your friend says he loves you. do you back off?
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
Portugal
October 12, 2012 1:27pm CST
hi guys
if you had a friend that says he loves you would you back off? i mean sometimes if one friend loves the other the friendship ends if he doesnt feel the same way. would you do that?
for me if a guy that was my friend told me he loves me and i didnt feel the same i would still be his friend. unless he didnt want to. if he loved me for sure would be hurtful for him that i stopped to talk to him and going out with him.
what would you guys do? please share
3 people like this
11 responses
@meowchie (992)
• Philippines
13 Oct 12
This happened to me 2 times. And sad to say, both I've pursued but ended as a mess.
I was really on good friendship with both before the "relationship" but sad it's now the way it used to be when it ended. So i think yeah I should have back off and maybe it won't be like it is now.
But it's too late .
1 person likes this
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
13 Oct 12
meow^^ i think you made the right decision by telling your feelings. even if it ended in a bad way. what matters the most is that you fought for your happiness. if he didnt love you is their loss ^^ but never regret to say how you feel. im sure that soon you will be very happy. you are a good girl ^^ for sure an amazing guy is waiting for you in his shining armor have fun this weekend
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
16 Oct 12
thanks so much ^^ i missed you too i can be online only two times per week cause during the week im helping my mum in our restaurant^^ about a friend being courting me i dont know :) there is a friend that says like he likes me sometimes but he also jokes around with other girls too so i dont know what is going on.
@mirror327 (24)
• China
13 Oct 12
Lovers cannot be friends
once you have stepped forward, it is difficulut to go back.It is said that the true happinese is what you get is better than what you want.when someone says he loves you,he means he want the relationship to go further,and not satisfied with the current situation.
1 person likes this
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
13 Oct 12
i guess i understand you mean that if a friend loves the other friend he cant be friends. its hard to be just friends with a guy you like. for me i would feel bad if i liked a guy and he was my friend and he told me things about him and his girlfriend. but when we love a guy we cant be away from him. like people say: friends is better than nothing at all.
@rogue13xmen13 (14402)
• United States
13 Oct 12
Well, I did. When my friend of several years told me that he loved me, I had to tell him that I didn't see him that way. It wasn't easy for me to tell him the truth, but I couldn't lie to him and lead him on like that. It wouldn't have been fair to him. I wasn't in love with him, thus, I couldn't be with him.
1 person likes this
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
13 Oct 12
sure rogue. but did you keep being friends with him?^^ i wish so. because even if you didnt love him i guess he would like to still be your friend. even at first i guess would be a bit awkward for you to face him. im happy you were honest with him^^
@sjvenden27 (1840)
• United States
13 Oct 12
This is a hard one; I can see why you are in a dilmea.. If you really do not want to push to the next level.. He may not want to be a friend anymore because he shared his true feelings with you; which can be hard for a guy to do.. So he may push away because of anger, shame and possibily doubting himself for even staying something.. One the other hand you stand your ground and he respects the fact that you made a decision and you are sticking to it.. Either way your relationship with him will be awkard for a little while... I would tell him the truth, then there would be not games or what if or how can i make it work.. Kind of questions like that which can go running through a persons' head is gone, because they are answered.. One point you could make is that you guys have been friends for so long you do not want to make it something else and lose what you guys have as friends right now.. Hopefully this guy will respect your honest and in time things go back to the way they where.. Good luck:-)
1 person likes this
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
13 Oct 12
thanks for your advises but this didnt happen to me^^ i was just wondering what would people do in a situation like this. i think it would be a bit awkward to see a friend that was in love with you and you didnt feel the same way. but i think that even if you feel the same or not friendship should always stay.
@jvincent_129 (4994)
• Philippines
13 Oct 12
Well, they would feel awkward about that because they were really good friends and then suddenly he loves her. But in a while, everything will be back to normal they would still be friends.
1 person likes this
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
13 Oct 12
i guess things could go back to the normal if the guy tried to forget her. after knowing that she doesnt love him. because if he still tries to have something with her that wont be comfortable. anyway i guess they should being friends because its sad to lose a good friendship.
@kokomo (1867)
• Philippines
13 Oct 12
I already experienced that situation. My friend courted me and I felt awkward about it. I confronted him that I just want him to be my friend.He was hurt that moment I told him. He became very distant with me.I respect why he was like that. And then one morning he approached and talked with me.And, finally he already accepted that we are just friend and beyond that is a no no!.hehe
1 person likes this
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
13 Oct 12
im happy that you didnt lose his friendship. its good that your friendship didnt end up badly like it happens sometimes. it was normal that he reacted a bit bad at first. im sure he felt ashamed to be refused. but then he just saw that your friendship was the most important. im happy you were honest with him. thats the best than being with him without love him.
@rog0322 (2829)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
13 Oct 12
Hi,
Why should I? Here comes a real opportunity for a deeper relationship and it may a beginning of something special and exciting. I don't really mind if my best friend says that to me, at least I know what's hidden is now revealed, and I am always ready for it, morning, noon or nighttime.
1 person likes this
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
13 Oct 12
im happy that you wouldnt go away from him. im happy you would give him a chance. but i guess sometimes some people go away because they dont feel the same way. so they dont want to keep in touch so they wont feed the other person's feelings. in my opinion thats a nonsense because the person will get hurt.
@bhabycatch013 (9150)
• Philippines
13 Oct 12
hi sweet,
Well I am not really comfortable with this specially if the feelings are not mutual but I will not end the friendship because of this.
happy mylotting
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
13 Oct 12
im happy you wouldnt end your friendship with him because of that. i think the best thing to do is to try to keep being friends. and hopefully his feelings will start to change and he can see you as a friend only. i understand that wouldnt be comfortable at first to be around him knowing he loved you. and you didnt love. but soon things would become better.
@subhojit10 (7375)
• India
12 Oct 12
Thanks for sharing this discussion. Well it would be an awkward situation for me of course after all he is my best friend and i will have to gauge his saying for a lot many times before taking any firm decision that would not hamper our relationship in any way. It will definitely be a tough call whoever decides and i think it totally depends on the mindset of the people.
What say?
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
13 Oct 12
i guess you would just have to follow your heart. if you loved him you could tell him and be with him. but if you didnt love him the best was to say the truth. sure he was your friend and you wouldnt want to hurt him. but would be worse to accept him without love.
@riyauro (6421)
• India
13 Oct 12
Oh it is tricky, I would not feel comfortable with the guy if i have some other boyfriend or anything . or even if I have no interest in him. Every time I talk to him bring bring the subject in my mind and i will know that he is thinking about me that way. So I would not feel comfortable as before.
Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
13 Oct 12
you wouldnt feel comfortable but would you stop being friends with him? i guess that would be very bad to him. because he was already heartbroken that you didnt love him. if you stopped to be his friend he would feel even worse. i guess that wouldnt be fair to him.
@rs1982 (99)
• United States
12 Oct 12
Yes, it is a tricky situation. One of my friends had an online buddy. She thought it was just 'friends' as they never met. However, that online buddy was in love with her after a few days of chat/mail exchanges. Later, they became the best buddies(and met in person too). He never expressed his feelings until he was sure she wouldn't feel bad and still be the best pal, even if it won't work out. Luckily for him, she felt the same too..
Well, if you are really good friends, then you may not feel awkward about it. Maybe a few moments of freaking out but later, it will be fine. Of course, either shouldn't make a big deal of it. Then, probably, you can be good friends. Then again, I don't know whether it would work for everyone..
1 person likes this
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
13 Oct 12
im happy that your friend felt the same way for him. i guess would be very sad if he loved her and she didnt feel the same. its good that she met him in person first before they even start a relation. i guess that if you feel the same back is a good decision to tell your feelings. but if you like a guy and he doesnt feel the same way you might lose his friendship. still i think we should always be honest and try our luck^^