Health and happiness
By maximax8
@maximax8 (31046)
United Kingdom
October 20, 2012 4:59am CST
My disabled son in in Year One at a main stream primary school and he has a full time assistant. He is five years old and due to him being unable to walk he goes around in his self propel wheelchair. We live a 15 to 20 minute walk from school. I push his wheelchair to and from school. At school he is told to self propel it around and he is slow to move it around. They wish him to move around much more quickly but he gets tired and his arms ache. He does not like school and does not like a child in the class called B. B is a loud child and my disabled son is very quiet. In the lessons the classroom is totally quiet and all the children are on task. In the dinner hall at lunch time the children are so noisy that my disabled son has to wear headphones. Some of the other children are asking why is he wearing headphones. My disabled son cries and says he doesn't want to go to school. Then he vomits because the school won't let a child that vomits come back to school for another 48 hours. Yesterday my disabled son vomited when I was in the next room getting my daughter's lunch box ready. My disabled son seemed well so I thought he had made himself vomit that is all. I got him in clean school clothes and off he went to school. At lunchtime he wouldn't eat anything developed a high temperature and vomited twice. I came to collect him and rang the doctor's surgery for an appointment. Last Monday he had a urine test and the results still aren't back. The doctor seemed worried and wanted my disabled son to go to the hospital. The hospital wouldn't let him. Today my disabled son still has a high temperature and he is drinking water plus eating plain food only. He hasn't been vomiting anymore.
Were you happy at school when you were a child?
Have you had poor health at anytime?
If you have a child did he or she not get on with a particular child?
2 people like this
10 responses
@JAYMAR777 (840)
• Philippines
20 Oct 12
My heart goes out to your son. As a physical Therapist, I know that sometimes patients goes through some emotional issues (like anxiety) that could affect their physic and emotions. It was a good thing that you brought Him to the doctor. He needs all the support he could get.
With your question, I have a very beautiful childhood. I just don't like my senior year in High School, it was the time that my parents marriage was rocking which eventually lead to a split.
With health, I was hospitalized once because of ulcer; but I was able to work in a hospital as a Physical therapist and I was able to meet lots of people who have questions in life.
I don't have a child yet, one way or the other I like to work with kids.
Have a nice day Maximax8
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
20 Oct 12
It is excellent that you work as a physical therapist. The doctor feels he is a general doctor and not a specialist. My disabled son often sees specialist doctors. He takes time off school to go to those many appointments. Yes, I think my disabled son has anxiety. I wish to phone the urine expert on Monday and get the results of the urine test.
I am pleased that you had a beautiful childhood. It was a shame you developed an ulcer. Yes, parents splitting up is hard to children to handle and you were in your senior year at high school. Many thanks for your words showing understanding and support. Many thanks.
@JAYMAR777 (840)
• Philippines
20 Oct 12
Sometimes anxiety can cause vomiting and withdrawal.
Your welcome Maximax
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
20 Oct 12
Does your son have an IEP. This should be an issue that is brought to the attention of the school. My son did not have an issue with another child, we had one with a teacher. We ended up pulling him out of her class. He would cry every morning when I told him that he had to get up and get ready for school. He had always loved school, so I started digging and found out that he was doing nothing but sitting on his own at school. After that he was fine.
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
20 Oct 12
My disabled son sadly does not have an IEP (Individual Educational Plan) I asked why in a meeting when he was in the Reception Year and they said he was physically disabled and not academically challenged. He learned how to talk at age three years old.
OFSTED (Office For Standards in Education) like that school and praise it very highly. The children in class are quiet and are totally on task. The dinner hall is noisy at lunchtime though. They give my disabled son head phones to wear at lunch times. He eats very little at lunch time. So they give him some of his lunch in class or at playtime in the morning and afternoon.
I know that it is very unlikely I could get him in another school. All the places are full you see.
@mortysmadhouse (226)
• Australia
20 Oct 12
Oh maximax8, ((( BIG HUGS )))
How stressful for both you and your son. It is a pity that the school are not putting in more resources to accommodate your son. After all, EVERY child has the right to an education ;)
Having a child with special needs is never an easy task, especially when there is a physical disability as well. Both of my boys are within the autism spectrum so I know, to some degree, just how exhausting the whole 'school thing' can be. However, I am lucky enough to be living in Western Australia where my children are able to get the assistance they need in order to be at school.
I wasn't too happy with being at school as I did not like my peer group. I was a serious child, to some degree. This as well as being born with wobbly eyes made school difficult. My parents pulled me out of kindergarten after an operation on my spine to try and correct the problem went wrong - I reacted really badly to the anesthetic :(
My youngest son has been having problems with a few students in his class. These kids are bullies, there is no other way to put it. Before Taj arrived this year, these kids tormented the other children. Taj doesn't put up with any rot and doesn't feel any pain. He knows right from wrong and isn't afraid to stand up for himself and those he feels he has to protect. The bullies have tried it on him and Taj retaliated with kind. They no longer pick on him anymore, , thank goodness!
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
20 Oct 12
Thanks for your excellent response. You totally understand how I feel due to being the mom of children on the autistic spectrum. I am pleased that you live in Western Australia. I visited it in 200o and think it is a lovely place. Why did you have an operation on your spine when you were a child of kindergarten age? I can see Taj stands up for himself. Thank goodness the bullies now leave him alone. Yes, having a child with special needs can be very challenging at times. Many thanks for your fantastic response.
@natliegleb (5175)
• India
20 Oct 12
its difficult to balance both and we need to just manage health at the particular moment nothing more
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
20 Oct 12
I was not happy at school, my health was poor I had a black dad and a white mom. I was way more intelligent plus other interests as most kids, my friends were about 20 years older as I was. My kids are the same. Way more intelligent, quite, love the silence, the noisy kids hurt their ears/head/brains, same with me.
My youngest two are not really happy, they want to leave the new school again and both are vomiting too. My son started with that at the age of 4 (law you have to go to school at that age) each time it's vacation, or nearly they start again. My son is sick for days, vomiting 10 times or more, sleeping 3 days and nights then he is back again. Now my youngest daughter (just became 7 years old) started with it. Both kids are open, friendly, helpfull, attentive, very creative, love to read, observe a lot, but it seems there is no place for them in this world. I won't make much stress out of it this school year. If they don't like to go I keep them at home. For all of my kids school was exausting, mostly because of the people, the noise, not because of what they teach which is a very low level for them. Both want to stay home and me to teach them. They like it way more. Also they learn in 10 minutes time more as what they learn in a whole week at school. I can only advise you to take your son serious, keep him home if he can't handle it or better find an other school. There is no need to let him be unhappy.
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
20 Oct 12
Thanks for your excellent words of help. It was such a shame you were not happy at school. It was a pity that you had poor health as well. Yes, in England children do begin school at 4 years old and this I think is very young. I know children in some other European countries begin school at 7 years old and they know more than my country's children by age 11 years old. In the Netherlands I had a class of 11 year old speak to me in fluent English. It seems like your son vomits a lot too.
When I moved to the area I live in now my oldest son was 11 years old and he was in Year 6. He had a choice of two schools. We visited the Church of England school and he didn't like it. I wasn't as keen on the ordinary school. However I let him go there because I knew it was only for one year. I got pregnant with my disabled son when I older son was 12 years old. He spent five years at secondary school and now he is studying A Levels at further education college.
I remember my older son was unhappy in Year 2 because there was no longer any playing in the classroom. He found learning to read hard and the books he said were too difficult. Now he is 17 years old he is very clever.
@caopaopao (12395)
• China
20 Oct 12
It's difficult for your son to be happy at school, I can feel that. Are there any special schools for him? Maybe he will feel comfortable there. I feel he may feel self-contemptuous at school , so he doesn't want to go to school any more . Health and happiness are closely related with each other. I hope he can go to a school he likes.
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
20 Oct 12
When my disabled son was a baby and toddler he went to the S group for children with additional needs. At three years old he also went to the St M playgroup with an assistant. He began talking at three years old as soon as he mixed with the normal children. One of the children fro the S group has a mixed week going to the special needs school and a mainstream primary school. That child doesn't talk and it severely autistic. Just because my disabled son can talk they put him in an ordinary primary school. My disabled son doesn't have any feeling in his hips, tummy, legs and feet. I so wish he could go to the special needs school.
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
20 Oct 12
Hello my friend, I absolutely hated school as a child, I was forever bullied, both by the kids and the teachers, yes back then it was even acceptable for teachers to come down heavy on children, throwing board rubbers and even using the ruler, sickening when I look back, I remember my music teacher calling me names and all the other kids in the class were laughing and the names stuck, I would feign illness to get out of school, when my mum went to complain she was told she was being too sensitive and bullying didn't go on at the school, ridiculous. My teaching suffered and I didn't come away with good grades. I did have health problems, I had an underactive thyroid gland and I was overweight, because I comfort ate from all the bullying, it was a vicious circle. I am sorry to hear about your disabled son and even now bullying still goes on and unnoticed.
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
21 Oct 12
I was not quite happy when I was a child, because I had some problems caused by myself from running into a cart with a lot of iron rods that my eyes got hurt.That happened when I was playing with my playmates on the street, chasing one another. After that, one of my eyes got swollen when I got a cold. It was very painful and my mother took me to a hospital, but it was not completely cured till later my paretns went to see a fortune-teller and got a special prescription from her. After I took the medicine, I got completely cured, which made me happy again.
So I can see how important it is to be healthy. Thus arises the saying, "Health is happiness".
Thanks for the discussion, maximax. Take care.
@gitfiddleplayer (10362)
• United States
20 Oct 12
I don't think any kid likes school that's why you have to make it fun for them so they can learn and feel like its part of their daily routine. I've never had poor health that lasted, I had a hip replacement a few years ago but I've rehabbed from that quite nicely. I hope your son feels better.
@srjac0902 (1169)
• Italy
20 Oct 12
The classmates commit a great crime at times. It may happen that from the first day itself, without any reason there can be leader and influence others to be his friends and then they may isolate a single child and even torture that child. I have seen such a scene years back. It is a very sad experience. The child needs to communicate such an experience with someone, either with Parents or with the teacher. Usually such individualized children become very silent, moody, not willing to go to school because they do not find any attraction towards anyone and no companion may offer friendship. The classteacher must be ever watchful right from the beginning.The trauma might have been cause due to both or either side. But the teacher must try to rectify, if it is beyond her way then a councelor must take care of such situations.
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
20 Oct 12
Thanks for your great words of wisdom. I wish that my disabled son could go into a different class then he wouldn't have to suffer having B in his class. The head teacher said my disabled son needs to get used to loud children. My disabled son is just 5 years old. He has a form teacher, a Maths teacher and a Literacy teacher. His class are a mixed Year One and Year Two class. These children are aged 5 to 6 and 6 to 7 years old. He could have this teacher for two years. In January a new head teacher will start at that school.
