar grandchild, why I chose to commit to helping my bi-polar daughter raise her nine year old ODD son, why I married the men I married, and how I conducted my life. I love my kids and I will do all I can to help them. Age is just a number. But life is lived without a handbook. You are only human and you do what you can with what you are given. That's it! Bottom line is that you lived a life and you may or may not have made human error. You can't go back. But you can go on with dignity and grace and know that people love you and care about you. I am sorry to hear that your mom is not doing well. We all have to give in to the delacacy of life and that it comes to an end for our parents at some point. I hope you believe that she will go to a better place when her time comes. You make it a day at atime and you realize that life is precious and you try to grab what you can while you can. Much care to you and special thoughts. Don't be rough on yourself.

Hello again, Opal! It's been a while since I've visited Mylot, so if you don't remember me, please don't entertain any regrets... I, too have turned 60 (October 1st) and I am very much in tune with that "remember and reflect " mode that you have encountered- it's one of the reasons why I have decided to give a visit to my Libra friends and family online. I, too, have felt that mix of fear and joy that we Libra-folk often feel throughout our very lives. It seems to intensify around certain "event points ", such as birthdays and calendar changes ( Sun and Moon) and even significant weather events. I am reflecting most on the things and people that seem to have "suddenly " become a part of my Life as it is these days. For sure, there have been many, many Blessings and a few Curses, too... For instance, I have just noticed that I had not written ANYTHING readable about my birthday since I turned 55 (?)- Just what the heck was I doing that was so important that I couldn't stop and write a few lines about birthdays 56, 57, 58 and 59? I'm at a loss for a good answer- so all I can do is perhaps look back through my files and see some of the other "art " that I must have created during those years. There are photographs, paintings, spoken word poetry recordings and even a few funny short stories- but not one word about my birthdays (duh). Perhaps it's better to think that I was truly "In The Moment of Creativity " and not in the process of "losing my marbles" while aging, as one might say. Amongst the Blessings I can count are: Surprisingly good health ( Got a full body checkup this year), The laptop that I'm writing with (Found it on a trash heap), a very smart and loving Woman ( Met her at my Photo exhibition) and qualifying for a lifelong transit discount... Counting the Curses ( I don't like to, but here it goes...) - Perhaps the nagging feeling that I might not become the gazillionaire playboy that I shoulda been. I'm always a few dollars and a few Women short. Suddenly feeling irrelevant around younger people, and somehow not minding it. Telling a joke that I absolutely KNOW is a killer and suddenly stopping to ponder why I think it's so damned funny. One of the few things that I will always welcome as a feature of my Life, Opal, is my absolute faith in the power of a kind word to heal all kind of hurts... I'm sending my kindest, most powerful words of healing and blessings to you and your mother as you read this. Have an excellent day, Happy Birthday, and May Blessings Abound for You and Yours!

Well, unless you have a time machine in your closet, it's extreeeemely difficult to change anything that's happened in the past. I don't have one, so I look on things as "What's done is done". If there's something I can do to ameliorate the situation, I will, but ultimately it's best to just let things go.

I'm sorry your surgery results weren't what you wanted to hear. Happy Birthday! Considering you are 60 it's quite impressive that your mom is still alive and fairly well. I have a co-worker who is 60 also (or just about to turn 60) and her mom is just starting to go downhill also. Her mom is 92. That's a great age to live to and still be well. I think of my own mother who is in her 50's and has end stage renal failure and may not see 60. Or Ambiepam's mom who's in her 50's and has dementia. I understand how you can feel scared about turning 60. Everyone looks at it different. My boss is 62 and still dresses like a teenager. I don't think age bothers her much. Me? I was scared and felt like my life was over when I turned 30 (I know that may still seem very young to you.. but so far this is the oldest I've ever been and it scares the life out of me! I'm 32 now.) I can only imagine how I'll feel when I turn 60. Probably very much like you do.. just plain scared!

HI OPAL, Good to see u on here. It is just a number but i know it seems like a big one to u, lol. i will be 70 in dec. & that is a big one.. I have learned to live one day at a time & make the best of it.Hope u get good results from your tests. I'm sorry your mom is not doing well. been there done that to. U just keep your big girl panties on like i do & enjoy each day if at all possible. I'm always handy if u newed to talk. jo

I know just what you mean. I have over 10 years on you and all of these are still my worries. However I have learned to consintrate on what is good in my life, also to accept the fact that what is left to me may not be long, but I know I have the ability to control how I conduct what is my mind. I use tapping to overcome what has been a life long habit of worry. After all worry is of no use to anyone. The tapping people are doing more and more work with how to control our minds and use that power for better lives. I know I have told you about this before, but just for your memory, start at tapping.com and watch the video. Next go online and search tapping and EFT sites. Don't spend any money, you canget all the info you need without spending anything. Blessings.

No Opal! I haven't seen you in a dog's age! I wondered what happened to you. Oh yes. I'm 62 and I have thoughts about things I wish I had done differently. I have some regrets. One is that my daughter never got to know her father. It wasn't my fault that her dad hid so he wouldn't have to pay child support. However, if I had stuck it out with him, maybe she wouldn't be so messed up now. She blocked her father on Facebook and doesn't want anyone to mention him to her. She doesn't like him because he threw off on me making me the bad guy. I think she lost out on a lot by not having a dad.

hi dearest Opal, sorry first of all for my late answer to you but I am still battling a bronchitis and am not up to par yet. I am sorry that you got to repeat the tests in three weeks from now and also sorry to hear your Mom isnt doing too well Havent done much reflecting because that tends to lead me to brooding over the past and I really dont need that, just overcoming decades of emotional abuse. Turned 50 this year and reflected about the last 1,5 years which so far have been the best of my life. Due to a painful personal situation improving no doom and gloom any more in my life but every day is a gift for me now and I am eager to open and unpack the parcel so to speak. I have never been free to make the decisions in life I would like to make but now I am free and thats so so valuable for me. Personal freedom to make the choices I would like to make and just live my life in emotional peace and quiet....... I was reflecting on this and am very thankful to God for letting me have this great time in life now.

hi.. a very happy birthday to you Opal. I hope you had a good day despite the problems or whatever the situation must be at the moment in your life. May you have many many more birthdays. Do not be afraid, he (god) will take care of you. I also look back and see what life has given me, I just smile. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.

I try not to reflect. Everything seems so up in the air, and I am thinking back more often than ever before, and I don't like it. I don't want to think about the past, about how good things were, or how I could have handled the bad times differently. I just want some darn peace in my life. And I want you to be well!

Oh that stinks, you have to wait another 6 weeks? I hope it is good news. I think everyone past 30 stops occasionally and reflects on life, past mistakes they wish they had not done, and future goals they still desire to accomplish. My most recent reflection was on my future and where this book will take me, if it takes me anywhere. I continue to get positive responses to my story, from all walks of life, but at the same time I wonder if at my age, if I could got my latest goal done by making this into a series.

In June I was selling the house I owned with my ex and buying my own place when my employer decided to lay me off. Talk about timing. So of course I was a little freaked out, and wondering what the heck I was doing and how scary it was. But I did manage to find a job fairly quickly, and I love my new house, and my boyfriend is awesome, and my kids are NOT all upset and angry. So I am happy. But I can definitely see that when life stomps all over you and your plans it gets you thinking all sorts of things that you wouldn't think otherwise.

I have spent a lot of time in my life reflecting on where I am now and where I hope to be in the future. For me this trend started when I was a young lady and my father passed away. This really left me with a lot to think about. Now I do a lot of reflecting because I am a mother and the wife of a cancer patient. This does mean that for me I do a lot of reflecting because I don't want my children to have to go through the struggles that I have been through in the event that my husband's health fails and I am left to raise two children on my own.

Hi there, Opal26, nice avatar name and picture you got there. I also have reflections on my whole life sometimes. Even 3 days ago, I went to a meeting with a psychodrama therapist for the first time and I told her about my life. Some situations that are not closed and some situations that I wish to act differently at. So, when things will progress, we will pretend and reconstruct some situations that I want to bring up back from my past and I will be able to get into the shoes of the other persons that were there. After I had told her all of my problems, I started to cry... :( So, I am 30 and half years old, still have no career and not even a job, I live with my parents and sometimes I just can't stand talking with my father. I hope I will get a job soon. Even a simple job at a super market will be enough to get out of my house and take my dog with me. From high school I just studied computers and still haven't found a job in that area because my grades were not so good or deep down, I'm a simple person in my heart and I don't really want a hi tech job. My situation could be a lot better. I am sure.

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