love and obsession

So sorry to hear. I can somehow relate to you because my husband, then bf, and I used to be in a long distance relationship as well. Many times we almost break up because of my insecurities. It's like I'm the one playing the part of your bf, I'm the one who needs constant messages and reassurances. Whenever he's late for our Skype I would throw a tantrum, whenever he can't reply to my emails or messages I will be in tears. It gets to him and I can understand him now. On my part, I was so insecure because I was also working in a foreign country then, with no close friends or family near me. So being my bf, I expected a lot from him. We did took a time out then we decided to go to my home country and we straightened things out. I was sorry for my childishness and I have learned to trust in our relationship even more.

My ex was like that. I found it flattering at the start too and thought it was his way of showing how much he cares about me and was missing me. But it was not. It was a way to control every step I took and I got more and more nerves plus annoyed about the fact he was calling me day and night to check out what I was doing and where I was going to. I always had to explain/tell what I did. On the other hand he seldom told what he did or was doing or going to. As we were married he continued his life with his friends but was still checking me out. The only thing I can advise you is set rules! Make rules about when you will be on msg and when not. Make clear you have a life of your own with time you have and want and will share with family, friends, etc. And if he is pushing you to something you don't like just don't let him. Don't go on the internet, do not answer the phone if you don't have the time, mood, energy to it.

I know ho you feel. Receiving constant messages in the beginning could be flattering but dealing with it for a long time can be already annoying. It is as if you could no longer move without even telling him. I think what you made is a good move. Not unless he change his ways, then you may want to be with a boyfriend that allows you to have your own space and time.

I think it is bothersome to be always texting with one another. On the first place, you are abroad to work, so how can you work well, if your boyfriend keeps texting you. Yes, it's flattering that he remembers you every minute. But can he not make it at night or during your rest time and day off instead?

Your boyfriend is not behaving unnatural. You have gone far away from him now and he can't see you any longer, he is becoming insecure and so he is being so obsessive. This is very common in sudden long distance affairs. The best way is talk to him politely and let him know whatever he wants to. Keep him updated always so that he doesn't feel abandoned or missing out. Its true that you need to work harder in long distance relationships. After you go on like this for sometime, make him understand that he's over reacting.