my mother who is materialistic

maybe find a right time to talk to her, probably when she's in a good mood so that you can talk properly.. there, you can tell her what you really feel, make her understand that not all she wants, not all she tells you, or told you to do so, is good for you.. try to tell her that what might she think that is good, is good for you.. we have a lot of things to consider in making a decision, and it depends on our preferences, wants and needs.. have a great day.. :-)

hi friend, Why your mother is like that? there may be some reason behind it. But i agree we should not be so materialistic ,but sometimes it happens we cant help it. May be your mother thinking about the future . Talk to her in good manner and sort the problem.

I think your mom is thinking of you. She sounds like she wants the best for you and doesn't want you to go without and be poor. Sometimes we give and give and give and get nothing in return. I used to be like you and give freely, I would donate blood to the red cross and feel good that I may have saved someone's life but when I needed blood from the red cross, they charged me money. I can give blood and get money, it may not be a lot but it is something instantly back in return.

I hope that you are not really perceiving your mother to be a materialistic person when she is being realistic and practical. On your blood donation, while it is good that you do not expect any returns for your deed but if the other organization is offering 10 kilos of rice for your effort, I think it would be foolish not to give it due consideration. You need to remember that there are mouths that need to eat at your home and 10 kilos can sustain a family's consumption, so I feel your mother is not wrong here. Besides, "charity begins at home" you will still need to feed yourself to replenish after a blood donation. Think about it. There's nothing wrong for a mother to be looking out for their child's future and well being. Put yourself in her shoes, where she had been toiling for and with the entire family since she gave her hand to your father. The hardships and the fights she had to go through and the frightening prospect of loosing her livelihood when the bread stops coming to the dinner table. There's nothing wrong when she's trying to help you walk a lesser road to happiness. I believe, she's just asking you to reconsider but you took it that she's insisting. About forcing you to go to work, I am wondering if you had given up on pursuing a higher education at that time. If you did, then I don't think it is wrong for your mother to insist that you start working to support yourself and in turn help out with the family. Please do not take any offense, but from what you had posted, I cannot help feeling that your anger has clouded your judgment of the entire situation and perception of your mother. I can sense that there's a pressing need to support the family and you are not sensing the urgency and the family's predicament. Charity is good but remember it is not mandatory. It is an irony that you are so sensitive to the needs of others but otherwise with your family. There's nothing wrong with leading a normal stable life, but look around you and tell me if you could be living the life you want without first finding something to sustain your ideal. I tell you, this world is very cruel and harsh but if you are going to adopt this one sided attitude and perception, then you will eventually be hurting no one but yourself.

and the key words of parents is "it is for your goodness. i ask you to do this just for your goddness", thay often say like that right whenever they want us to do something. they sometimes ignore what our choice actually is. sometimes what they said or suggested is right but sometimes is wrong. and thing i dont like most is the way they talk to us. they tend to force their intention than to discuss it. i also get upset to my mother right now. she is not my own mother but my mother in law. i live with my parents in law since i got married. dont be surprised cos it so common happens in my society. my parents in law have four children and my husband is the first child. three other children live in another regions which is far away from their parents' house. my mother is law is a kind person actually but she becomes so annoying if it is related with her children. i think she is picky. she really loves to her daughters who live far away than to her only son, who is my husband. she sometimes treats me bad. not using words but i dont know, sometimes her attitude to me is like she underestimates me. yeah im from a poor family while she is a rich person. and she tends to love money and measure almost everything in money or other wealth. she is really proud to her third daughter's husband because he comes from a very rich family. she often tells to our neighbours how rich his family is. and about me, dont ask. im just like a 'free rider' for her in this family cos i dont have money. sometimes it hurts me much but leaving this house will emerge many bad things not only for me but also for my whole family. so what can i do now is only be patient and hoping so much i will leave this house someday. for you, be good to your mom. treating our mom in best service is a God favorite. God will praise you in the highest level. you may trust me..

Hello there! Thank you for sharing that to us. Probably your mom has some issues. Perhaps you could try talking to her about it? Or maybe start praying for her first. Maybe she has an experience in the past which molded her to be like that. We can never tell. Probably you should also ask some of your relatives about some of her past experiences or situations. Just don't give up on her. She needs you now more than ever.

I am so sorry that you are facing this kind of situation. Maybe the best thing you can do is pray for her. I know there are mothers who only think about themselves and never think considering the others. It's so sad that she is treating you that way.

Hi, fearlessgara! You are blessed with a golden heart! you have such a big heart in helping other people without asking for anything in return. That could be very rare these days considering how bad our economy has been, people would actually be wanting to return a favor from the person whom they have helped. I can see the frustrations you have over your mother. You could not blame her from feeling this way, maybe she just wanted to have a much comfortable life than the one she grew up into. I know that it could be wrong for asking/demanding too much from you or from others, but I guess, it is your duty to help her realize her mistakes. This may create some disagreements between the two of you, but assure her that no matter what, you will be there to help with the family's immediate needs as long as you can.

Sorry to hear that you and your mom are not on the same page when it comes to life decisions. I just want to ask, doesn't she have work? Is there any reason that prevents her from working? Because I am with you in the belief that we cannot rely our future and our daily needs out of the kindness of other people especially if it would mean using that person to some extent. Wouldn't she rather have the things that she wants out of her hardwork? Sometimes we have to be content and adjust to what we can only afford. When times re better, maybe we can splurge a bit. Besides, having all the material things that we want is not a guarantee that we will be happy. Have you tried talking to her about what you feel?