Why Every Woman Should Be Financially Independent? Even the Married one...
@aliahnicole69 (231)
Philippines
October 20, 2012 8:13am CST
Money causes a lot of arguments between couples,only because it's a topic we're not usually comfortable discussing,make sure he is mature enough to understand that equality in income is not the standard for a happy marriage,that earning less should not bruise his ego. Actually marriage is not all about money its about the values you share as a couple.
Nowadays we live in a different world and lifestyles, I am in favor of wives working as long as they will not neglect their obligation being the wife and the mother. I love having my own job and my own money whereas it also teaches responsibilities but not to compete with him though i can,but to be of help in any way or situation and one way of taking care of my special needs as a woman and to be able to afford my passions in life.
Well I guess keeping your relationship honest and healthy through communication and transparency will make it easier for you to deal with everything.
I will not ask you Money or Honey,because we cannot live by money alone,nor honey without money, so the choice is yours.
3 people like this
19 responses
@lynboobsy11 (11343)
• Philippines
20 Oct 12
I admire woman who knows how to work and have capacity in earning money. Not just to be a financially independent inside marriage since the man is still the provider of
the family. Sometimes men miss-understood this kind of situation and threaten to them if a woman has a decent work and can stand on their own. But they must understand that not all the time we must be dependent on them, time will come they will not be around for us and the worst thing they will left us with our kids. Best thing if they will left us with millions in our hands.
2 people like this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
20 Oct 12
All too often, Lyn, husbands don't want their wives to work. My former pastor refused to allow his wife to work. She wanted to work so bad because she felt so incomplete. She had 4 kids, and her husband felt she needed to be there all the time at home to take care of the kids, but the kids were growing up and didn't need her so much. She had no job skills, but wanted to get some.
Then her husband got sick and couldn't work. She had to get a job. She had no skills and had no credentials, such as a high school diploma or college degrees or anything. So she started her own business as a house cleaner. She had several clients and supported them.
Her husband is well again, and she only works when she wants to now. She dropped some of her clients and has kept a few that she takes care of. She likes being independent. She knows that she could go back full time to work if she wanted to, but she is a bit tired now and a bit older, so she has slowed down with her working.
1 person likes this
@olivetree27 (495)
• Greece
13 Nov 12
I believe that the purpose of some women why they wanted to work despite their husband working is not only to earn money but to give themselves a sense of accomplishment. Staying at home and relying on your husband for your everyday expenses can lose your morale and self-confidence especially if you finish a degree. Being a mother and a wife is the most rewarding job for me, but growing up independent and working hard to get what I want make it difficlut for me to ask money for my own expenses especially if it's for my personal stuffs. I think husbands should allow their wives to work even part-time if the wife ask for it in order for the wife to achieve something for herself and not be stuck in the house doing household chores. After all, happy woman make a great wife and mother which can contribute to a happy family.
1 person likes this
@olivetree27 (495)
• Greece
13 Nov 12
And of course, a wife should never forget her responsiblities with the children and to her husband :)
1 person likes this
@kukueye (1759)
• Malaysia
21 Oct 12
yes of course it is important to have your own saving accunnts for the future and yourself.And of course extra cash for yourself to spent on your own venture hobbies and such.An understanding and good husband or boyfriend will sure encourage your to have your own saving and encourage your to fill it up with your own job salary or side income.Nowsday having extra cash saving or investment where possible is good for a rainy day.
1 person likes this
@aliahnicole69 (231)
• Philippines
21 Oct 12
I agree, it called "practical wise" in a harmless manner to which both sides understand each others opinion regarding money matter.
1 person likes this
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
20 Oct 12
i agree when you say that many couples argue because the husband earns less than the wife. i think that doesnt matter who earns more. as long as both can be financially well^^ for me is good that we women have our independency. for example if i was married and my husband was the only one working and someday we got divorced what would i do? with 40 years old or more would be hard for me to find a job if i never worked before. so i think its important that we work too. so we can have our own life if something happened in the future.
1 person likes this
@aliahnicole69 (231)
• Philippines
21 Oct 12
That is exactly my point,being married is not about money but having someone who will stay beside you for the rest of your life...though it will takes a lot of understanding in give and take process but it works. Nowadays we have to be more practical by thinking about our security for the whole family too.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72281)
• Philippines
20 Oct 12
My husband is unemployed from the time we got married and i was the only one bringing money into the family but it has never become an issue between us. He respects me and i still respect him. We never discuss about the money because we don't want it to be the reason for our argument. He will be taking his nursing licensure exam this December and i know that after that he will try to find his own job too.
1 person likes this
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
20 Oct 12
thats great that you are always there for your husband. many people say that guys that dont work is because are taking advantage of their girlfriends. but i disagree in some cases like yours. he wanted to find a job and tried but couldnt. it wasnt his fault. im happy to know that he will have his license soon^^ i wish then he can find a job ^^ its good that you always treated him well^^
@HomeBase (1153)
• United States
21 Oct 12
Wow, call me naive, but I never thought of having one's own money as being a way to compete with one's husband. Isn't that funny?? I never thought of it that way until I read it in this discussion.
I remember years ago, a man told me that his marriage was in trouble because his wife competes with him. It didn't even dawn on me that he meant financially...wow
It is good for a woman to have her own money because one cannot live without money. If the husband was to suddenly not be able to work, for whatever reason, then the woman is there with her income to pick up the slack. Also, a woman having her own money makes her feel secure about her place in the family, and in society as a whole. She is a contributor.
It is good for a woman to have her own money because one cannot live without money. If the husband was to suddenly not be able to work, for whatever reason, then the woman is there with her income to pick up the slack. Also, a woman having her own money makes her feel secure about her place in the family, and in society as a whole. She is a contributor. 1 person likes this
@HomeBase (1153)
• United States
21 Oct 12
I understand your point.
This man I'm talking about, who told me about the problems with his wife, now, just today , I think I understand what he was talking about. I think that they did have problems in their marriage because she was earning more. I just never thought about it like that, until now.
1 person likes this
@aliahnicole69 (231)
• Philippines
21 Oct 12
Again,women are largely doing this out of necessity but not to compete.Perhaps because men of this generation were raised in the wake of the women's movement- a culture that introduced values of equality, many of them don't seem to have problem with their wives earning more than they do.. It's just a matter of understanding and one way of supporting each other.
@dainy1313 (2370)
• Leon, Mexico
30 Oct 12
Hello
aliahnicole, I`m against avoiding home responsibilities for money. I grew up with a nanny and home maker for almost 19 years. My mother was most of her time outside at work.
I tried to change this lifestyle. So my husband and me dialogued too much, and we arranged I`d be a stay at home mom. He supported my financially all the time when children were small, I helped home finances with my own appartement, we didn`t pay rent, and sewing children clothes
.
Now 15 years later, I have my own home business. I`m trying to be independent, children have grown up, they are no more babies. My business is growing too, and I can help each time more with the home expenses
.
I`m happy because I had time and love, and support to raise my kids, as I would have liked to be raised, and I`m working online since 5 years ago, with success.
Blessings aliahnicole... dainy
aliahnicole, I`m against avoiding home responsibilities for money. I grew up with a nanny and home maker for almost 19 years. My mother was most of her time outside at work.
I tried to change this lifestyle. So my husband and me dialogued too much, and we arranged I`d be a stay at home mom. He supported my financially all the time when children were small, I helped home finances with my own appartement, we didn`t pay rent, and sewing children clothes.
Now 15 years later, I have my own home business. I`m trying to be independent, children have grown up, they are no more babies. My business is growing too, and I can help each time more with the home expenses.
I`m happy because I had time and love, and support to raise my kids, as I would have liked to be raised, and I`m working online since 5 years ago, with success.
Blessings aliahnicole... dainy @dainy1313 (2370)
• Leon, Mexico
30 Oct 12
My mother was always financially independent, and my parents got divorced after 29 years of marriage.
If God doesn`t keeps the house, nobody will. Isn`t it aliahnicole?
Blessings... dainy
@dainy1313 (2370)
• Leon, Mexico
14 Nov 12
Hi dear olivetree you are so tender, I´m sure you´ll be a great wife and mother!
Blessings olivetree... dainy
dear olivetree you are so tender, I´m sure you´ll be a great wife and mother!
Blessings olivetree... dainy@olivetree27 (495)
• Greece
13 Nov 12
I think not all mothers reason for working is just to avoid home responsibilities. Sometimes they do it because they have to and the father's salary is not enough. But you're right. Mothers should really stay at home and I'm really impress and inspired with your story establishing a business at home. Although staying at home is more easy for you as you have your own apartment where you can get extra income, you still tried to contribute extra income by having your own business. I wish I can be like you when I get married :)
1 person likes this
@GemmaR (8517)
•
20 Oct 12
I think that it is good for a woman to be able to earn her own money, because I have never liked the idea of having to ask my partner for money when I wanted it for anything. It is much better now that women are able to have proper jobs because it means that they can be truly independent in their own lives. In fact, I am in the position at the moment where I am actually earning more than my partner. I don't think that he likes it very much, but I don't mind being the one who earns as I am sure that he will be earning more than me at some point in the future.
1 person likes this
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
24 Oct 12
I have not, in my 17 years of marriage, asked my husband to buy me anything. I just don't feel right. I may buy something using money from the business we had, but never asked him from those he earned. I like to spend my own money so that he wouldn't get mad at me if I buy things for myself, for the house or for my kids.
1 person likes this
@bhabycatch013 (9150)
• Philippines
20 Oct 12
hi aliah,
I grew up having a life that I have almost everything my parents raised me that I should be independent specially in financial aspect my father reminds me that I should know how to earn money so my husband will not look down on me I take this in a positive way I know he means that if I can prove to my partner that I am tough one he will not look down on me of course relationships has upside down,
happy mylotting
@aliahnicole69 (231)
• Philippines
21 Oct 12
Hi Bhabycatch,
Well all i can say is, if a man really likes you and he wanted to be with you for the rest of his life, he must accept everything about you and must love you just the way you are.
1 person likes this
@pahak627 (4558)
• Philippines
21 Oct 12
Hi bhabycatch I agree with your father. Most men looked down women because they think that they are stronger in every aspects. Well, now they are wrong, in my life as a working wife, my husband showed that he looked down on me only when he is drunk. A person tells the truth when he is drunk.
1 person likes this
@aliahnicole69 (231)
• Philippines
21 Oct 12
Hi Bembzee,
Thanks for that positive attribution...simple yet meaningful.
@Angelpink (4034)
• Philippines
21 Oct 12
That is very correct , a woman should be financially independent , because it is for her own good also. As they say life is so mysterious and unpredictable .We can't tell if marriage life will be successful . We can guarantee that couples will stick for life. Nothing is permanent but change. What if relationship won't work ? What if husband is harming you ? We can't really tell what will happen tomorrow . What if marriage will break ? What if husband will leave ? How can you eat now ? How can you survive ? If you not no income ? That is why so important to have our own income , because if worst comes to worst then , still kids future will be secured. Still you can support the kids and you will make it even though single parent . Also if we are financially independent , our self esteem is always high and no one can oppress or look down on us.
1 person likes this
@JinBinLai (52)
• China
21 Oct 12
If someone want to be independent in personality he/she first must be independant in finance, whether someone is he or she. On the other hands, taking a job means you taking part in social activities more or less, these will make your mental and physical health turn better.
1 person likes this
@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
20 Oct 12
This is why I still am not married until now - I am preoccupied with the thought that I should be financially stable before settling down. Sometimes fate seems to be agreeing in a way that I have not found the right man yet even though I am not short of men who like me. If I ever get married, I would still want to set up my own business.
@aliahnicole69 (231)
• Philippines
21 Oct 12
Hi joliefille,
Like what i have said before, if the guy really likes you and wants to be with you for the rest of his life he will accept you just the way you are and he will love everything about you and the other way around; if the right guy comes on your way you must be at least willing to give up everything, take and accept everything about him too. That's true love is all about, and money should not be an interest for argument. Being married is another stage of our life that we should be prepared of for another new challenges but it's worth fulfilling dear.
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
21 Oct 12
Money is a big problem is relationships! Alot of marriages end over money! I have heard of one partner controlling all the money! Then they don't tell the other what they are doing with the money after paying the bills! I work with a woman who's husband is the money controller in the household and she most of time has no idea he does with some of the money! She will ask but he won't tell her! Not good! I have friend who is seperated from with his wife and one of the reasons is money. She took care of all the bills and would buy things without telling him! I believe a couple should know what is being paid and the bills should be paid by both! Then talk about buying things and agree on it before buying something! Then there are stories of woman who let their husbands pay all the bills,never ask questions and later find out they are in deep debt,usually when a divorce happens! People need to wake up and have some common sense! No wonder we have so many people in money woes! It is nuts!
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
20 Oct 12
This is the common reason why many women stays in an abusive relationship -money.
Women who cannot afford to take care/fed her child/children prefer to stay in an abusive relationship due to these reason.
This has been a long issue- women in-dependency when it comes to financial status.
Marriage should not be a hindrance for every woman/wife to earn as long as they are capable of doing so.
However, we cannot also judge those women/wives who are not capable to work (due to different reason/s) and this is reality, not every woman/wife is financially stable before or after getting married.
@ravisivan (14079)
• India
21 Oct 12
In the earlier days women were dependent on men. Nowadays women are independent whether they earn or not because they compare with other earning women. this causes friction. men also treat non earning women slightly lower. to avoid this women should be earning though it may be a small amount.
practically there are problems in women going for employment -- responsibility for children is with women only -- they have to manage one child -- people are not happy with one child --two or more children --in this case unless you have people to assist the house wife will find it difficult.
@Raine38 (12250)
• United States
20 Oct 12
On top of the practical reasons and the financial aspect as to why a woman should be financially independent or at least have money of her own through her own work, I would like to add that every woman owes it to herself to be able to stand on her own feet should the need arises. Also, she's educated, she's got skills and talents which she can use to its full potential as an income-generator. It's not all about the money, though I must say it is very important. But we women must also have this sense of professional accomplishment one way or another.
