How to convince yourself you are happy but deep inside you unaccompanied.
By tweetyfe
@tweetyfe (191)
Philippines
October 17, 2012 2:12am CST
My husband is easy go lucky the only concerned is to reserved the earnings in vain like gambling, without any concerned the basic family needs, the only concerned is personal basic needs nya....As of now this is my struggle because the daily income sometimes she cannot enough for the daily expenses, from the start untill now my husband thus, so how to convience myself happy if my life thus like this....
2 people like this
12 responses
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
17 Oct 12
At one point in my life, I was at that stage, too. It was really difficult for me to pretend happy when inside I was dying. It came to a point that I made a wrong decision thinking that the pain will just go away. But then I realized after some time that doing something bad would not make things better. It just made things worse. It is hard to be a wife, lest having a husband who seem to have a close mind about everything. I suggest that you hang on and focus your life with your kids.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
23 Oct 12
We may be in the same situation right now. It is kind of crazy to still hang on, but I am always hoping that everything will be alright.
@tweetyfe (191)
• Philippines
23 Oct 12
Really, what happen to your relationship did you happy or pretend yourself you are happy but deep inside you are unaccompanied and how to overcome this situation and how long your getting married? For me i retain this relationship because of my child, other than that no more.
@tweetyfe (191)
• Philippines
23 Oct 12
Thanks jenny sometimes i ignore it and focus my attention to my one & only child. For the past 6yrs until now my partner is still doing this, and my depression is still there in my heart, and how to change it this situation if my partner continous doing. I do my best for my family and pretend im okey but deep inside unaccompanied and surrender my relationship, i dont know if i retain it for how long.
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
18 Oct 12
Lying is not good and I think that lying to others are easier than lying to yourself. If you aren't happy with what your husband is doing, do not ignore the fact as you can't solve a problem if you don't do anything about it. Problems in marriage should be given proper time and attention. You two should talk about it and look for a reasonable and realistic solutions.
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
29 Oct 12
Like what I have said in one of my posts yesterday, God is never in favor of lying. People who lie, not only unto others but to themselves, are making God unhappy. I have also said that people resort to lying to escape from their obligations and from reality. But neither of the two are valid reasons for lying.
In your case, I don't really think that lying could give a permanent solution to your problems. It can only be shortlived. One of the proof is that as early as now, you can actually tell yourself that you're just living in a lie.
..this the way to convince myself im happy but deep inside in my heart im lying to myself..
I know that it is really hard to live a good life nowadays. Poverty has really caused many marriages to break. I think that it is because that they forgot to include God in their marriage. God is the third cord being mentioned at Ecclesiastes 4:12 A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
Like we all know, two are better than one. Here it was explained that it is indeed true. Two people can easily withstand their problems if they are going to stand with each other. But like the verse says, three are even better. They will not be easily broken. It is very true in marriage. If we are going to include God in our marriage, He can definitely lead us to have a happy and long lasting marriage.
@tweetyfe (191)
• Philippines
29 Oct 12
Yeah exactly, but sometimes lying depend what you have, i think my case lying is good for me, because this the way to convince myself im happy but deep inside in my heart im lying to myself, maybe this is a part of my life. This is the main problem i entertain for being couple other than that no more. But the main issue what we solve the problem, for me i focus how we solve the problem financial, im stay in the office at the same we have another source of income to provide to our daily needs, because my salary is not enough for my daily expense.
@donsky14 (5947)
• Philippines
17 Oct 12
You don't need to convince yourself that your happy tweetyfe, what you need to do is to talk to your husband about it. Maybe the two of you can compromise. If he can't really let go of his gambling, then just ask him to prioritize your families need first before attending to his gambling.
@tweetyfe (191)
• Philippines
23 Oct 12
It ignore the bad things and accept fate to my life, i try to talk my husband regarding this situation and the theory of justification mind your own business, your money is yours, and my earnings is mind. My husband say I'll pay the monthly rental and the utilities, and the rest is yours. Meaning the monthly expenses of my husband is only 5thousand other than that no more no less, the daily basis needs of my family i will provide everything, sometimes the daily income is not enough to provide our daily needs.
@rameshchow (4426)
• India
17 Oct 12
we can share our physical problems with anyone. but it is really painful situation to share our mental problems.
to convey ourselves happy, we always have to feel inside like "all is well". just put your hand on your heart and say to yourself "all is well". and try to engage with some work, try to talk with good people who motivates you. try to make others happy like wise we can be happy.
and see a problem from a distance, then it will be appears as small.
keep smiling.
be happy.
we are with you...
:)
@mhypie03 (683)
• Philippines
18 Oct 12
This is something you have to decide right there and then because it is affecting your daily life. Especially if there are kids involved then it has to be settled once and for all. If your husband is not in any way helping you get through each day then might as well leave him for good and start a new life with your son. It does not give any good example as well to your child whenever he would see his dad like then as well as inevitable arguments you and your husband do inside your house. It is a smart decision you need to take but I know it will do good on you as a whole. God bless you!
@tweetyfe (191)
• Philippines
29 Oct 12
thanks mhypie, i don't give up my relationship because of this problem, i'll still stand and strong for my son, maybe because must better to stay this relationship for the good of my family. Yeah my daily life will be affected sometimes im lying to my self im pretend im okey but deep inside i need the person to listen to me and discuss what i feel, and thanks this is way to released side by side what happen to me.
@toxic_lifestyle (1213)
• Philippines
17 Oct 12
It's really hard to convince yourself that you're happy when in fact, you're not! It's so hard fooling around yourself because you really know what you really feel inside. :)
@tweetyfe (191)
• Philippines
23 Oct 12
Meaning to say same situation you gathered to your partner, what is your way to overcome this kind of situation? and why did you handle it, kindly share with me.
The relationship both side will cooperate to maintain everlasting love and all needs will be provided, but the badness you and me will sacrifice to retain this relationship it because of the children, w/out any child involved i'll give up this relationship.
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
17 Oct 12
It is hard to be in your position right now. I know that happiness is a choice you have to make for yourself and do not depend on others. I think with your situation it is indeed hard especially when you are in that position.
I can only see one thing about this is to separate yourself from the one that makes your life hard.
Now the question is can you do that? Or will you just wait for your husband to reform himself up?
@tweetyfe (191)
• Philippines
23 Oct 12
Hmmmmmmmmm........ Well untill now still waiting for the transformation of my husband, the question is how long to survive and retain this relationship? i think if my relationship is over i'll give up, but right now and then still fighting and overcome this kind of life, i convince myself from time to time never give up, still stand and strong because this is part of my life.
@sjvenden27 (1840)
• United States
18 Oct 12
My ex-husband was the same way.. I felt like he was more a child then a husband.. Always wanting for himself and not worrying about what needs to be done for the bills and later on for our son..
It was hard but in order to stay happy I would try to look for the positive in all of what was going on and bulid on that.. Gambling espeically when its for bills is so wrong.. Is it possible that he has a gambling addiction? Not trying to make light of your situation; trying to help you find a possible way of resolving it.. If he does have a problem he needs professional help.. Yes that may be more money going out the window.. but if he is willing to get help it might be able to help start repair the finanical problems that you are facing right now..
If he is not willing to help get these bills caught up so then you and your family can simply live life.. Then it might be time to find somewhere else to stay without your husband or have him leave.. Sometimes not always a major change in a persons life can shake them enough to shaping up and fly straight.. Good luck God Bless you and I will be praying for you and your family
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
17 Oct 12
I am sorry to hear that your husband is like that my friend.
In my opinion, you will forever be in misery if he continues to lazy and a gambler. You will only be freed from misery if you give him an ultimatum to either reform or to forever leave him.
At least, with that, you have given him a warning that you will finally want to be happy in life.
@tweetyfe (191)
• Philippines
17 Oct 12
stress and depression is the part of my weaken of my brain, most of the times i'll ignore it, but sometimes inbound im week, and how to survive? Financial is important part to buy the daily basic needs, and how to provide the needs of my son if my income is not enough.Wanna life if the salalay suffer bad luck for you i think you give up. Well the best way is give to ultimatum to either reform or retain.
thanks for the advice.
@subhojit10 (7375)
• India
17 Oct 12
Thanks for posting this discussion. Well i can understand you are going through. I know u are very much tensed for your husband getting involved in gambling and all because of which he is wasting his money in a wrong way. I think u should calm yourself first and talk to your husband regarding this matter when he is in a better mood to listen to anything. U have to present before him some examples about how a family cannot be run only by a mother and also needs the support of a father too. I hope he will realize his mistakes.
What say?
@tweetyfe (191)
• Philippines
23 Oct 12
This is the one way to set me free my feelings, actually 100times to try to talk my husband, but the theory of justification wealth and riches he cannot redirected if you are die, and said just enjoy your life and do it what you want. Yes i accept it this theory of justification, but he cannot accept myself do you let your family first before anything else you want.I'll pray to God that one day he realize the mistake and walk the right way. For this situation im not sure im blessed i am, what do you think?
@tweetyfe (191)
• Philippines
23 Oct 12
I think im not blessed women because my partner devoted doing and happy to do gambling everyday, everytime i feel uncomfortable because i see everything how to loose money a week the highest is 5thousand and the lowest is 2thousand, but the basic needs he cannot provide. Imagine the total expenses for the month is 5thousand to pay the monthly rentals and the utilities this is the only concerned after no more no less, all other expenses i can't manage food, groceries, allowances etc sometimes the daily income is not enough to provide all needs of my family, I dont know how long to survived this kind of situation.
I'll really appreciate because the highest thinking for me, i beleive one day im find out the thru happiness forever and ever after the struggle of my life.
