Would You Charge Them??

I have watched my grandchildren, my step grandchildren and my future step grandchildren and I do not charge. That is me. Are they trying to get back at you because you would not give them $5000 from your husband's accident settlement? Or would they charge you even if you had given them money?

My parents do not neither do my in laws (for my brother in law) but I know my sister in laws folks charge them but her mother watches the kids everyday instead of daycare and left her job to do so.

My parents told me that if I was going out, they wouldn't charge to watch my kids but they would if I was working. It seemed like every time I wanted to go out anywhere, they were busy and couldn't watch the kids. I am a grandma now and see my kids struggling and don't charge them at all to watch the grand babies. I like spending time with them. Sometimes it gets old because I watch them a lot and ask them to find someone else (3 months, every day but sunday) in the family that can keep an eye on them. I would rather watch them for free than to see my kids struggling to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table.

Hi there hon, I'm am so so sorry that your parent's feel this way. I read and went, "WTF". I can't even relate to your parents way of thinking ...not at all. Hear this...I watched my oldest grandson who is now 14 from the time he was an infant full time. I work 2nd shift and my hours were perfect for his mother(my daughter) to drop him off very early in the morning. I also do the 4 day work week so 3 days during the work-week were my days off. I also had 3 other daughters still at home so...trust me...this meanat coming home from work at midnight..showering...going to bed and getting up at 6Am to get my younger daughters to school and then greeting the grandson. My days were hectic, crazy and lacking sleep and solitude time. Not once did I ever ever ever think of asking my daughter for a dime for doing this and I did it week after week until he was in school. Sure...some weeks, I was just exhausted and wanted to tear my hair out but again...never even entered my mind to ask for money. He is now 14 and my closest little buddy ever! How many 14 yr olds do you know that actually want to go and spend time at Gram's?? This kid does. I have no regrets...the bonding was and is great. We watch movies together and share the same type of music, talk for hours and walk...he works on crafts with me..it's awesome. I have a grandaughter who I did not watch full time but she does come to stay with me from time to time....charge to spend time with my grandaughter...hll no!! I consider it a gift! I also have a little guy who is not quite two. I have watched him since birth whether is mom is working or studying for her GED or just getting errands done....I never thought to charge. I'm trying to help them and guess what...I am dam poor and could sure use the help. I often borrow from bill money to make this work...never charge for the grandkids. I look at it as MY time with them and that is a gift!! Sorry your silly parents don't see that.

LMB, your parents are behaving in a very hurtful way to you. I think because you wouldn't loan them the money. I am so sorry they treat you this way. I have watched my grandchildren when they were young and never thought to charge my son. And those kids were little terrors, although not as bad as some I've seen. But I think it's a terrible, hurtful thing they're doing. And if I were you I would stop relations with them. I don't recall them really doing anything for you at all. And I wouldn't want people like that to have an influence on my kids. So you'd be doing yourself a big favor by keeping the kids away from them. They don't deserve to have such unfeeling grandparents. I am just shocked to hear this. For one day they can't help you after all you've done for them. What a shame.

I think this demand from your own parents is totally unreasonable! You should not put a price on the safety and well being of your own children or grandchildren. This is made to seem like a business arrangement or a 'service',whereas it should be more of a no-strings-attached obligation. As you have helped them a lot in the past it is not as though it is an unreasonable demand either.It's not as if you have just turned up after years in the wilderness and dropped your children on them without reciprocal help. I would tell them to get real and tell them you will take your 'business' elsewhere!

It would depend on the circumstances. If my kid was working and it was going to cost me to look after her kids, then I would expect my expenses to be met. If they offered to pay me I might accept, then again, I might not. If it was a one of situation I wouldn't charge them. Just remember, next time they want your help, tell them you will have to charge them for it. Wish I could see the expression on their faces.

My parents never charge me for sending my kids for them to babysit. I don't always send the kids to my parents home but only during emergency cases when my babysitter left without notice. Likewise when I have grandchildren I am more than willing to look after them without charge as I expect them to take care of me when I am old and sick. I have to create a close bonding with them so I will have no problem in future.

No hon, I watch my granddaughter Lucy, and would never even think of charging a price to do this. Do you think your parents are doing this because you wouldn't loan them that money you talked about a while back? Sometimes I watch Lucy for 8-10 hours because my daughter has doctor appointments, or she is at work. It's no big deal to me as I love to do it, and we have fun together. I can't even imagine charging a price to watch my grandchildren once a month...that's pretty sad. They really should be asking you to have them come over more. Do they only see them once a month?

If the time you are spending watching these children is time you could be working at a job then yes, I would charge your child. If it is just an occasional weekend or time for your child to go to an appointment then no, I wouldn't. My mom used to watch my daughter for me while I worked and she charged me $20 a week.

I would never charge my kids. And as a matter of fact when my kids were born, my parents watched them everyday while me and the evil ex went to work. They were more then happy to watch them. They would never charge me. And I would never charge my kids whenever they have kids.

OMG! That is just beyond horrendous in my opinion. It's not like you take advantage of them. I guess your parents don't care to spend time with your kids if they feel they have to charge you. My parents watched my daughter all the time while I worked. We all lived together, but even if we didn't live together my parents would jump at the chance to watch my daughter. It's not that I wouldn't mind offering a love gift, if I took my child to your parents, but to be told I have to pay them is just anti-family to me.

Like you said one day a month or say for docotors appointment, etc I wouldn't nor would anyone in my family (except my siblings would expect money). My parents if I had a good reason, I mean my aniimals are like my children and my parents will watch them if say I have something important. Now if it were all the time it would be completely different situation. Are you the only child? Oldest? Did your parents not approve of your kids? This is strange especially asking them once in awhile. Do they not see the kids? Thats just sad if they dont.

To me that is incredibly strange. My grandparents when I was a kid were delighted when I came to visit. One of my cousins used to stay with my grandmother all day and she never charged my aunt. Are your parents going through some rough times that they're just desperate for money? Honestly that the only reasonable explanation I can think of.

This seems a very strange approach and certainly not what I would expect to hear. Apart from the simple fact of helping a family member, most grandparents would like to see their grandchildren more often.

i would never want money to watch my grandchildren. i would be happy to see them whenever i could. when my kids went over to my parents, i did pack snacks or food for them but they never asked for money. odd that the parents would want money to watch their grandchildren because they grow up so fast!

When my husband and I were working abroad we sent our daughter who was 4 months old by that time here in the Philippines with my parents and they took care of my baby with out any charges but we were sending some amount for my baby's needs like milk, diaper etc.. if we want to give we give my parents something as a gift and not as their salary for taking care of my child. and for now my daughter is living with them tho our home are just beside my parents, they take care of my daughter because they love her and Im not paying them a penny. I dont think its right to charge for taking care of your relatives specially your grandchild but here in the Philippines its a common practice already that grannies do take care of grandchildren for free,

I would like to think that I grew up in a very close family. And that if and when I would ask my parents to watch my kids, they wouldn't have to charge me. But then again, they live half way around the world so I don't really know if they will. I think that when I'm old and have not much to do, it would give me great pleasure to watch my grandkids. And I wouldn't have to charge my own kids for this. Sorry to hear this about your parents.

hi lovingmybabies OMG! I would have been shocked if I didnt participate on your earlier discussions which had given me some hints about the kind of relationships that exist between you and your parents. I wished I could know more (only as I fail to understand how parents can be this way for their children and even grandchildren). Here in India, it is almost always something like - the grandchildren are more important to the grandparents and many will never ever ask (instead I know some who even pay) to babysit or take care of their grandchildren. And, yes, I know you better today. I am sure, you (like me and many grandparents in India) will never even think of asking for money or other favors when it would be for caring for your grandchildren.

Since you mentioned that you helped them in the past, perhaps they need the money? Maybe they believe that if you are paying someone to watch the children, that they would love to be the recipient of the 'job'. I am a 'mammie' and I have never thought to charge for that service. I don't get to see my grandbabies as much as I would like so I would LOVE to sit while the kids went out. Maybe because you know they want to charge, you could make a swap so that both sides would benefit? Perhaps you can bring over groceries 'for the kids' for the time that the parents would watch them. Maybe buy movie tickets so everyone could enjoy a movie. I think there are a lot of ways 'to pay' for the service without actually handing over cash.