Am I wrong for this?

Hatley i do agree with you 100%.

I'm not passive at all. If I was passive I wouldn't have told him to have his butt home after the bars close. You're not getting the point that I don't care that he went out, I cared about him being out with someone who was already drunk and possibly wasn't going to feel like driving him home or he may not have left early because the DD was leaving at midnight so he would have been forced to go out to the Casino with the rest of them. If I was passive, I wouldn't have said anything and just said "Yes, dear" to whatever he said. I told him be home at a decent time or you're sleeping outside....I don't know what your definition of passive is, but that's definitely not it......

He doesn't do it often, but I think that over 12 hours out is ample amount of time to be out drinking with your friends. He has to work in the morning and he's a light weight. I'm a stay at home mom and my kids are homeschooled, I don't want to have to be the one having to listen to him puke his brains out in the bathroom all night and then have to deal with his attitude tomorrow when I have to force him to get up for work at 9 am because he's hung over. Then I have to deal with the kids all day while he's at work. So no, it's not the issue of him going out, it's the issue of him bringing his butt home with a drunk friend that is not going to want to drive back out here to drop him off and then drive himself home. If he doesn't come home tonight, it's going to be all bad for him tomorrow. I don't play these games with him and he knows it. He does this every year on his birthday. He goes out with his friends and is 5 or 6 in the morning coming home ringing the doorbell to get in because he's too drunk to put in the right garage code and waking everyone up. All I ask is that he be a little more responsible. He's not 20 something any more. He just turned 40. I'm 27 and I don't even go out like that.

oh, okay. i didn't know that you were younger than him. hey, don't rush his age. time is not standing still for you either. don't try to fit him into a box just because he 40. that's were the rebellion will come in. everyone has it in them at any age. i understand you don't want him out late. that is valid, but don't go getting on his age. you married him knowing how old he is. don't expect anything out of it. he is not going to be the same 40 as everyone else.

I know how hard it is. My husband is also like his age. And believe it or not, he, too is mostly with his friends. I got tried fighting with him about it. If I tell him how annoyed I am with what he has been doing, it just gets us into a fight and I am so tired of being burdened with it. I just one day gave up saying anything. He does what he wants, while I can't do what i want. Just to keep my family in tact, I am the one who just have to give in. You may not agree with me on this, but it is how I manage to still make my family together.

it's obvious you have different perspectives when it comes to the social part of life. you may be just a bit more reserved and responsibility oriented than him. people say mid life crisis, but i think that is just the way he always was. especially if he looks young enough to get away with. lol. still. you have the right to set you boundaries as his wife. he DOES have the responsibility to be home to his wife and children at a respectable hour. that's a fact.

I go out with the girls, but he's usually there because he is friends with all their boyfriends and husbands. He spent it with us up until he got picked up which was around 3-ish...and honestly, my husband is 40 going on 25. Not that he's immature, he's just young at heart. He looks younger than me and I'm 27. He's one of those people in this city that everyone knows, we can't go anywhere that he doesn't run into someone that knows him. It's not the issue of him going out, it's just the issue of him coming home. He's out running around with a bunch of 20-somethings that don't have the same responsibilities that he does. But I agree with you, it is fair. If he's not pulling up at 3:01, I'm changing the garage code and he can ring the door bell until his finger falls off, because I already unplugged that. And I sleep like a rock....a tornado could rip through my house and I would sleep through it, so no amount of knocking is going to get me up either. He better hope that his cell phone doesn't die so he can call someone to pick him up, because if he's not here on time, he's not getting in. Lol

Yes ma'am you are absolutely right...he's always been the going out type...he's calmed down with it a lot over the last few years. There was a point where we were both party animals, but I grew out of it. I got bored with it. The clubs are all the same and I got tired of being hung over all weekend long and having to deal with the kids while he slept. He may be having a mid-life crisis....lol. He is retiring from rapping in February...he has done it since before I was even born but he finally realizes that he is just too old to keep doing it and trying to appeal to 18 and 21 year old kids. He doesn't have anything to say that interests them and I know that he is having a hard time thinking about giving it up. He gets emotional when he thinks about not recording and performing and going on tour anymore, but it's time. And you're right, if he wants to stay until the lights come on, then fine. But the bar closes at 2:15....after that it's time to call it a night. Lol

I have one at home but not as fancy looking as the one you will see in that link!

Firstly, sorry about that comment I made about 'having something at home..... This comment was meant for another discussion. Now about changing the code to keep your beloved from getting in...well... are you sure it will not precipitate issues and create problems later on? Just a thought.

He DOES know the code, but the point was if he didn't come home at a decent time I was going to change it so he couldn't get in at ALL...