Blue feet, numb legs, weakness and other cool stuff.
By mentalward
@mentalward (14690)
United States
October 23, 2012 2:02pm CST
Some of you know of the problems I've had with my husband. They are extreme, for the most part. This involves the problem he's causing himself and, of course, I'm caught up in the backdraft.
He had a triple bypass less than a year ago on his aorta and both femoral arteries due to massive, total blockages. That greatly relieved his symptoms of blue feet, numbness and pain in his feet and legs.
Here's the problem: he never stopped his extremely bad habits that caused the blockages in the first place. He continued to smoke just as much, to drink maybe even MORE beer than he had been (daily, at least six, sometimes a dozen beers) and eating extremely unhealthy foods (fried, greasy, fatty, excessively salty). And, of course, there's the added stupidity of never exercising, always sitting on his butt, at work and at home.
So, the past few weeks he's complained of his legs and feet going numb, feeling extreme weakness and a lot of pain from his lower back on down. He's been to a spine surgeon who can't see any issues that would cause his problems.
Today, he came home very early from work complaining of weakness, pain, numbness and extreme fatigue. He took his boots off and his feet were completely blue. He said, "Oh, they only do this when I sit; they go back to normal when I walk around." I told him it doesn't matter, blue feet are NOT GOOD.
Can you see why I've had to distance myself emotionally from this man? Have you ever known anyone as stupid and as stubborn as this one? Do you know anyone with a death wish? I'm convinced he has one.
P.S. He has an appointment this coming Thursday with his cardiologist. MAYBE he'll take things seriously this time but I doubt it.
7 people like this
7 responses
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Oct 12
hi mentalward you are in a no win situation are you not? You could walk aw y
from him and retrieve some of yo ur life yet hes your husband and hes not
trying to help himself get better. looks like he has undone all the good
that heart surgery did for him.He has the same symptoms. maybe the
cardiologist can scare him into taking good care of himself. Yes to
me the word stupidity does come to mind.I have never known anyone
so blind to whats wrong with him and so dumb about caring for himself.
I think some day you are going to have to think of you and leave him
to make a life f or yourself. at this rate he cannot liuve too logn without making changes in his life style.
2 people like this
@mentalward (14690)
• United States
25 Oct 12
Hi Hatley. He went to his doctor's appointment today, then texted me to say they were admitting him right away. He has a total blockage of one of the grafts from his bypass in his aorta and they're going to try an angiogram to clear it. Looks like this really is the beginning of the end for him.
It's horrible to say but I finally see light at the end of the tunnel.
@cerebellum (3863)
• United States
23 Oct 12
My ex was like that. He had a triple bypass and seemed to think that since he had the operation everything was okay. He still kept eating the worst food out there and didn't exercise at all. He was overweight, and didn't do anything about it. In about two years he had another heart attack and this time they put stints in, and I guess he felt the same way, because he didn't change anything at all. Two hear attacks later, a mutual friend said he had not changed anything yet. He also didn't have any insurance, so he was kind of lucky he got the treatments he got.
@mentalward (14690)
• United States
23 Oct 12
Wow, he had that many heart attacks and STILL wouldn't alter his lifestyle? It's unbelievable how people can ignore such serious warnings. After ONE heart attack, I'd have completely turned my life around! I wouldn't even eat one french fry or one tiny piece of fried chicken. But, that's me. I wouldn't have made myself that sick in the first place.
Your ex was indeed extremely lucky that he not only survived all those heart attacks but that he got treatment for them without insurance. Wow. Why is it that people like that keep on living while some people who take such good care of themselves stay sick and die young? I just don't get it.
I have a feeling that my husband could have every single artery in his body bypassed and he'd still continue to smoke, drink and eat bad food. He claims that he's smarter than most people (no one else says that, only him) but he's proving that he's more stupid than most.
2 people like this
@mentalward (14690)
• United States
24 Oct 12
That sounds exactly like my husband, cerebellum! Nothing bad will happen and his bypass gave him another 40 years to mistreat his body. Plus, he'd eat a cup of yogurt a week and think that would counteract all the bad stuff he did to his body all week long.
His sister (the one he loves because they get falling-down drunk every time they get together) is no better than he. She claims that because she takes aloe vera internally she'll never have heart problems but she eats exactly like he does, plus she smokes and drinks also. The only difference with her is that she's more physically active than he. She'll have the same problems, it'll just take a little longer to show up. (She's a year younger than he is.)
Sometimes stupidity runs in families. You can't help these people because they can't see their own problems. It's so sad.
@cerebellum (3863)
• United States
24 Oct 12
I really do think it was a combination of him thinking nothing bad was going to happen to him, and thinking everything had been fixed. He cut the seeds out of cucumbers and totmatos and still got diverticulitis. He wouldn't eat seeds, but still ate fried foods. It didn't make much sense to me.
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
31 Oct 12
I suggest that you go with him to his cardiologist, and explain to the doctor exactly what is going on, and why it's such a problem. Tell him that he won't follow doctors orders, what he eats and drinks, how his feet look, if you have a digital camera, take pictures. If your husband goes all by himself, he's liable to omit some info, so the doc won't know the truth, and won't think it's as bad as it is.
@Maggiepie (7816)
• United States
26 Oct 12
This is Elic on Maggie's machine - I wish we lived closer, I'd buy that robotic lawn mower! 
1 person likes this
@mentalward (14690)
• United States
25 Oct 12
I'm sure it was. I know that our BP drops when we're tired, unless there's a serious problem.
Speaking of that, he's in the hospital right now. They took him directly from the cardiologist's office to the hospital and admitted him. He's THAT bad. He told me that they found a total blockage in one of the grafts from the bypass on his aorta. That means that he has a buildup of plaque everywhere else, too. I'm sure his heart is very close to being totally blocked. The last I heard, they were doing a CAT scan on him.
They'll either be doing an angiogram or another bypass today or tomorrow, unless they end up just pulling the sheet over him. I honestly don't think he'll live much longer, even if he does survive this one and even if he begins a completely healthy lifestyle (which I can't see happening).
1 person likes this
@Rick1950 (1576)
• Lima, Peru
24 Oct 12
Hi,Ward, yes, you talked about the illness of your husband and his heart operation a time ago. And it is a pity that he didn't follow the guidelines of the physician. But what can you do? How can you convince him to do the right things with his health? I think that you have tried it but he hasn't hear you. You can not force him, however I guess that you feel bad and are worried about his health. Your husband is in the hands of the doctors, only they can show him the right way to be healthy, but he must follow that way.
@mentalward (14690)
• United States
24 Oct 12
Yes, I was just joking with that last sentence. I have to keep my sense of humor these days to keep from crying all the time. It's so frustrating living with someone who refuses to see how unhealthy his lifestyle is and what it's doing to himself and everyone around him.
I do hope he can overcome his issues and be truly happy for the first time in his life. I'd like nothing better than to see that happen to him. We'll see, I suppose.
@Rick1950 (1576)
• Lima, Peru
24 Oct 12
I expect that your last sentence was not in earnest and that you was making a joke. I think money is important in life, but not always brings happiness. May be the reason for keep doing that kind of life is his childhood like you say. I hope that he can solve and overcome his internal problems. Have a nice day!
@mentalward (14690)
• United States
25 Oct 12
I know, AP! But, you know what they say, only the good die young. Still, he's only 52 and is, at this very moment, looking at another angiogram at the very least or full-on open-heart surgery at the most, either today or tomorrow.
He went in for his appointment and they sent him directly to the hospital where he was admitted. He told me they found that one of the grafts from his bypass on his aorta is totally blocked. If that can become totally blocked from completely clear in less than a year, the rest of his arteries have to be in extremely bad shape, including those around his heart.
I honestly don't see him living much longer, maybe he won't even leave the hospital alive this time. It makes me so angry when people like this idiot can actively work to destroy their health and stay alive when there are people like your mother and my sister and father who have no choice in the matter.
Well, guess I should go on over to the hospital to see what's going on. Then, I think I'll come home and look for those life insurance papers of his. I think I'll be needing them soon.
