Please help me edit-Thank you
By Yasmin
@jasmeena (846)
Indonesia
October 17, 2012 8:43pm CST
Hello..I am confused how to edit this writing using UK English?Can you help?This is the real version:
Everyone will enjoy the romance and culture of Frances most famous city. And its’ safe to say, that travelling down the streets of Paris is enough to inspire even the most stony of hearts. An historic city known as the “city of light”, vacationers will enjoy beautiful sightes; such as Notre Dame, the Eiffel tower, and the Arc d’Triumph.
If culture doesnt interest you, why not go for a bite to eat? Travellers will love the famous French cuisine; with croquet-monsieur, pain au chocolat, and chocolat chaud waiting on every street corner. Their is plenty to see in the capital city – including the bayeux tapestry, which’d make anyone stare in awe. France is enchanting at any time of year, from Spring to Fall, but as the
weather grows colder vistors may appreciate the myriad galleries’ and museums that the city has to offer, including the Louvre; see if you can spot Mona Lisas smile, or find a sculpture by Michelangelo.
Whatever you love to do, it’s guaranteed that by the end of you’re visit, you will fall in love with Paris.
And I edited like this..please correct my work..thank you
Everyone will enjoy the romance and culture of Frances most famous city. And I have to say that travelling down the streets of Paris is not enough to inspire even the most stony hearts. An historic city known as the “city of light”, vacationers will enjoy beautiful places of interest; such as Notre Dame, the Eiffel Tower, and the Arc de Triomphe
If culture doesn’t interest you, why don’t you go for a bite? Travellers will love the famous French cuisine; with croquet-monsieur, pain au chocolat, and chocolat chaud waiting on every street corner. Their is plenty to see in the capital city – including the bayeux tapestry, which’d make anyone stare in awe. France is enchanting at any time of the year, from Spring to Fall, but as the weather grows colder ,visitors may appreciate the myriad galleries’ and museums that the city has to offer, including the Louvre; see if you can spot Mona Lisas smile, or find a sculpture by Michelangelo.
Whatever you love doing, it’s guaranteed that by the end of your visit, you will fall in love with Paris.
2 responses
@rog0322 (2829)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
18 Oct 12
Hi
The first sentence should read "Everyone will enjoy the romance and culture of this famous city of France." You should also avoid starting a sentence with "And" rather going direct thus "It is safe to say that traveling down the streets of Paris is enough to inspire even the cynics." Also "A historic city..." "An" precedes only the vowel sounds "A,E,I, O and U." "City of Light..." take note of the capitalization when describing a landmark. "..beautiful sights..." instead of "sightes."
@rog0322 (2829)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
18 Oct 12
Take heed of materfish's suggestions, they are good grammatical rules too.
@matersfish (6306)
• United States
18 Oct 12
General notes on both:
Use apostrophes to denote possession -- i.e. "This is Jasmeena's discussion," not "Jasmeenas." Contractions also use apostrophes between the combined words, not after them.
"Their" is a pronoun or adjective before a noun, a possessive; "there" is an adverb to point to a particular place.
Again with the contractions, "you're" is two separate words, whereas "your" is just like "their." And although colloquially speaking there are thousands of different contractions to be made, it's better to list both words at times instead of throwing a loose "d" on the end. That's fine in conversation, but it doesn't read well in anything else.
Easy with the commas too. Just because there's a break in the flow of the structure when reading it doesn't mean it needs to be broken grammatically.
