Ex inviting me out; is he out of his mind!
@luntian_grace (1373)
Philippines
October 15, 2012 1:48pm CST
great things always happen but i don't like the sucking things!
it's more than two months now that i have split up with my ex-boyfriend. i have post the the reason here at mylot before. but for those who has no clue i will give you a brief one. it's because he doesn't love me and he is still in love(?) with his ex. well he feels guilty and somehow still lives in what ifs.
but enough with that. so i was living my life again. going out, meeting people and talking to new friends, busy with work and our team... make things shorter i have finally accepted things and slowly trying to move on... my life was in mix up again when after all these months out of no where... he send me a message via facebook saying;
"hey can how will i follow your blog?" and i answered just click the button that say friends...
"hey can we grab some coffee sometime? i really do miss talking to you." and i answered i a bit busy now (because i was) may be some other time.
the next day he send another message... "hey are you free this Tuesday or Wednesday? there is this documentary that i am watching with my girls may be you want to come..." i told him that i am busy because i am really busy.
what pisses me off is that is he that insensitive? or may be he is playing dumb with himself? if he thinks that it's cool to sit down with him like nothing happened, then i would be damn if i do. what does he wants from me? apology or he wants to do the same thing that he always do... live in the past!
i have told him that he should try to move on. that past is past and let got of what ifs... but when i broke up with him and never look back... i am part of his past and all of the sudden he is doing it again... he is trying to fix things that has already happened. i have a life now, i am happy with what i have. and he knows i am not going to claw back into his life. once is enough.
he is not moving on... it keeps on building on top of him. he wants to fix that is already gone.
1 person likes this
7 responses
@Aja103654 (5644)
• Philippines
16 Oct 12
If you are happy now and you don't have those kind of feelings for him anymore, just tell it to him straight that way he would not be lead into thinking that you still love him. If he insist on spending time, then it would only be just friends and if he can't accept that then no need to meet up because that would only hurt him.
@luntian_grace (1373)
• Philippines
18 Oct 12
if an am happy now? yes i am. if i still love him? yes i do. but do if i wan't to be back together with him? that would be a very loud NO! the problem is him. he thinks too much. he always tried so hard to rationalized EMOTIONS... which would be very bad considering that scientifically it's not the same. well the one that is involve with emotional function is a different part of the brain... so you can't rationalized emotions because it's not controlled by the rational side of the brain.
well back to the topic... he don't trust me and he don't love me. plain and simple. he is making excuses for one.
he love to talk to me when he is into trouble, when ideas are pouring out of his brain, when he feel the need to have someone to talk to. and that's the only place i fill in as the girlfriend... other than that he don't care if i am fine... if i am out there see other people (it's not like i am see other people). in short feel like he only needs a companion and someone to listened when he rants about politics and other bu%$Sh$#@. all i am saying is that from the moment we become involve with each other i really can't sense the difference between our relationship from being friends before (other that intimate things).
the hard blow is that he doesn't like people to know that we have a relationship. he was too angry that i slip about something that would give a hint that we are in a relationship.
so that was it there and then... i end his agony. i said my good byes politely and when off his life. i am done!
@luntian_grace (1373)
• Philippines
22 Oct 12
that's the point... i think he wants to get back to his old girlfriend because he afraid to be alone. he keep me around so that he feels that he still have someone. and knowing that i am kind enough not to hit him if he break up with me. i know that he don't love me that is why i was the one who broke up with him.
@Aja103654 (5644)
• Philippines
21 Oct 12
I think you already made up your mind and that is never to be in a relationship again. It's best to probably leave him single. Let him solve his own problems on his own so that he would learn to stand on his own without having to hurt you. If he wants support, he should get it from his friends and family and not only you. If he thinks you are his only support, then too bad, he should go looking for other people too.
And the thing about him keeping your relationship a secret is suspicious. why would he do that?
@luntian_grace (1373)
• Philippines
18 Oct 12
i am not crawling back to him... i was his good friend but that's it we are just better off being good friends. i don't want to be in that position again that i am the only one who is trying so hard that it seems he don't even care.
@rog0322 (2829)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
16 Oct 12
Sort of rekindling the old flame, I have an experience like that once, my ex trying to bring back the old days. We broke up by virtue of her being involved with a third party. A few months later, I received feelers that she want me back. So I say "let's give it a little while," I was trying to see if she won't be involved with another man while I was away. A few more months later, she got preggy and married one of my best friend.
Not bad after all. Jumping back right in after getting burned. You get the idea.
@ellyse2003 (1463)
• Philippines
16 Oct 12
Sometimes, after we try to live without the person we once loved, we will suddenly realize that it was you're fault or you can't move on without that person. I think that's the way he's reacting right now, he realized he loves you, he wanted to make things right. But then, it's up to you if you want to live without him and continue what you have right now.
@luntian_grace (1373)
• Philippines
18 Oct 12
don't think so... like i said he always live in the past... he always have the what ifs under his sleeves. i know him too well. i have pointed that weakness with him but still he is doing it. presently i am the past... so he will do it again. he will try to live with the past. he is going after me because it's how he reacts... he wants to live in his past. he is always a day or two too late.
but it won't help him if i tolerate it. i gave him the last decision... he let me go and he knows that when he do there is no turning back. i fought hard to save us both during the time when it's worth saving... but now the object fact is that... we are no longer together and we just need to live in separate way. all we can do is learn for the whole experiences. that's just what it is. no more what ifs
@OpinionatedLady (5965)
• United States
15 Oct 12
If you want to severe ties then you must do so completely if not do not be angered by his invites when you clearly want to see him because you behaved friendly towards him. One or the other sweetie.
@luntian_grace (1373)
• Philippines
18 Oct 12
i am angry... not really it's just that i want him to understand that i won't be there anymore when he needs someone to "talk" to. he thinks that i can be there when he is in distress. no i won't it would be steeping out the boundaries again.
i want him to live what he has and start building his life again. he needs to start in his own, with out me around. i know that he was crush with his old relationship (the one before me) that is why i know that when he looks at me it's not the same. he just need to accept that he lost people in the past and that he should try to move on.
like what i am doing right now. i am moving on and learning from what had happened. we are all grown ups now and it's time we should act like one. i love him so much... he was my best friend, but he should understand that he need to end everything in his past... and if he does and he still want me back and if i am still around... then may be we can still have another shot.
but right now i don't have anger towards him. but i just can't face him knowing that it still hurts every time i look at him... preservation is what is holding me back. i know that if i see him i may not have the strength to hold back the tears and i don't want him to see that... i don't want him to feel guilty of what i am feeling right now. he was always there to protect me. i remember those times that he will crush anybody that might hurt me... emotionally and physically. may be he wants me around because he was used of being around me. and now i am putting some space he feels the distance.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
16 Oct 12
It could be really annoying, really. Some guys assume that they could still maintain a good friendship despite a bad intimate relationship that you had. They are absolute jerks! Don't fall into that trap! He has hurt you and now he is trying to know if you still feel something for him and when you are at your weakest, POW! Then you fall into his trap!
@natliegleb (5175)
• India
16 Oct 12
well he is trying to prove a point here,it might to be embarass you also,so be careful always
@luntian_grace (1373)
• Philippines
18 Oct 12
i am not going out with him. he can always find someone if there is someone better out there...
my last words with him was... "some people search through their entire life and never find the one that they can really sit with and talk all day and understand them even before they can say a word. and it's sad that you are letting me walk away."
he knows we "were" perfect for each other. and it's too late because i am not letting him get close even an inch.
do i regret everything with him? no it was a great lesson. sometimes people are better off being friends than lovers.
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
15 Oct 12
My ex did same thing for 6 months after I kicked him out. Called me every single day and night. He hated to take me out to dinner while we were married, but all the sudden he wanted to after. Not.
@luntian_grace (1373)
• Philippines
18 Oct 12
he just want me around... it's been like that for ages... we are always together. well he always brings his exs when he tries to meet me before... we were best friends.
he thinks that we are still best buddies after what had happen... but it's different now... i am still healing up. and he should be sensitive enough to see that...
