Why can't we just get along
By smooty54
@smooty54 (38)
United States
October 11, 2012 5:33pm CST
Ok...so I am 22 years of age and I feel as tho I have never had a decent relationship with my mother. I have always in a way longed for a good relationship with her; i've prayed about it for years but nothing seems to work...well it will get better for like a short while then go right back to sucking. She is hardly supportive of anything I do and she down-talks everything. To me she had tried to live her life through me. I think because she had me when she was 17 years old, and she didn't get to fully live the young life as I am doing now. I am in my last semester in college ( been here for 4 years strong!) and she was the reason I chose the school I am at now. She told me to go to this school to become a Pharmacist but after year two I realized that that wasn't what I wanted to do with my life so I am now a Business Administration major and when I told her she wasn't too enthused...fast forward I am no perfect child, I have made mistakes, no major ones but I just need for my mom to chill out, relax, stop with the negativity, and just be a cool and supportive mother. Ive tried talking to her numerous of times but that doesn't seem to work...I feel just like giving up on ever establishing a positive relationship with her.
3 responses
@NailTech (6874)
• United States
12 Oct 12
You just do what makes you happy and nevermind what others want you to do, it's not their life you are living and everyone is different. Your mother should stop being a jerk and wanting you to be a pharmacist if you don't want to be one. What's in it for her anyways if you choose that over what you like to do? You will have to live your life as you please one day so you might as well do it now, you are old enough and not needing to be controlled by anyone. I can only tell you to both go see a therapist together and see if that works out.
@smooty54 (38)
• United States
12 Oct 12
your right,and I keep telling myself that I'm grown and i need to live for me. Idk I guess I just look around and see how my girlfriends' moms are supportive and let them live, and can just be chill around them and I just would like to enjoy that for myself. But I just need to let go, and maybe change myself and stop trying to recreate this person that I think she should be.
@Raine38 (12390)
• United States
11 Oct 12
I don't want to say this is normal for a mom and kid to have some misunderstanding in some point in their lives, but I also had the same experience with my mom when I was also your age. After about 2 years and our relationship is going downhill, I decided to start saving up and move out even though she doesn't like the idea of me living anywhere else, it's out of the question and she would take it as if I am putting it in her face that I am already a grown up, etc. which I really am. What I did is I move out but I settled in another country. I stayed for over a year and when I come back I didn't stay in our house, I took my own apartment about 2 hours away from them. And now, my mom and I are pretty chummy. I guess the distance, plus the growing up that we had far away from each other helped patch our differences. I am not saying that our problem is similar to yours, but the thing is, it is much better for you two to be far apart and still loving and respecting each other rather than be together all the time and hating each other.
@smooty54 (38)
• United States
12 Oct 12
well see i am two hours away at school and i rarely go home to visit just b/c i try to avoid being around her. This summer i stayed at her and my dads house and she was cool, but when i got back here and also i might add, I got into a relationship this summer with a really awesome man, and I think she is jealous of the idea. Like he is the perfect guy and yet she tried to find the slightest thing wrong with him. My sister relayed the message that she thinks I put a man before my family, but fact is i lost my job and my boyfriend has been the only person taking care of me, so I do feel as though I owe it to hang with him more often, bc he is my source of income, especially when my parents both saw me struggling and werent there to help. Its alot...my life is drama!
@GemmaR (8517)
•
12 Oct 12
It can be very hard when you want to be close to a parent and you're just not able to do so, but the fact is that not everybody does get along with them. If you think about it, it doesn't make sense that you should get on with somebody just because you happen to share the same genes as them. You will love each other, but this doesn't always mean that you are going to get on and agree with the things that you both say all of the time. You should try talking to her and seeing if there is anything that you can do which would help to improve the way that you can speak to each other.
