Husband vs. family

I can't blame the husband of your friend if he doesn't want to get along with the family of his wife if he hasn't treated that well. That can be degrading in the first place. I would do the same thing if I am the guy. It is not easy to get along if you know that there would always negative that will happen. What is the use of being there with the family if you know that it can torture your feelings? Forget and forgive is not that easy whenever when it sacrifices your moral and emotion.

i see it happen often. time has a way of making both parties come together but the frequency by which it happens is high. maybe it is about adjustment and opposite notions and expectations in the relationship.

I dont think your husband need to get a long with your family . If he insult them , they have mouth also to insult him are ignore him . I would not want to do anything with anyone who treat me badly o matter if they want to kiss and make up now . I support that guy , he is not a door mat and need not to be friend with his wife family , he marry her not them. I can forgive but I will not forget , fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me . I think its ok for him to feel that way, why were they ,mean to him and now expect him to run around doing things happily with them ??? .

There are some situations were the husband really can't get along with his in laws especially if he has a bad experienced with them. But of course being a part of a family they need to forgive and to forget everything so that they can live peacefully without hatred in their hearts.

I think that when you marry someone, you also marry his/her family. It's normal for the husband to feel anger towards his wife's family for the way they might have treated him in the past but he should be learn to forgive and forget if the family is able to accept him. Life is too short to keep hating.

I feel everyone should try to get alone and while they've been mean to him in the past he should still open himself to the idea of getting along with them. He should do it to make his wife happy and eventually to make his kids happy. I have a friend who's mother hates his wife. It was to the point where when the mother in law found out she was pregnant she actually kept her on the phone for over an hour asking over and over again if the baby really belongs to her son. Despite the way she was treated to this day she tries to get along with her mother in law. She sees how upsetting it is for her husband and feels its in everyone's best interest especially their unborn child. If he wishes to have a family with her one day he needs to consider how that will make his children feel fighting with grandma and grandpa all the time. At the same time the in laws should want to see their grandchildren and at the very least try to make peace with him for that reason. What I would do if I was your friend is I'd talk to them both individually about why its important that everyone in the family gets along. Then I'd try and get them both to agree to talk things out like adults. Its time for both sides to suck it up and start over.

I actually completely understand this...Here is why. My husband has done nothing but helped my parents all the time. He has fixed their roof, given them money and worked my father for a while when my husband owned his own company... What do they do all the time even now?? Bad mouth him to everyone!! So, when he hears of things they say he absolutely bad mouths in return and wants nothing to do with them. Can I blame him? NO! He has done nothing but help them but they still bad mouth him to everyone. How wrong is that!?! So I do not expect my husband to forgive and forget because it is hurtful and wrong of them to do this to him after all he has done for them... If the guy was treated wrong by them in the past I don't think it is right to expect him to just forgive and forget. It is hurtful and wrong! Especially if he did nothing wrong to deserve it like my husband didn't.

I think it depends on what kind of relationship you have with your own family. I also wonder why the husband is insulting the in laws but still find the daughter good enough to get married with. What happenend in the meanwhile? And how is her relationship with his family? Personally I would not care if my husband would not like my family or would not like to join me if I visit them. I expect him to say the same to me or accept my choices as well if it comes to that. But I would not not tolerate it hearing him insulting my family in my presence or complaining about them day and night if we are together. There are plenty of reason or feelings why you not might like your in laws (or other people) but if so better ignore/neglect it/them as investing time and energy to insult them and break them and stabbing their backs. There is no good reason or excuse for that. I would be ashamed if my husband would behave like that and I would not stay with him. As an adult you should behave like that.

I have one thing to say. there are many husbands out there, but only one true family.