its really irritating and it really hurts...
By jmchan1230
@jmchan1230 (35)
October 27, 2012 12:07am CST
i got irritated when my in-laws would say something against my family. whenever they do that i just shut up as a show of respect but deep down inside of me i really wanna shout. i got affected because my grandma is the one taking good care of my kids financially we have nothing but i worked hard to provide money to my grandma so that they will have allowance for their food and other need my in-laws offer their house to my grandma so that they can visit the kids any time they want because my grandma's house is far from them at first i thought that was a good idea up until now when i receive the text from my father in law saying that we need to prepare my grandma so that when the time comes that he retires he want to live in their house again and we need to move my grandma and the kids to another house. i really don't get the point for them doing that because first they are the ones who offered the house second my children are their grandson and grand daughter why shoo them out of the house? its really irritating and it really really hurt on my part. my grandma sacrifices many things just to look after their grandchildren then this is what they gonna repay her?
2 people like this
8 responses
@Raine38 (12389)
• United States
27 Oct 12
And that's why me and my husband decided not to leave with any of our parents when we married. They are our parents but there will always be things that will create a friction between in-laws. Even if it hurts you, there's really nothing you can do at this point but to prepare your grandma and kids for the impending move. I know it is unfair but at least that will be the last time that anyone of them will ever have something to throw into your face that belongs to them. Just keep your cool for the sake of your kids, someday you will never have to hear their demeaning words. Anyway, wouldn't it be better to live somewhere they cannot have any influence over?
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
3 Nov 12
Hi Jmchan,
I am not understanding why your children are living with your Gram? Do you live there too? How long will it be before your father in law retires and where is he living now? It is nice that he is providing a place for your grandmother as it is . Could it be that he is not being mean but that he owns that home because he planned to live in it after retiring and was just kind enough to let her stay there until that time came?? I don't know your family so it is hard to say from what info you've given us here. Is there a way that you and your husband could get a place for you all?
@GemmaR (8517)
•
27 Oct 12
I have been in this situation quite a few times, and I think that the main reason that people say things that are bad about other people is often because they are jealous and they want to make out as though they are much better than them. It is a shame that it is often the in laws that do this though because they are the ones who should be working together to help the family work, but yet most of the arguments that happen in life are because of family matters. We should all try to learn to live in harmony together.
@Bhebelen14 (5194)
• Philippines
27 Oct 12
I can find a lot of issues and problems regarding family members in here. No wonder that these issues are common, in fact, when we wake up in the morning and until we retire in the evening, it is our family who are always there. We have differences, that's the reality and we can't avoid any clashes and problems as we go along. I can say that I can relate here since we are in the same situation once. But I remain to be humble and have an open mind. Sometimes I avoid those confrontations but the problem keeps coming back. What I did, therefore, was I confronted them, in a calm manner. We talked and sorted things out. Everything did well through effective communication. I hope everything will turn out to be alright there. Thanks
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
27 Oct 12
I have had the same problem here, I just learned to keep it inside me. My exs mothers was always so mean to me about my brother and sisters. But I just listended and never said anything back to her. have agreat weekend there.
@eagle2lie (54)
• China
27 Oct 12
Maybe it is good choice that you take tries to comunicate with your in-laws,especially your father in law or have some talks with your wife.First of all people should know how to be grateful when he got help from others include relatives,your grandma is great and deserves all your appreciation,even your in-laws.On earth they ever presented the house which belongs to them as your home,where your grandma took care of your kids.it is the key talking to each other in family when there are some family problems on the line..
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
27 Oct 12
There will always be clashes between in laws as long as they are around. My in laws could be that harsh, too. The only difference is they do not let me hear the things they say against my parents. I just learn them from other people, and sadly, sometimes from my husband. It hurts so much if they do tell bad things about my parents. I do not think that they are greater than anybody else and they do not have any reason to be saying things that way. I never dared tell my parents about it. I do not want to hurt them. I just think to myself that although my in laws are filthy rich, they do not have the characteristic of a just person which both of my parents possess and I am proud of my parents.
@today2 (88)
• United States
27 Oct 12
There is no comforting answer. You know what needs to be done no matter how hard it is it will make you and your kids stronger (grandma already is).
I don't know the in-laws side of the story but if this is close to being accurate they will get old at some point. When that happens their grand children won't forget I hope they forgive though.
I want to yell obscenities at this point but... family is always first, sacrifice to make things better especially for the children. You now know who you can depend on. I wish you and the kids the best (grandma is the best).
