Do you need closure?

For me and hubby it really just depends on what we are disagreeing about. I don't think we really fight or argument as much as we disagree on things. Most of the time we either both just drop it and wait till we are both cool down and try to bring it back up later or just leave it alone all together. Some things for us just isn't worth time to bring it back up.

D*mn!! You seek to destroy them? You wish them ill for the rest of their lives??!! D*mn again!! Good grief!! Well, for me it depends on what the argument was about and who it was with. I have a philosophy about arguing, and that philosophy is that I have to care about the person in order to argue. There are some people who have argued with me, I really don't care about them one way or another, so I just walk away and let them "win". Whatever, they don't matter to me. See ya. I might say a few words to put them in their place, but I'm not gonna stand and argue with the person if I don't even care about them. If the argument is with a good friend, and I care about them, then yes, that argument will bother me and get under my skin. Then, I have to do something about it. If I'm at fault, I need closure and so I have to go to that person. If they are at fault and they don't apologize, it makes me realize that they were not a real friend in the first place. I might be mad about the situation for awhile, depending on how deeply it hurt me, but sooner or later I forgive them, but I don't forget it. I remember what kind of person they are so that I don't get mixed up in their web again. But I forgive them and let karma take care of it. I don't like giving my energy to other people through hatred and bad thoughts.

Well, I do walk away; but not until I've made my case ... my 'this is how it is.' Then it's good to walk away, to give all sides a chance to back up for some wider perspective.

If it's a fight I have with my boyfriend I prefer to have closure and talk about our argument so we can move on and not stay angry with each other. But if it's anyone else I don't really need to have closure after a fight. If I was wrong I'll apologize if I end up seeing them but if not, I just move on and don't stress about it.

it is bad to curse people but it is we've done when in the state of too much anger. i cannot slept well if argued with someone else even if it is not my fault or not. the same thing happened but of different reasons. when if it is my fault, i do not have a peace of mind for hurting someone. and if it is not my fault, i cannot calm down because of furiousity and would think the reasons why such thing happened that the person afforded to hurt you and all. but would seek apologies to the person i mistaken with. but to those who had hurt me, i do not want to talk with him or her. but if ask sincere apology, then who am i to turn the person down. i guess, i am matured enough to do what is needed to do and vengeance would not be mine. thanks :)

For me I want closure at once, I want to talk about what was going on between us especially if he/she is part of my family. But I want to talk about it when we are both calm but not everyone has the courage to talk about it when the war is over. So, when that problem rise up again it is still the same you argue with each other again, so it doesn't end. Because it is never had a closure.

ARe you talking about romantic situations or any situation? In romantic situations I like closure or I have a hard time moving on...in other areas it just depends on the situation.

Sararuthbeth hi Yes I really do as I do not want to feel that anger for days but I try reverse psychology I start killing them with kindness and they get it that i am out to stop them from fighting with me. Either we become friends or they move out.This way I have not lowered myself to their level.I used to give back as aood as I got but realized that' made me as bad as them., but if this is with a loved one yes I d o sit d own and talk it out of course. family and beloved friends are worth that.

Most people do need closure, because if they are not able to get this then it just means that they're going to carry on going over the same things in their mind. It is always good to be able to put things behind us, as it means that we no longer have to give them any attention. I know that a lot of things have gone wrong in my life in the past, but I will always talk to the person who I have argued with to make sure that either we can be friends again or at least if we can't be friends we don't have to be enemies anymore.

I don't need closure from them...I close it myself. I usually walk away and never look back. I won't bother myself with them again if it was a situation I felt they were out to hurt or damage me. I don't seek revenge..I am one of those that leave it to karma...that stuff does the trick most of the time. I have went out of my way before to show someone that tried to hurt me how good I was doing though..does that count?

Depends on the situation. If the person is willing to settle the matter then it would be better to talk and have some closure. It is always best to part ways with peace, but if the other person doesn't want to talk and settle whatever the issue is- then I won't insist.

Wow. Okay, I have been there and done that many times. I am not one that can just come down off an adrenaline rush and be fine. I need time to come down. And I feel bad for anyone who gets near me before I do calm down. Now, I will try to explain what I meant after an argument, but only if the other person is willing to. I am not one that apologizes when I know I am right. And if the other person is looking for one, they will be waiting a life time. But if I am wrong I will apologize. So in essence I need to walk away and calm down. Otherwise there is no talking to me what so ever. But I am reasonable. So like I said I would be willing to sit down at a later time and discuss the situation.

I'd say that carrying hate and the desire to destroy will hurt you more than the other person. The Apostle Paul wrote to the Romans near the end of Chapter 12 that we should not avenge ourselves, but leave it to God and do good to our enemies, because by so doing we will heap burning coals upon their heads. I know the New Testament is not your book, but he's also quoting parts of your book , I believe, to back up his case. They point is that your enemy will suffer more if you do him good by giving him a drink when he's thirsty or feeding him if he's hungry, because then he will feel guilty for what he's done to you. I always try to resolve important arguments and hurt feelings with people I care about if the issue is important. If it's an issue which really isn't that important, such as how much something cost or what we had for dinner on a given day, it's not worth pursuing the conversation to prove I'm right. When I believe I have hurt another person, I always try to make it right. The problem is that sometimes we can say something that hurts another person and we don't even realize it hurt the person. That''s why Jesus said if another hurts us, we should go to that person with our complaint so that he will know and can apologize or make it right. Cultural and other differences in perspective can leave some people in the dark about how another might react to their words.

For me it depends on the situation. If it's a stranger, I might give them my thoughts, if they still want to argue with me, I will walk away. It's better for me to know that I am the better person to just walk away. If it's a loved one, I still give my thoughts and if they still want to fight I can forgive them but I will always remember what they did to me. After a while I might bring the subject up again and might find out they didn't mean what they said and then I can have closure. Some times having closure is best for all, because you never know how long some one will be around and there's no sense in wishing them bad luck, because I believe in karma. I try to get along with everyone and if I can't I give myself distance from those people who want to fight with me.

The only time I need or give closure in an argument is the rare occurrence when I have an argument with my husband. The reason being, I want to make sure we both know why we had the fight in the first place, and make sure any problems get solved.

Well, I don't wish them ill. I've tried that and it ends up just eating at me. I like to talk things out. It doesn't always happen. And with some people I know not to even try. They like to pretend nothing happened. And in the past when the really hateful people have tried to get at me, I just did everything I could to cut off contact. I think of a situation with a girl I used to work with. We also went to the same college although she was four years older than I. She did something at work to a kid that I would have been irresponsible not to report. So I reported it, and they told her who had reported her. Maybe that was right, maybe that was wrong. She probably had a right to know her accuser, but then again, if you tell the person who "ratted" on them, you set them up for a toxic conversation. Well, when she found out I told on her she confronted me in a very hateful way. I ended up having to quit a couple of weeks later (health problems started). I hadn't lost my temper with her during that time and while I didn't go out of my way to interact with her, I was polite when I had to. She went to great trouble to give me the evil eye. lol Cut to six years later when that same girl meets up with a girl who used to be a roommate of my sister. They start talking and my sister comes up. Which leads to me. Which leads to that girl talking about the work situation six years prior. My sister's former rommmate was perplexed why she would bring it up. I had not talked to my sister about it, so her roommate certainly didnt' know about it. When I heard about this I was absolutely amazed. I had not thought one bit about that for six years. Evidently, it had bugged her for a long time. I guess I was able to get my own closure where she didn't.