Friends, this is serious . I need your help.
By gary23
@gary23 (425)
India
November 1, 2012 12:48pm CST
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend since 9 years. He used to respect me a lot. But now he's always angry with me.Today he checked my phone and discovered that I picked up an unknown number. When I explained him that it was related to my work , he just got furious. He doesn't want me to talk to any male colleague. When I met him, I was too young. I was in my school then . And since it was a girls school this aspect of him was never seen by me. In college, we had to work in groups. So I used to talk to my batchmates but till date, I have no male friends with whom I am in regular contact. But I am an independent girl and very soon I am going to work in a MNC full time. I have to give my phone number there and my boss can anytime call me for urgency. I can't imagine life if he keeps on behaving the same. I will not do a job. That's much more ok with him than me talking to a male colleague just related to work. I am really sorry for writing so long. But I can't share this with my family and friends. But I can't see a healthy relationship in future. Again, I can never forget him because I love him tremendously.
1 person likes this
12 responses
@challs12 (548)
• Malaysia
1 Nov 12
I think your boyfriend is not a grown man. He should jealous like that till blocking your life and your career. If he really loves you, he should admit the situation where in work place or sometimes off working hour, you might receive a call for important stuff, otherwise you cannot work. If he really insist disallow you to talk to any man, ask him to support everything you need so that you can stay at home and no man can see your beauty.
He should respect you as you are and love you as you are, but I see he didn't respect you and the relationship. I see 9 years is a very long time for one relationship with no holy relation, ie. marriage. He should have sufficient time to save money and ask you to marry him. He also has enough time to understand you and at the end decided to be with you the whole his life. I think he is a dump. Sorry to say this. He should ask you to marry him 4 years ago.
You should realise that he just doesn't suite you if you want to have a life career. So, think for yourself. Sometimes love just make us blind and stupid.
@gary23 (425)
• India
3 Nov 12
Its not like that . Marraige is a different matter. I am not ready to marry him because I have just completed my graduation and want to become established before marrying. But such behaviour has really confused me. I have been offline since a few days and thought a lot. He has apologised and I am giving him a second chance because I would be very lucky if I could spend the whole life with him. Thanks for your advice.
@challs12 (548)
• Malaysia
3 Nov 12
Good to hear that he admitted his mistake. Well, I didn't mean to see you break off, but, you should have your right to be loved in the real manner. Don't let your love make you blind. Defends yourselves and be what you suppose to be, not as per what your lover wants you to be. And he must accept you as what you are, not what he wants. Well, wish you a happy love ending story soon.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
2 Nov 12
You know the expression: an eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth? I advice you to behave exactly the same way to your bf as he does to you. Check his phone, his computer, his post. Scold at him, be angry at him, etc. He probably will not see the connection between your behaviour and his but it's clear to me he is finding an excuse to get rid of you! His behaviour is not one of someone who is afraid to loose you but of someone who is finding an excuse to dump you. Dump that guy he is no good. There is nothing to loose or to fight for you deserve way better!
@gary23 (425)
• India
3 Nov 12
O please don't say like that. He's not the sort of person who would even think of dumping me. No matter what, he always wants me by his side. He's just not used to this and I think I will require some more time to make him understand my requirements in life not just as his lifepartner but as a woman also.
@vidhyaprakash_2 (7116)
• India
3 Nov 12
Hi friend, sad to hear about your situation. It is really hard to deal with this kind of suspicious person. Trust and understanding is very important in love and relationship, but your bf don't have both of the things. First of all he must understand you as well as trust you, even some others telling ills about you. But he is not in this sort and have doubts about you.
If i am in your position, surely i will avoid him and keep distance from him as well as try my maximum to forget about him. As you mentioned you are loving him madly, so you are in tolerate this kind of issues, try your maximum to change his mind
@huyenhuyen1989hy (15)
• Vietnam
2 Nov 12
I am so sorry when hear that. I also sympathy for boyfriend. In my opinion, he also love you very much so he treated as such. Perhaps he is jealous, maybe he is a selfish person therefore he did not think for your feeling. My advices are: You should patient when he is angry, then you explain cleary your problem to him. I ensure that he will understand and he is not angry. But this is an experience for you, you also should carefully in your relations. I mean you should cleverly in your behave.
@srjac0902 (1169)
• Italy
1 Nov 12
Here you have to appeal to your inner wisom. life is not one day's glamour. It is a years long journey. You may love genuinely. But as you see his reactions of anger, suspicion and checking, excuse me you too have your personality and he has his personality. We need layalty but we cannot cut off from our social relationship. Please go slow. Do not ruin your life under emotions. You need the heart, but you need the head too. You better join the work and go ahead. if your pattern of personality does not suit him let him to wait but without causing you and injury or mental agony.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
2 Nov 12
I feel for you and you are not the only one who maybe having such difficulties in a relationship. Guys tend to be overly possessive of their girlfriends fearing that they girlfriend might find a better person than they are. But also, trust is very important in a relationship. If you have a very strong foundation of your relationship, then you talking to other buys should not be a problem. I also have a similar issue with my husband, although it has lessened overtime. But still, he would not want me to be talking to former classmates who are boys. Just imagine how old I am now!
I have 4 kids and my eldest is turning 19 years old and yet he would get mad at me if he hears me talking to a guy on the phone or if he sees a former classmate of mine would be texting me. ell, he is my husband and couldn't just file an annulment for that, right? But you, you are still young and a great future is still ahead of you. Try talking to your boyfriend about the situation. If he refuses you to grow as a person, then, I think he is not the best person for you to be with.
I have 4 kids and my eldest is turning 19 years old and yet he would get mad at me if he hears me talking to a guy on the phone or if he sees a former classmate of mine would be texting me. ell, he is my husband and couldn't just file an annulment for that, right? But you, you are still young and a great future is still ahead of you. Try talking to your boyfriend about the situation. If he refuses you to grow as a person, then, I think he is not the best person for you to be with.
@Gretchen522 (715)
• China
2 Nov 12
Maybe you are much more excellent now than when he met you the first time, even excellent than him, so he will feel frustration and not quite confident in himself.
You can try to help him be strong and optimistic as before.
Have a nice day!:)
@montevilla (550)
•
2 Nov 12
You are on going in a dilemma, I think you should try to explain why you need to picked up unknown call.And you should try to explain your side if he cannot understand then you have decide if you stay or not.If he really loves you then will not be that narrow minded and for sure he can understand you and if he can't you are facing trouble in the future.
Love is good when both can compromise.Try to to think the best for you and not only for love.
@akmmedhi3 (41)
• India
2 Nov 12
I feel unhappy that you are facing such a problem. I think you boyfriend is feeling insecure and therefore being very much possessive. He is being stupid but you have to get rid of this ridiculous demands. At first you try to talk him about it in a manner which is convenient for him. Ask him why he is doing so in a tactful manner, if you do it correctly then you would be able to know the real reason for which he is doing this. From my perspective I think he fears that he is going to loose you, that is why he is trying to find his importance in your life and it's related matters.
Anyway give it a try and you might save your relationship.
@Bluebell18 (636)
• United States
1 Nov 12
If he's this angry with you, then you should immediately walk away. I know you love him, but love is not suppose to hurt this bad. He doesn't want you talking to any male colleagues. What does that tell you?! He's completely insecure and insecurity can affect a relationship. (Believe me, I know!) Set your boundaries right and take control. You don't have to live this way.
