care for the grannies
By rizzaspeaks
@rizzaspeaks (391)
Philippines
October 15, 2012 4:34am CST
Early today, a colleague shared an inspiring act that made me smile. She has this "blessing-sharing" with the grannies in the "home for the aged". She said, it's like a responsibility she puts into herself every time she has the chance to receive a blessing. It reminded me of the time I went to that same place way back in high school. It was there that I told myself, that never would I allow my parents to get into this institution. I had the chance to talk to some of the grannies. They pour their pains of having been left in that place after they have taken care of their children. Some of them never wanted to talk to us, the hurt inside them is evident. It crushed me inside hearing their sentiments. They have this feeling of "being dumped" by their own children now that they are useless.
Part of our Filipino culture is the care we have for our old people. It's one thing I am somehow proud of being a Filipino. Although we have this kind of homes for the aged in our country, it is still a "common" practice for most families to keep our grannies at home. I guess it's a responsibility we consider, our way of saying "thank you" for our parents who taught us to stand on our own feet. Old people deserves the highest respect in our homes. It is just proper to give them back the love they've invested in us, to let them realize they still belong to us and we are still there for them until their last breath.
3 people like this
9 responses
@stanley777 (9402)
• Philippines
16 Oct 12
I'm with you on this sharing of one's blessing my friend. It's really sad to know that some children would let other people to care for their parents even they themselves have the capability to do so.
Yeah, there are lots of stories to tell and I guess mostly are sad, from older people who can not care for themselves and are being cared at home for the aged and other shelters provided for the homeless.
We are being known to have a close knit relation with members of our family, so I think no child will allow his/her parents or any elders left in the care of other people. But there are also children who can not do their part and we can not blame them, maybe they have reasons too for not doing so.
@rizzaspeaks (391)
• Philippines
16 Oct 12
Yes Stan, maybe they really have reasons to leave them and we cannot simply judge them.
There are just different kinds of care I suppose. Some wanted to take the responsibility in their own hands while others wanted others to do it for them. I don't want to leave my loved ones in other person's hands. As much as possible I would love to leave them only good memories on their last days. That they won't feel the rejection of their own family. That they always have a family who loves them and will never trade them for any thing else.
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
16 Oct 12
Hi Ms. Rizza, I really do not want to judge those who left their old relatives in that kind of institution but I still wonder how they are able to come out to that decision. For me, it is so hard. If I were to describe it, it is heartbreaking. I don't know what reason would made me decide to leave someone in there. I guess that no matter how poor I am, I can't just do it. I can't imagine myself leaving an old relative be it our grandparents, our own parents or a relative in there. I know that people who are getting older are becoming much more sensitive. I trully feel that they are so hurt to be left in those kind of institutions.
@rizzaspeaks (391)
• Philippines
16 Oct 12
Often, culture is the basis of our actions. We cannot blame them, it's but a common practice in their place and they have their own reasons why they do them (some we can't understand).
It is really heart-breaking. The thought of leaving these old people in an unknown place is like planting a seed of loneliness inside them. Some grannies prefer to stay in these kind of institution 'coz they don't want to be a burden to their families, but still I just don't think it's fine. Children should be aware of their responsibilities to their parents. That they must love and take care of them just the way they took care of them when they were younger. Keeping them is just a simple act of saying "thank you for making me who I am now".
@silverfox09 (4708)
• United States
15 Oct 12
Your culture is similar to my Jamaican culture in that sense . Most families here take care of their old parents at home . I would not send my mother to those institute after all she have done for me , I will work my hardest to provide at home care for her in her old age .
I also think that is a way of saying thank you for all she have done for me . She take care of me when I was useless so why will I turn my back on my mother when she is old and useless.
@rizzaspeaks (391)
• Philippines
16 Oct 12
That's the least we can do to let them feel how important their roles are in our growth. That we are nothing without them. We should always be grateful.
We have to give back the care and love they have for us in the most special way-keeping them:)
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
16 Oct 12
I have always though of this one big dream of being really successful in life. But I always include in my prayers that if and when that happens, I will share my blessings with the people from the home for the aged, orphanages and other institutions that need help. I pity them coz eventhough the government wants to provide each and everyone of them sufficient care and give them their daily needs, I know that still, it is not enough.
@rizzaspeaks (391)
• Philippines
16 Oct 12
Yes Jen. It is really fulfilling to know we are able to share the blessings we receive. To see the smiles on these people's faces with our small gifts is really a big thing that will bring happiness inside us.
@STOUTjodee (3573)
• United States
15 Oct 12
I use to work in nursing homes and it would surprise me how many families would not come to see their parent/grandparent. But there are some people who would come to see their parent/grandparent often. The older people have so many stories to share with some one and they have so much knowledge to share with some one. I especially enjoyed the time when I worked as an activity director, you could actually spend one on one time with an individual and learn a lot.
@rizzaspeaks (391)
• Philippines
16 Oct 12
It's sad to think their own children can't take care of them and instead other people have to do their responsibilities. Yes, I encountered one granny there who i very smart & knowledgeable. I could tell in her manner of speaking that she was very well educated and had a good life before. I left her a token before I left, until now I can't forget her. How I wish she's still healthy and smiling just the way I've met her.
Your work of helping these old people is truly admirable. I really salute those who can selflessly give their time caring for these helpless people :)
@riyauro (6421)
• India
15 Oct 12
Even in my country we still take care of our granny. she 90 and kicking it. we love our granny and she is a wonderful human. I have seen many other who put their grannies in the aged home. I don't see a reason why they have to do that.
Very inspiring one. Thanks so sharing and have a wonderful day ahead 
@rizzaspeaks (391)
• Philippines
16 Oct 12
Wow! Your granny is so lucky to reach that age healthy and still kicking:) I bet the love and care you showed her is one reason that added her joyful years.
Culture plays an important role on our decisions in life. Maybe some who put their grannies at the institution is simply doing it because it's a "common" practice in their place, and maybe their grannies wanted the same.
Thanks Riyauro:)
@JAYMAR777 (840)
• Philippines
15 Oct 12
I can feel you on this Rizza since I used to work as a Clinical Instructor for caregivers in the field, and part of it is caring for the old people. One thing I also realized about the old people is there being a parent. Some of the parents that really took good care of their kids never failed to be visited as often as every weekends, and you can tell that they are lavished with love. Sometimes these grannies are the ones that asked their kids to be entered in the home for the aged,as for them to have time to talk with their fellow oldies and beat the boredom. But the mean ones during their primes, I just couldn't imagine, it is like (as you have said) their kids dumped them and waited for their deaths.
I often told my students to be good to their kids for when the time comes, they will reap it..
@rizzaspeaks (391)
• Philippines
16 Oct 12
I admire your work Jaymar. Not all people got the chance to understand these old people as much as you do. I believe that saying, you reap what you sow. When you've been a good parent, your children will love you and take care of you. Homes for the aged people is a good institution, and just like you've said, some grannies would prefer entering them to beat their boredom and find their friends. I always say to my friends, when we grow old, we would still hang out and find a disco place for grannies (haha).
Thanks for sharing:)
@prashu228 (37524)
• India
15 Oct 12
I agree with you friend, i can understand the pain they undergo , as i have seen them when i visited the aged home. I felt so bad, that day, didn't feel like eating and some disturbance in my mind for few days. Although , in India the culture of old age home was not there before,in the recent times ,its increasing. People are changing and elders are left at old age homes. I feel so sorry for them.
I never want my parents to go to any such homes in future.
We should give them support at that age. We should care them so that they , will be happy for the rest of their life.
@rizzaspeaks (391)
• Philippines
16 Oct 12
Same feeling of disturbance when I left the place. Yes, people are changing. Most people nowadays forget the value of these old people. They just don't understand that a time will come that they will grow old and the same thing will happen to them, thus, they will experience the exact feeling of being left.
Indeed, we should take care of them and let them feel loved every day.
@Raine38 (12391)
• United States
15 Oct 12
Like you, I also prefer to take care of my parents in our own home with all of us there for them. We are afterall a family and they have been really the kind of parents anyone could ever dream of. Even if I wouldn't be able to personally see to their needs because of my work, I would still prefer them to be in our house and I will just hire a personal nurse or care-giver for them while we're out or working.
@rizzaspeaks (391)
• Philippines
16 Oct 12
Yes Raine, there's nothing more fulfilling than seeing our loved ones when we come home after work. It's the least we can do for our parents after they have given us their unconditional love and care.
You are right, they are our family. We should be there for them esp. in the times they need us most.
